Indiana Jones 4

[Yossarian]

Journo confuses action film sequel for art film.

Wookey makes some valid criticisms there - the stuff he mentions, along with the things that I can't mention without spoiling the plot, are the kind of things that stretch reality so far that jars with the suspension of disbelief needed for an action film.

Falling over a massive waterfall and coming out alive is an action film standard, falling over three gigantic waterfalls and having everybody suddenly end up on the same side of the riverbank grinning about it is just a sign of a film that's been too heavily edited....

 

[Yossarian]

Not cola!! Fizzy cola bottles!

OK, got you - those prices are definitely insane but at least it's on the kind of stuff you should easily be able to smuggle into the cinema from outside unless they're imposing searches so thorough as to turn off 99% of punters and make you wonder about the other 1%.

 

[Wookey]

Wookey makes some valid criticisms there - the stuff he mentions, along with the things that I can't mention without spoiling the plot, are the kind of things that stretch reality so far that jars with the suspension of disbelief needed for an action film.

Falling over a massive waterfall and coming out alive is an action film standard, falling over three gigantic waterfalls and having everybody suddenly end up on the same side of the riverbank grinning about it is just a sign of a film that's been too heavily edited....

The cliched stereotype that Jaed relies on for his tiresome dig is that a professional journalist-type can only ever really be interested in 'art-house' fillums, and can't possibly understand the sheer fun and abandon needed for a brainless action flic - little does he seem to realise that action flics can be great or shite just like any art-house film, and the measure of their greatness depends on their knowing use and subversion of accepted standards within the genre.

They certainly can't be great films with poor editing, plot sequences that don't make sense, characters that pop up or change motivation simply to further the storyline, and entire premises that lurch from one arc to the next with no sense of story fulfillment. That's just shit in any genre, and it patronises the audience - and audience, mind you, that Speilberg knew full well would be full of late 20 and 30-somethings who are experienced and movie-literate enough to expect something of a higher quality.

Very disappointed in this, I was. But still not as disappointed in a £1.50 bag of toffees that I had finished before the adverts had.

 

[Wookey]

OK, got you - those prices are definitely insane but at least it's on the kind of stuff you should easily be able to smuggle into the cinema from outside unless they're imposing searches so thorough as to turn off 99% of punters and make you wonder about the other 1%.

I was being greedy, I also had two packs of Chewitts, one bag of Sour Skittles, one bag of normal Skittles, one bag of Revels, and a bottle of drinking cola in my carrier bag! I was just after those special sweets you can only get from the pick n mix.

When I moaned in the pictures my other half reminded me that some people live on £1.50 a day, so that shut me up.

 

[DotCommunist]

I can forgive the glaring continuity errors. I can overlook the ropey dentures of a faded sex symbol who makes a better table than he does an actor. I can forgive the writers (sorry, the Raiders of the Lost Story Arc) shoe-horning plot events into place with as much literary panache as a Roadrunner cartoon. I can forgive him escaping an atom bomb blast encased in a 1950s fridge, the three waterfall accidents with no deaths, the father-son plot line that was so well-hidden I only saw it coming a full three weeks before I even walked into the cinema...I can even forgive the unga-bungerisation of the South American tribespeople, coupled with the continued demonisation of communism by a Hollywood which can concurrently refer to it's own McArthyist schizophrenia while at the same time reaching for the Ruskie shelf whenever they need to portray a baddie intent on ruling the world.

What I cannot forgive, and will not forget, is the fact that three fizzy cola bottles, one lump of fudge, two strawberry laces and a sherbet saucer should set me back nearly £1.50 at my local Odeon.

Fuck Mayan gold - Indiana Jones should be making a beeline for the bastard pick-and-mix. A satchel full of that, and the cunt would have no need to make such shite films for his old-age pension.

Learn to sneak in your own beverages and munch. It is the only logical way, unless you want to pay a rapists price on everything other than the ticket

 

[Idris2002]

One thing that stood out was seeing Indy going from a academic suspicious of the government in Raiders ("we have top people working on it" "who?") to a CIA agent...

That was one of the credible bits in it, surely? An Indian Jones would have been OSS in the war, and would have changed his opinion about the government as a result.

 

[Wookey]

Learn to sneak in your own beverages and munch. It is the only logical way, unless you want to pay a rapists price on everything other than the ticket

Will nobody listen!??

I sneaked in a LOAD of munchies, I was being GREEDY and wanted MORE and for this I was STUNG to the tune of one and a half pounds for teh sake of a sniff of sugar and a mouthful of jelly chewables, and NO ONE can give me advice on sneaking in beverages and munch because I INVENTED IT, I have cheeks like a SQUIGGLE for storing toffees, and extra deep pockets for screw-top pop!! Please desist on treating me like a green first-time movie goer, I re-wrote the rule book when it comes to... etc etc etc.

 

[DotCommunist]

Will nobody listen!??

I sneaked in a LOAD of munchies, I was being GREEDY and wanted MORE and for this I was STUNG to the tune of one and a half pounds for teh sake of a sniff of sugar and a mouthful of jelly chewables, and NO ONE can give me advice on sneaking in beverages and munch because I INVENTED IT, I have cheeks like a SQUIGGLE for storing toffees, and extra deep pockets for screw-top pop!! Please desist on treating me like a green first-time movie goer, I re-wrote the rule book when it comes to... etc etc etc.

When I went to see iron man I snuck a can of beer each and a sandwich. For six of us.

All hail the puffa jacket with convenient shoplifters slit in the lining.

 

[Wookey]

When I went to see iron man I snuck a can of beer each and a sandwich. For six of us.

All hail the puffa jacket with convenient shoplifters slit in the lining.

If ever I get caught I have a story lined up about the lack of guaranteed vegetarian sweets and regulating my insulin levels.

 

[Yossarian]

When I went to see iron man I snuck a can of beer each and a sandwich. For six of us.

All hail the puffa jacket with convenient shoplifters slit in the lining.

That slit in the lining works great - could probably sneak in enough beer for me and a dozen associates to binge-drink through Dr. Zhivago with one of those...

 

[Idris2002]

The more I think of it, the more I think Blanchett was wasted.

Colonel Dr. Spalko and the People's Republic of the Crystal Skull is the film I wanted to see, really.

And given what we now know about Operation Paperclip, there was nothing to stop them having Nazis in the film.

Also, they could have tied in with the Nazi flying saucer thing. The whole 'ancient astronaut' thing is pretty much forgotten these days, as I discovered when trying to teach Marcel Griaule's work on the Dogon.

On reflection, it could, and should, have been a lot better than it was.

 

[Detroit City]

what i can't believ is some of you people spent good money to see this crap shit movie....i'll wait until I can rent it for $2

you all bought into the marketing and hype...what a bunch of fools

 

[Chairman Meow]

what i can't believ is some of you people spent good money to see this crap shit movie....i'll wait until I can rent it for $2

you all bought into the marketing and hype...what a bunch of fools

You're the fool mate. Action movies are only worth watching on a big screen, otherwise whats the point?

 

[selamlar]

1 -

Spoiler: 1

Gophers

2 -

Spoiler: 2

Scorpions don't bite

3 -

Spoiler: 3

Gunpowder isn't magnetic, nor does it have metal in it

4 -

Spoiler: 4

Lead isn't magnetic. Nor is gold. Nor it seems are selected bits of ferrous metal that aren't important for the effect

5 -

Spoiler: 5

siafu are an african species of ant

6 -

Spoiler: 6

DUKW had a double rear axle, and were american/UK kit, not soviet. The Soviets used GAZ 46

7 -

Spoiler: 7

Don't use fucking CGI, its shit

How come there was no other soldiers in the army camp at the start, apart from the ones on the gate?

We liked the monkeys, and I though him surving the expolsion in the lead lined fridge was hilarious.

Where were the soldiers?
Monkeys bad, fridge good

Wookey makes some valid criticisms there - the stuff he mentions, along with the things that I can't mention without spoiling the plot, are the kind of things that stretch reality so far that jars with the suspension of disbelief needed for an action film.

There was a plot?

All in all, though, not too bad, could have been worse, good action film etc. Not as good as the original trilogy, but then again it was never going to be, was it.

 

[wishface]

You're the fool mate. Action movies are only worth watching on a big screen, otherwise whats the point?

Big screens exist only in movie theatres?

 

[Chairman Meow]

Big screens exist only in movie theatres?

No, but I'd wager not many people have a cinema sized screen in their house.

 

[wishface]

I certainly don't but i much prefer to watch movies here or similar than in a movie theatre these days. Cheaper and without the added bonus of mobile phones and chavs. Cinema is dead long live DVD!

 

[Pingu]

I can forgive the glaring continuity errors. I can overlook the ropey dentures of a faded sex symbol who makes a better table than he does an actor. I can forgive the writers (sorry, the Raiders of the Lost Story Arc) shoe-horning plot events into place with as much literary panache as a Roadrunner cartoon. I can forgive him escaping an atom bomb blast encased in a 1950s fridge, the three waterfall accidents with no deaths, the father-son plot line that was so well-hidden I only saw it coming a full three weeks before I even walked into the cinema...I can even forgive the unga-bungerisation of the South American tribespeople, coupled with the continued demonisation of communism by a Hollywood which can concurrently refer to it's own McArthyist schizophrenia while at the same time reaching for the Ruskie shelf whenever they need to portray a baddie intent on ruling the world.

What I cannot forgive, and will not forget, is the fact that three fizzy cola bottles, one lump of fudge, two strawberry laces and a sherbet saucer should set me back nearly £1.50 at my local Odeon.

Fuck Mayan gold - Indiana Jones should be making a beeline for the bastard pick-and-mix. A satchel full of that, and the cunt would have no need to make such shite films for his old-age pension.

shell garage prior to movie ftw

 

[Vintage Paw]

Oh dear, Mr Paw is adamant going to see this film is a worthwhile way to spend bank holiday Monday

He's even having a pre-film bath

He's so excited.

 

[Chairman Meow]

I certainly don't but i much prefer to watch movies here or similar than in a movie theatre these days. Cheaper and without the added bonus of mobile phones and chavs. Cinema is dead long live DVD!

Good for you! I don't mind paying 15 euro for the three of us to go to see it on the big screen - well worth every penny to see my sprog going 'WOOOOAAAAHHHHH!' when something exciting happened. I didn't hear any mobile phones either, just a lot of excited kids cheering along.

 

[jæd]

The cliched stereotype that Jaed relies on for his tiresome dig is that a professional journalist-type can only ever really be interested in 'art-house' fillums, and can't possibly understand the sheer fun and abandon needed for a brainless action flic - little does he seem to realise that action flics can be great or shite just like any art-house film, and the measure of their greatness depends on their knowing use and subversion of accepted standards within the genre.

I will go to the said "filum" and see if using a sense-of-humour and childish wonder is any more helpful when see-ing it...

 

[sleaterkinney]

Oh dear, Mr Paw is adamant going to see this film is a worthwhile way to spend bank holiday Monday

He's even having a pre-film bath

He's so excited.

Amuse yourself by counting out the action movie clichés as you see them, or eat lots of sweets.

 

[stargazer]

Never liked Harrison Ford that much.

 

[Wookey]

Oh dear, Mr Paw is adamant going to see this film is a worthwhile way to spend bank holiday Monday

He's even having a pre-film bath

He's so excited.

You have disappointment in the post.

 

[Fictionist]

I went to see this yesterday with no expectations, and it really is a bit of a mess. But there was a scene which has stayed with me quite strongly since watching it, and that was Indy walking up to look up at the blast from the bomb. That scene was truly horrific yet visually beautiful. As a child of the 80's that resonated quite unexpectedly with me.

 

[wishface]

and screaming kids is not what i want as a patron.

 

[Chairman Meow]

and screaming kids is not what i want as a patron.

Well if you are too curmudgeonly to put up with a bit of childish whooping at an Indiana Jones movie, yeah, I agree, you're better off at home with your dvd.

 

[Lemon Eddy]

I can forgive the glaring continuity errors. I can overlook the ropey dentures of a faded sex symbol who makes a better table than he does an actor. I can forgive the writers (sorry, the Raiders of the Lost Story Arc) shoe-horning plot events into place with as much literary panache as a Roadrunner cartoon. I can forgive him escaping an atom bomb blast encased in a 1950s fridge, the three waterfall accidents with no deaths, the father-son plot line that was so well-hidden I only saw it coming a full three weeks before I even walked into the cinema...I can even forgive the unga-bungerisation of the South American tribespeople, coupled with the continued demonisation of communism by a Hollywood which can concurrently refer to it's own McArthyist schizophrenia while at the same time reaching for the Ruskie shelf whenever they need to portray a baddie intent on ruling the world.

Brilliant summary of much that was shit about the film. You're a sight more charitable than me though.

Bizarrely, Iron Man was way better than it should have been though, so I guess I achieved film karma over the weekend.

 

[ChrisFilter]

Well if you are too curmudgeonly to put up with a bit of childish whooping at an Indiana Jones movie, yeah, I agree, you're better off at home with your dvd.

I assume you've not come across wishface before, then? He's the grumpiest person alive

 

[Vintage Paw]

I can forgive the glaring continuity errors. I can overlook the ropey dentures of a faded sex symbol who makes a better table than he does an actor. I can forgive the writers (sorry, the Raiders of the Lost Story Arc) shoe-horning plot events into place with as much literary panache as a Roadrunner cartoon. I can forgive him escaping an atom bomb blast encased in a 1950s fridge, the three waterfall accidents with no deaths, the father-son plot line that was so well-hidden I only saw it coming a full three weeks before I even walked into the cinema...I can even forgive the unga-bungerisation of the South American tribespeople, coupled with the continued demonisation of communism by a Hollywood which can concurrently refer to it's own McArthyist schizophrenia while at the same time reaching for the Ruskie shelf whenever they need to portray a baddie intent on ruling the world.

What I cannot forgive, and will not forget, is the fact that three fizzy cola bottles, one lump of fudge, two strawberry laces and a sherbet saucer should set me back nearly £1.50 at my local Odeon.

Fuck Mayan gold - Indiana Jones should be making a beeline for the bastard pick-and-mix. A satchel full of that, and the cunt would have no need to make such shite films for his old-age pension.

OK, this is the best post I have *ever* read on Urban. Good on you Wookey