poetry competition?

[METH LAB]

keep it comming peeps we could take this shit to new hights..the u-75ers i got lots a shit like and some of you are pretty good if not better but i will have to be the lead singer/rapper f the group lol just messin i cant MC for fuck all.. i just write the shit.
............................

To quote a sporting term, that IMO is quite relevant "The time when you think you're invincible is actually the time when you're most vunerabale (load of bull shit re-mix) (feat: Mr.Mathers)
............................

ahh some peole like to challange and push me,
i dont mind coz there aint no fuckin way to shush me

we all know this one ffs

i get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave,
die fom an overdose and dig myself up outta my grave
my middle finger wont go down how do i wave?
and this how i go about skooling workers on how to behave?

now follow me and do exactly what you see
get pissed take drugs all kinds mix 'em up and O-D
I got genitle warts and it hurst when i pee
drink 40 units aday and you'll be just like me

dont ya wanna be just like me? (80% emienem, 20% me)

......................
(this is all me)

hell no tap a keyboard slap a hoe
you got an uzi i got an arrow and a bo
i drop 'em both and pull my cock out just for show
one day 'll die and quite frankly be a legacy to levals ide never thought ide get to, ya know

lets face it i manage to not make friends in skool
and the freinds i did have from small skool made new ones and left me in the shit pool
so now im eiher by myself or hangin with the ones that no one wants to hang out with.. get spat at and calld a div for having a packed lucnh sandwhich

smoke weed, take pills, eat base, smoke crytstal,
jump behind the wheel out ya nut and show off ya pistol

dont ya wanna be just like me?

fuckin right, up drinking all night
the next day im huggin the toilet like always seems to be the way

fuck work i cant be fucked im crashing like a bastard
and yes it was coz i stayed up all night getting high and plasterd
a heartles bastard, god dammit saying god dammit all the time
coz if a say god dammit now then ive just made that last bit rhyme

so fuck the police unless they nice
some of 'em are but ya better think twice
twice as nice is quite nice but not as nice as thrice
lemme snif this line up, not sleep, get possesd by demons an seeing spiders size as mice
......................

oh go away i liked it

from the hip!

peace!

 

[METH LAB]

This one i dedicate to chris C its allready on the DF but it came off the top of my head to the rhythem of a busta-rhyme tune and i liked one line and slightly alterd it bu rest is mine.

I'll call it....'About Fuckin Time' since the peep its dedicated to been waiting alot of his life for being able to feel better (its only a very short effort but this thread once again needs a kick up the ass)
............................................

About Fuckin Time

Tell ya what​

since i like you alot​

well not that much but enough to try and manage a plot​

i'll give ya a little poem i feel life to both of us has been alot of fuckin rot​

​

if you ever need any help dont bother me with it go bother somone else​

and i am only joking when i say that coz your welcome to bother me more than someone else​

​

these words can hurt things, if you allow them to​

and they can hurt things, and show you a thing or two​

​

but i dont wanna hurt you i wanna thank you for you are most deffenitaly safe​

and when i say safe i mean safe as fuck and thats Newport slang for basically being great​

im so fuckin glad you finaly got a med that suits your head and is legit and on the fuckin str8​

im giving serious thought to askin about it coz ive read your posts for ages and it seems to have made you great​

​

these words cant hurt you, or show you a thing or two​

coz i see youve found something, to stop you feeling blue.​

........................................................................​

​

that little ickle number was for chris C off the top of my sweed although i did nick the rythem and one poxy line from a busta rhymes tune lol​

​

peace!​

 

[Prince Bert]

CAN'T BE ARSED

You may think I'd read this thread
Peruse the comments posted in times past
But though there may be wisdom in much said
I just had a feed instead, and I can't be arsed

Not a poet in fact, just a simple lad
Made an effort to fit in with you
With arty types the city is already packed
I'm just sitting.
More a reporter than a poet, from my pad.

 

[METH LAB]

NO DONT DO IT!​

​

dont do what i do..unles you allready do.. in which case try not to do so much.. afterall we have a responsibility to these kidz and shit.. and also a responsibility to these trolls that just a little bit gettin on my wick abit so imma show 'em something with my keyboard and how words can sting abit​

​

if you gonna try to troll with me you better grab the cuffs​

some pepper spray a hand gun and some seriously big nuts​

coz i dont care if i die today so i sure as shit dont care about you​

trolling me is something ide advise you not to do​

​

coz it makes me unhappy, and when im sad i can get a little mad​

so unhappy, making me mad this could turn out bad​

​

so get the fuck right off my case​

or i will have to take your face​

and feed it to my dog right here​

she chews on bricks and got no fear​

and she hungry for troll blood​

all you here is a nasty thud​

thats the sound of a troll hiting the deck​

when i just hit it in the tummy and put out a cigerrete on its neck​

​

...............................................​

​

copy right Meth Lab 2012, str8 frm the hip. DAMN im so ​

​

peace to the peacfull.​

 

[METH LAB]

happy days? not really but thats where im at right now..im also on a million benzo's aday and 7 pints of methadone i swear some people claime to know about me and assume i go into my GP
and demand drugs and lie my ass off, and tbh its made me abit spikey
i must say coz they obviously cant fuckin read a fuckin word ive fuckin said or say
so why am i beating myself with the hammer over my head i dunno get used to it google it hot news just got dark matter from space and im abusing it..fools, tools, peices of worse than shit get off my god damn shoes

ffs allready i cant handle yas anymore.

glitter:

"Meth lab ignores his gp's and his workers and they know everything about him"

​

Translation: yada yada yada yada i aint gotta clue about ML im just tryin to start one
tryin to start him up since he comes out with so much good stuff
see what i mean? i drink gasolean and eat the lit match..or is it lit match and gasolean?
fucked if i know go ask the team
i been online what 20mins the whole juballie
and its allready just too fuckin much for me

coz you suck
yea thats right i said you suck
in fact i reckon you suck more than i cluck
dont try to pretend you know about me
you dont know shit and i would seriusly ask yaself why you have to doubt me?
You think my honesty isnt honest? ya wrong
piss me off some more i'll turn this from a paragraph to a song
and it wont take me long, coz on my fuckin writing homie i am deffinataly on!
but dont pretend that you know me and throw bull shit at me homie
coz it aint gonna work i just get all wound up bad mood and go fuckin berserk
and i'll end it now glitter stop being a jerk

FUCK! Ide say that might cause a rival but glitter i doubt could lay one line,
he/she too busy pretending he/she knows whats mine and in my mind
pissed me right off all this in less than one hour online.

 

[METH LAB]

BEER CAN NUMBER 3
...................................

can three​

no it couldant be​

that i have re-lapsed on the one thing sure to kill me​

​

in pain with tubes up in every hole in my body​

should i make amends now and say im sorry​

to all the people that ive slated and baited, frankly hated?​

or shuld i go mug a grandmothers trolly coz i need some cash to get my lolly​

​

where's my trolly? im off my trolly​

so this is porbably, about as good as i can do so sorry​

only it aint coz i can do much better this is whats called a quckie​

and when i say quicke i mean it came str8 from the hippie​

not having to give it much thought it just comes out of course​

and im gettin better every day i now have an anger remourse guilt trip bad feeling outlet of course ​

my kindgdom for a 4 pack of coors​

​

what am i doing​

im pissing myself off so god only knows how some of you my take it​

ide wish ide had the balls to tell them to take it instead coz if ide done that i wouldant be acids dread and god damn attack sub​

but i didnt i pussyed out like some sissy soft punk getting peer pressured up​

so i took it.. a self for-fulling prophercy is when something you think might well happan happans​

and to me it happened, it wouldant have happaned to bad but with acid it can get ya from little dab​

a mind mental stab..after that i found booze and theres been no going back​

​

so dam sad deranged i piss off everyone that gets in my cage​

i hate the way i sometimes fire off at the poeple that just want me better off​

but im an angry man, so thats the plan stan​

the angers gotta go somwhere dont it? otherwise your head just overloads with it​

and that would put me back in prison for sure dont like coppers knocking at my door​

so i'll spew it on here and if you dont like it tough shit i gues is the only way i can make it clear​

​

what your seeing right now is art..you all think its crap, shit half the shit i right is abit naff​

but i got shit stored away, better at the shit every day, did i say that allready once today?​

good i only need to say it two more times to make it thrice today, and when todays done im doomed to wake up to anotherone, just another one..followed by yep yes a fuckin 'nother one.​

​

​

(try not to be so god damn sensitive, im just blowing off steam..with methamphetamine..only without the methampetamine..I just couldant resist the ryme know what i mean?)​

​

peace​

​

​

 

[METH LAB]

THE HUMAN RACE HAVE FUCKIN LOST IT, NOT EVEN SURE THEY EVER GOT IT TO BEGIN WITH, ITS STUPID AND DAMN OFFENSIVE, IDE RATHER NOT BE A PART OF THIS COLLECTIVE
.........................................

imma be dead soon..for real even i agree with you all.. im kiling myself i hate this place this world and wanna shoot a shot of mace at its face for being so damn patheic.
we got some billons of people that suck the earth dry
we got some billions of people that are more nuts than I
we got some bilions of people that cant even agree
on how to stop the famine and lack of food degree

bunch of wankers all they interesed in is weapons and money
fuck the earth till they milk it for everything that its got
a part of that species I AM NOT!
Its embarasing to see them go at it
and have to agree that im the same on the same fuckin planet

humans = INSANE FREAKS!


its all about war and who got the bombest bomb of 'em all
there would be no famine if the heads used there heads at all
in a couple a decades this could be sorted, no diesise just food and meds
but the day that people start usin there heads...well i duno *shrug* i'll proably be long time dead
and poor mother earth will be hammerd to death and also dead, ask me if im human i'll just say no instead
coz these fuckin freaks cant even keep the world fed

 

[Prince Bert]

Flowing from the soul

Not going to proof read this one
It's coming straight from me like soup from a bowl
You may feel its warmth inside you
If you do I have achieved my goal

Potato, and green beans, just like mum used to make
I never got the recipe before she passed. What a fuckin mistake
I wish you all well, here and yonder. I say a prayer for your health
I must say this poem was written on the fly, this one weren't off the shelf.

 

[METH LAB]

Flowing from the soul

Not going to proof read this one
It's coming straight from me like soup from a bowl
You may feel its warmth inside you
If you do I have achieved my goal

Potato, and green beans, just like mum used to make
I never got the recipe before she passed. What a fuckin mistake
I wish you all well, here and yonder. I say a prayer for your health
I must say this poem was written on the fly, this one weren't off the shelf.

thats good prince B keep it comming?

 

[METH LAB]

ME AND MY BEAUTIFUL SHEEPDOG
..........................................

Since im here
and my sheepdoggys pushing her face up in between my hands and the keyboard
jealous of me when she dont get 110% attention, lol thats my doggy she my beautiful baby girl doggy, and ive seen her teeth break bricks in half honest!

For such a friendly soppy dog she got some teeth that could eat through any amount of beef, wont touch the sides, she eat the whole damn cow alive!

And they can hear her yea at night
when she goes out to take her last piss of the day
she also goes ballistic in her own way to state the fact that y'all better off stayin the fuck away

I say kill, she goes and commits murder
i say sit still, she goes and commits murder
if i say food she will actually do what i want
and then its back to hearding and murdering somewhat

something wrong with my dog for sure
she murders them b4 they even knock the door
she loves that pepper spray and allways askin the cops for more
but its never enough and she can never be cuffed
she cant even chill untill she's killed everone in the enitre street for meat
I blow a whistle to call her back, she comes back murdering everyone on the way and up for attack

my dog is a she dog but she ant no bitch
she will kill you and enjoy eating ya ribs
i tell no fibs, the most damn loyal of the lot is a dog that just wants to love you alot
in-between being a loving part of my family
I sometimes also have to tell her that im sorry
coz she also gets twitchy if she aint killed nobody,
3 days without human blood i start to get worried
that i'll be her next grub wounded and bloodied!

Im like girl, settle down ya dads smokin some brown and after that he gonna smoke some crack
and after that he gonna look himself in the mirror and call himself a twat
but you will lovely doggy of mine, get a nice walk round the back just lemme have this crystalised line
*snniifff* ah thats better fuck the crack and coke this crystal meths so much better

and now that i can do everything the least i can do, is go walkeys and put a string on your colla
aint even mind if its pissin it down with hail stones that make a crack head go AWOL, jump up and down cluckin like a chiken and holla!
trying to smoke up some fuckin water lol ive had that vibe myself aswell
especially with the whites
its like they got you searching every ittle bit of carpet twice
and twice again, and again, till ya head has fuckin droped and popped
like nothing left, cept twisted up in some room wondering what the fuck, how did this happen?
does it even matter all i know is there is something alot more loyal than a fuckin crystalised stone is
thats my dog she loves me regardless of how i treat her bad or not, she's the bizz damn right shiz my beutifull dog is so fuckin amazing
like i wanna express it but there aint no way of explaining
just how it is...uncondtional love

And no fuckin way not ever no chance not in any fuckin weather would i hurt that dog cuz
i love her so much wernt for her ide still be on an amphet buzz
she means the world to me like 10 times over, my beaufull pretty girl sheepdog i deffinataly owe ya
i try to give you enough of my time enough fusses yea i love you your mine
lets go walkeys, but can we try this time to not have you kill everyone you see this time (lol)

she eats my hair..like litterally eats it!
when im shaving myself to number 2 she eats my hair
i have wonderd is there something in there?
that gets her off her head? she laps up every last thread
coz its only on those days that she's had hair, that she doesant wanna murder the entire damn square!

(obviously im joking, my dog has a mean ass bark but never bitten anyone, except me lol)

peace!

 

[Prince Bert]

Questioning the distress

Poetry. What is it? Who defines?
The pine tree pines, and the oak is broke
I'm taking notes like leaves from this bloke
He helps me out, but he looks after his, and I look after mine

It's all twisted inside, but I'm just society in one man
I'm all smiles on the outside, but hollow as a tin can
Thought going through change was a phase, but it's becoming my lifetime
I was programmed from the cradle, now I need help. Someone throw me a lifeline.

 

[Greebo]

right hand in a cup
surfing instead of sewing
reduces tension

 

[METH LAB]

Prince Bert your having ago fair pay to ya most people aint interested lol

WHAT THE FUCKIN FUCK OF A FUCKIN BASTARD C*NTIN FUCK IS POETRY ALLREADY? (good name for a song re-mix/edit/dub etc lol)
.....................................................................................

poetry can be anything from just rhyming
although just one rhyme per line is basic not to taxin
its when you can kinda spin 'em around and get 2 rhymes in a sentance
thats when your able to make poetry in my opinion, or at least the ones that come out bestance
bestance aint even a word i couldant think of fuck all to rhyme with sentance
im not that good at it really but apart from taking drugs and drinkin its the only interest that has any fest-hunts

wht the fliyng pig of a fuck does fest-hunts mean?
fuck all as far as i can tell it made it rhyme so then it must be doing
someting at least
cant talk to the beast
the beast is commin to get me all i got is yeast
enough to make the beast deceaced?

Beats me man im hammerd right now and tryin to show
that writing poetry that doesant rhyme isnt really a friend of mine
i know some poets consider that you dont have to rhyme every line
and that i can agree with thats just fine

there's also some types that dont think you gotta rhyme at all
to be honest they just talk shit it makes no sense i guess the best way to call it is bollox and all and thats at best

you get some poets
they come on with there stuff not one fuckin word rhymes it completaly sucks
and they give it "your not looking deep enough" i guess my answer to that is it aint deep enough to go looking
just shallow as fuck not even worth cooking
not even worth bothering my head with those types
coz all there words amount to aload of fuckin shite

now i aint claming to be much good myself
but i can do it this is just rolling out, tuesdays the 12th
and you know what that means, i gotta do that damn benefit form b4 they take away my pitiful bit of wealth.

Im just like to put words together
my poetry style ive noticed get better
although sometimes when its words on a screen
you cant always express what you mean
what i mean by that is my style tends to kick back
influanced by abit of hip-hop and rap

Although i aint sayin really anyting much im just silly
except nobody on this thread has ever yet to beat me
seems like on every interest i take
soon comes as simple as baking a cake

look at the facts all my life i been batterd to hell and back on more than 20 occasions
i didnt go to skool much, im dyslexic as fuck, but i dont see anyone on this thread with enough patiance
I been told my attemts are shit
by peoples who's atempts are completaly non-existant!

fucked if i know what all that meant
im hammerd outta my tree and gonna get the last of the sunset

peace!

 

[METH LAB]

im starting to wonder if anyone reads this thread at all lol, like im talking to myself all the time

 

[Prince Bert]

Shitting in the woods

If you drop one in the woods and there's a splatter
if no man is there to hear it did it happen, does it matter?
Take pride in your log, it's a log among logs
Don't look for validation from the encircling wild dogs

That inside us is tranquillity not violence
Drop your log and don't seek an audience, there's peace in silence
It's about being true to yourself, this ain't all guns and pimpin G
If you looking for validation, that comes from within - you ain't gettin an ounce of sympathy.

 

[METH LAB]

Shitting in the woods

If you drop one in the woods and there's a splatter
if no man is there to hear it did it happen, does it matter?
Take pride in your log, it's a log among logs
Don't look for validation from the encircling wild dogs

That inside us is tranquillity not violence
Drop your log and don't seek an audience, there's peace in silence
It's about being true to yourself, this ain't all guns and pimpin G
If you looking for validation, that comes from within - you ain't gettin an ounce of sympathy.

that was goooood maaan, you good. do a longer one?

i aint lookin for validation i just wanna know from people that can actually write if the stuff i do is any good.. it easy for somebody to say im shit when they cant do it themselves(not you m8, other people) i would be interested in what actual poets think.

peace

 

[METH LAB]

maybe i make it stay on first page myself.
.................................................

RC vendors are fuckn pricks.

Im gonna say that again coz it sounds so right, maybe make it rhyme while this joint i light
RC vendors are fuckin pricks, they need to chew on some fuckin dynamite!
that will blow there head off as apposed to fuckin up somebodys life
coz thats what is happaning with all this RC SHITE!

money and addictive stims with no clue at all as to whats in 'em, them forgetting,
and dont gimme this bullshit about "you never know what your getting"
its true but ide bet on street gear being more likely to be what its supposed to be
instead of a meph dealer who cant deal meph no more trying to sell you everything and anything, promising to be the bomb the moon the sun and the sea
but since meph got the hammer its never what its fuckin supposed to be

they all fuckin drug dealers, drug dealers dont have much morals if they the type to sell major strong stimulants and halucinagens which we know nothing about..wake the fuck up! score real shit or just leave it.. youve tested enough!
These people dont care if they kill 10 people a night aslong as they get there hot wheels up! Driving expensive cars through the night and being rough

youve tested enough to know what the crack is
nothing ever gonna be like 99% meph,
if it was gonna it would have happaned allready,
they would sell you persil if it meant a few readies

unfortunatly they would also give you god knows what
thats a dealers plot, dont use the shit just sell it to make money
prohabition you fuckin drug dealers love it!

its the lively hard-headed mean ass gangsta's
prison aint shit to them they like the rep and makes them gangsta's

PMA was a gangsta's idea "here's a couple grand go make a billion PMA pills kid"
The kid chemist witch for that kinda money might make a kid chemist be happy and blow his lid

thse people are NOT your freinds but they will be as freindly
if not more freindly than ya real freinds.. even ya besty

they know how to play we get warned to stay away from it but there's also a side that makes it cool

But ide fuckin hate to somebody go skitsy, or worse, by taking reaserch chemicals that aint even got any fuckin research!

peace

 

[METH LAB]

DOSE OF THE DAY (will probably re-name at later date)
..........................

nah i cant have it
wont have it
aint gonna ever let it be
this thread is for the first page you see

coz its first and its fast
im fuckin ready to go quicker than a nuclear blast
take me to task, none of you ever do
i wonder why i guess rhyming shit is something you cant do

well i fuckin can so i can stand up and be the only one on my thread to keep it bumped up spilling my heart with angst and dread
y'all couldant give a fuck if was dead
and neither could i so whilst i watch this pathetic world go by i guess i'll just have to try
maybe abit softer, im fuckin done with tryin harder it leads to bad things.. like a bag of amphetamines

fuck the world and the people that in it
no fuckin way i have i got time for those pricks
i aint even got enough time for me
its gettin on abit and i aint even had my tea

im practising the MC'ing lark
at the moment i aint to good to say the least
im fuckin useless but will get better with practise
then i'll just need some fuckin beat maker to make me a beat and loop it
so i can come along and scope it
up like a sniper with a rifle
you will hear this shit in audible mode, maybe over desert whilst ya eating ya trifle

till then im gonna keep my thread on page one
its obvius now that people here either cant write, or choose not to
fuck why choose not to, anything to loose? no there's not dude!

excpet for the fact that im on top and wont ever fuckin stop
thanx alot
for the damn near complete rejection of my thread,
imma write some in my laptap have super and go to bed.
..............................................................

fuckin... i dunno fuckin seriusly fuckin fucked off with fuckin this fuckin touretts fuckin thing its like fuckin fuck stop sayng fuck no bitch you fuckin flat outta fuckin luck on that one bitch fuckin fuckertys and fuckin fuck!

fucks sake like...its jus fuckin words with alot of fuckin swears and cusses..nghtmares you wake up to find yaself sayng noting but fuckin..like all day long repeat the word over till its all gone, a sponserd fuckin fuck word-athon fuck it im fuckin gone till the morrow, carry on and wallow

peace!!

 

[petee]

not one of mine, but a favorite

Critical Can Opener
Richard Brautigan

There is something wrong
with this poem.
Can you find it?

 

[METH LAB]

i couldant find this damn theread probably on page 9 or whatever

 

[METH LAB]

not one of mine, but a favorite

Critical Can Opener
Richard Brautigan

There is something wrong
with this poem.
Can you find it?

it doesant exist??? theres nothing there.

just says critical can opener with some guys name underneath and then the words "there is something wrong with this poem, can you find it?"

well... no coz there aint shit all to find is there.???

if im missing something then elighten me please.

if not i guess its just some tripe attempt at some kinda weird odd modern art which involves not having to type/write any words or do anything really just give it a name and put your name to it and one poxy line that says "there is something wrong with this poem, can you find it?"
hell yea i can find it its right there being a non existant useless pathetic peice of shit.

or am i missing something??

 

[METH LAB]

anyway i said ide do one aday my album comming out soon for sure im gonna get rich off this shit
...................

hit me in the face with a lyrical blow
i'll hit you in the nuts yea the belt below
ready to go
its just so fuckin easy
yea check out my flow
god dammit this wind is breezy, to easy
i'll have to let you know

hit me up with a 10month tubs worth of cream that gets used for external thrush
coz i gotta case of it and it keeps comming back coz when the symptoms are gone i just stop putting it on cant be fucked
so a couple weeks later its back again i wake up and damn! i once again have fuckin thrush
so i use some cream for a couple a days it goes aways and then i get lazy and dont finish the course im on,
in or wrong, 2 pills and a hit on that bong, what the fuck am i doing none of this makes sense its all spewing ridiculas bananas im tense

fuckerty fuckerty fuckerty fuckerty there is something wrong with this poem can you find it?
fuckerty fuckin right i can
coz i am that man
critical poetry and opening cans

what a fuckin prick to come out with such complete bull shit
thats made me angry i cant stand for it
heres a proper rhyme and soon you'll be hearing it
my actual voice to a beat you'll be hearing it rhyme
this is something i didnt know i could do so much fuckin wasted time

there is something wrong with me and you better belive imma use this talant i seem to have
use to the max coz its he only thing i can think of that dont involve necking a bunch of tabs

so if somebody knows some beat making software or makes beats themself
hit me up on a PM and i'll have a go
but im still very crap on the mic so need to practise damn right but my writing is flowing better than its ever known.

hit me back
join in or attack
i dont care just gimme something to do with my hair
erm, whoops i mean my free time not my hair i have number 2 short shave oh yea!
but to be honest ive been known in the past to prance about the house in female clothing and a wig for the hair yea!

Although seems that went hand in hand with the shit that i was taking too much of
i am no longer drag and when i was i was to paranoid to enjoy it like i should have of
nothing wrong with it though put that shit on yea go get them nails polished a bra and some high heels and blow!
but i aint got the balls to walk around wearing that so i keep my sexual deviance to my home
lol

ahhhh fuckin hell. the things i admit to not doing or sometimes worse than that the things i am doing but im not doing either but if your a beliver then you can best belive im doing both...or neither.

there is something wrong with this poem can you find it?
coz i fuckin cant apart from it not being much cop but i gotta alot better but thats in my stock.

(i said stock as in memory stick not stockings lol )

back to the plot
there is something wrong with this poem can you find it?
I cant and im the one that rhymed it

 

[petee]

Poetry #1
P. Mentula

Take that,
you rat.

 

[METH LAB]

Poetry #1
P. Mentula

Take that,
you rat.

thats it??

for real thats it??

that dont make you a poet, not at all not even close nowhere near.
fuck im dyslexic and pretty much 80%(probably more) of this thread is my shit and some of it aint bad for the stuff i put on the net. My real good stuff goes elswhere(memry stick)

take that you rat
try better than that
have a go at a flow
its fun! yu can start tommorow

or today if you like
but if thats all you can write
then the competitin it seems just aint there
i dont want to insult you but with that last line i think i was being fair

the hardest part of doing what im doing is having you lot know the rythem im doing it at
im not even sure poetry is the right word for what im doing im making songs kinda hip-hop rap
two long ass verses with some kinda chorus in the middle aint hard for me at all
this is the writing forum i guess people dont write though they more intrested in whats on TV and the football
..........................

i need to be directed in a direction that is an actual poetry/writing site where people actually contribute as apposed to talking about whats on the fuckin TV

peace

 

[petee]

another one not my own.

Free Mumia!
O.J. did it,
and you know it.

- Amiri Baraka

 

[sojourner]

I could give you a critique methlab but you won't like it one bit.

Actually - why don't you see if there are any open mic nights in your area? You could go and trial it out there.

 

[METH LAB]

I could give you a critique methlab but you won't like it one bit.

Actually - why don't you see if there are any open mic nights in your area? You could go and trial it out there.

why wouldant i like it one bit? can you do better? show me?

i'll take negative critisism from somebody who can write..but not from somebody who cant.

i need more practise on the mic so i aint about to jump my social phobic ass on stage and make a prat of myself. But i got loads of meterial.

 

[Celt]

why wouldant i like it one bit? can you do better? show me?

i'll take negative critisism from somebody who can write..but not from somebody who cant.

i need more practise on the mic so i aint about to jump my social phobic ass on stage and make a prat of myself. But i got loads of meterial.

You don't have to be able to write, to know that you like or don't like something you read.

For me, it is all too aggressive, it might be better when performed.

If you put something on a forum like this, you can't then set who can and who can't criticise.

I can't sing, but I can hear singing and know if its ok or if its out of tune.

But I think its great that you enjoy writing it.

 

[sojourner]

why wouldant i like it one bit? can you do better? show me?

i'll take negative critisism from somebody who can write..but not from somebody who cant.

i need more practise on the mic so i aint about to jump my social phobic ass on stage and make a prat of myself. But i got loads of meterial.

I can show you stuff I've written yeh. Been published 8 times, won 3rd in a national competition, get invited to do performance guest spots regularly so yeh, I reckon I can write.

First though, I don't believe in negative crit, just constructive. The very fact that you have used the word 'negative' is an indicator of your potential reaction tbh. If you'd like an honest constructive crit of any of your work, pm it to me and I'll do one for you.

Open mic nights are exactly all about getting more practise. When I did my first one I trembled and shook and barely got through the first poem. But all open micers KNOW that that is how it feels, and that everyone shits themselves when they first get up, so the atmosphere in those places is incredibly supportive and friendly. I suggested open mic because the first thing that springs to mind about your stuff is that it is very much more stage than page.

 

[sojourner]

Another thing - there are an awful lot of ex users/alcos on the poetry scene, a lot still using, and a lot with traumatic lives. They write because it helps to get all the chaos out. And it is the absolute making of a lot of people.