Inspirational work mottos, signatures and posters

[DaveCinzano]

Whenever a newbie starts at my jargon-afflicted hellscape, they always point to this above my work station and ask what it means.

"FFS JUST GET SHIT DONE" I scowl welcomingly.



Any motivational texts from your workplace you'd like to share?

 

[spitfire]

There is no I in team but there is a U in cunt.

eta. Not you Dave, you're OK.

 

[DaveCinzano]

There is no I in team but there is a U in cunt.

But there is in 'meat pie', and 'meat' is an anagram of 'team'

 

[spitfire]

But there is in 'meat pie', and 'meat' is an anagram of 'team'

Hadn't thought of it like that.

 

[Idris2002]

"We have a fish with ears, and wonder if it is valuable"

 

[AverageJoe]

"We have a fish with ears, and wonder if it is valuable"

Do you work in a museum?

 

[Idris2002]

Do you work in a museum?

No, I just smell funny.

 

[DaveCinzano]

"We have a fish with ears, and wonder if it is valuable"

Hard of herring

 

[Idris2002]

Hard of herring

Only codding myself

 

[Steel Icarus]

Why is it impossible to dislike a bison?
Because they're so like a bull.

 

[Bus Honeygun]

I took a temp job at the old South West Electricity Board in 1996, just after they'd been taken over by an American corporation. You could literally see the shell-shock on those Devonian office worker faces.

"Think customer" was on the PC start-up screen.

"The road to success has no end" (endless desert road going into the sunset) was the poster on the wall opposite.

Post-it notes said, 'It takes ages to gain great customers, seconds to lose them'.

Urgh... <shudders>

I remember it all and I was only there six weeks. Fucking awful.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Why is it impossible to dislike a bison?
Because they're so like a bull.

Lol, wrong thread, dickhead

 

[Epona]

When I first started working in the statistics dept of a big Govt department, I printed out one of those quotes about x% of statistics being made up and blutacked it on the wall above my desk.
They still let me rebase the PPI.

 

[newme]

I'm stuck in an online meeting where we have so far had breathing exercises, some kind of chant, then a lot of people pretending they actually care about going to work.

 

[isvicthere?]

 

[likesfish]

Please continue
I like to bullshit as a hobby but I love to listen to a professional at work.

Our MT officer who was tired of everybody’s shit with good reason

 

[May Kasahara]

A few years ago, in a moment of disillusionment, I wrote "Thank god it's nearly over" on our office whiteboard. Despite everyone's best efforts it has stubbornly refused to be wiped off. Eventually my boss drew a big Venn diagram over the top, but you can still see it peeking through.

 

[DaveCinzano]

A few years ago, in a moment of disillusionment, I wrote "Thank god it's nearly over" on our office whiteboard. Despite everyone's best efforts it has stubbornly refused to be wiped off. Eventually my boss drew a big Venn diagram over the top, but you can still see it peeking through.

Like tears in the rain

 

[Silas Loom]

The people who sneak permanent markers into the whiteboard pen caddies are the real heroes here.