How was your cycle commute?

[Orang Utan]

Had a conversation with a bellend colleague in which he broadly dissed cyclists with the usual swathe of ill-informed nonsense and lies - road tax, insurance blah blah blah
Worse, he kept referring to me as an 'eco warrior'! Ha! I told him I was just tight.

 

[Onket]

Not that I've ever had to, but I reckon never argue with a traffic police. Eyes down, humble, yes sir, sorry sir, won't do it again sir, you've taught me a valuable lesson sir.

Generally good advice for dealing with any copper. Or bouncer. Or anyone in that 'position of authority'.

 

[plurker]

I see your point, but I'm more than happy to point out when they're in the wrong. As this one clearly was - if you don't know the traffic-light sequence, you have no (legal or otherwise) reason to interrupt my journey. And you don't call me a gobby twat for pointing out you don't know the most basic tenet of your job.

 

[Onket]

I see your point, but I'm more than happy to point out when they're in the wrong. As this one clearly was - if you don't know the traffic-light sequence, you have no (legal or otherwise) reason to interrupt my journey. And you don't call me a gobby twat for pointing out you don't know the most basic tenet of your job.

How did it end?

 

[plurker]

With me saying 'right, I've made my point, you're insistent on yours. We're wasting each others' time, can I leave now.' to which he said 'yes'.
I upped on the pedals to hop off the pavement back onto the road, he said 'Oi don't ride on the pavement' and I shouted 'oh for fuck's sake...' over my shoulder.

 

[Onket]

 

[Pickman's model]

Pulled over by Met police motorbike cop last night - for cycling through a flashing amber light on an otherwise clear pedestrian crossing on Clapham Common southside. Didn't expect him to argue quite so hard that "flashing amber's the one before it goes red - YOU COULD DIE".
I did my best to point out his mistake but he just called me "a gobby twat"


Met's motto is "Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity", the more i see the more I think "Idiocy, Ignorance and Rudeness" would serve the force better....

i think you'll find the fidelity, bravery and integrity is the federal bureau of investigation's motto, it's not the met's.

muppets, prats and scoundrels would do better for the mps.

 

[ddraig]

do him for calling you a twat!

 

[gentlegreen]

Sounds like when they kick someone's door in by mistake and refuse to pay for it.

 

[ddraig]

err don' they have to pay for it if mistake and not done anything wrong?

 

[Orang Utan]

Just remembered another thing the bellend said to me this morning.
On learning I wore earphones on my bike: "how is a lorry supposed to see or hear you if you are wearing earphones?'
Classic

 

[Frances Lengel]

err don' they have to pay for it if mistake and not done anything wrong?

Yeah but it's a proper ballache trying to claim it back.

 

[Dogsauce]

err don' they have to pay for it if mistake and not done anything wrong?

They did when they put through the door of some friends of mine on a botched drug raid, a retired couple (one a wheelchair user) who are heavily involved in community work, chair the local council forum whenever the councillors are on holiday and are on the local police liaison committee. I think they got sent some flowers as well. Of all the people to raid by mistake!

 

[gentlegreen]

Just remembered another thing the bellend said to me this morning.
On learning I wore earphones on my bike: "how is a lorry supposed to see or hear you if you are wearing earphones?'
Classic

Of course what they actually mean is - "how can you hear me approaching at speed from behind and dutifully smear yourself into the kerb / doorzone ?"
I often make a point of pretending I can't hear them - I especially like it when they sound their horn and I fire my louder one back

 

[ddraig]

ah i see ta
fuckers were chuffed when they found something after putting my door through
"we don't have o pay for the door now mate"

 

[gentlegreen]

Arse. arse, arse.
No ride this evening - I even had a special banana sandwich in preparation for it.
Just as I was wheeling the bike out of the bike shed I realised what the scrunching sound had been coming from my front wheel.
I could actually get my fingernail in through the crack in the rim at one point.

What is it with me and not recognising metal fatigue when I hear it ?
Two saddles and a seat post gave me advance warning that I rationalised away.
I've no idea how I managed to miss the rusted steerer.

I'd taken the other wheel off to do the bearings and somehow had chosen my worst spare front wheel - and was slow in putting the proper wheel back on. Rest assured I rode home more cautiously that usual and wore my helmet.

It was amazing how much I had to loosen the brake cable !

I could go out again - I've only added a few miles to the ride, but the moment has gone.
I will try to enjoy sitting in the garden instead and hope tomorrow evening isn't too cloudy.

 

[gentlegreen]

ah i see ta
fuckers were chuffed when they found something after putting my door through
"we don't have o pay for the door now mate"

In the USA, for all its hideousness, I suspect they wouldn't have got away with that - assuming what they found didn't closely match what was on the warrant.

 

[ddraig]

well my landlord didn't charge me for the door and gave the pcso who grassed me up and lived next door her notice instead!

 

[a_chap]

has anyone got any tips for stopping a kryptonite d lock rattling?

How about one of these?

https://www.missionbicycle.com/store/ulock-holster

 

[gentlegreen]

That looks suspiciously "handy".

 

[gentlegreen]

I think I had a narrow escape on the way home.
Turned right at the traffic lights and I caught a car moving from the right out of the corner of my eye - must have gone straight ahead when it was actually a left filter arrow - now there's something I never thought of planning for.
Perhaps they changed their mind at the last moment and saw that it was "only a cyclist" ...

 

[Onket]

[quote"Orang Utan, post: 12497043, member: 3081"]Just remembered another thing the bellend said to me this morning.
On learning I wore earphones on my bike: "how is a lorry supposed to see or hear you if you are wearing earphones?'
Classic[/quote]

That is quite funny.

Cyclists who cycle with headphones on are idiots though. Why intentionally remove one of your senses?

 

[gentlegreen]

Cyclists who cycle with headphones on are idiots though. Why intentionally remove one of your senses?

Here we go ....

 

[Orang Utan]

[quote"Orang Utan, post: 12497043, member: 3081"]Just remembered another thing the bellend said to me this morning.
On learning I wore earphones on my bike: "how is a lorry supposed to see or hear you if you are wearing earphones?'
Classic

That is quite funny.

Cyclists who cycle with headphones on are idiots though. Why intentionally remove one of your senses?[/quote]
It just partially dulls them.

 

[gentlegreen]

I find it takes the edge off the tedious traffic noise - incorporates it into my ambient mix - doesn't stop me hearing how close the tailgaters are though ...

 

[Onket]

Here we go ....

I have no intention of going over it again, especially as a) you never listen to anything anyone says and b) going over it again would be as dull as any conversation you ever have a part in, on here.

Yes, you can call that a bite.

 

[Onket]

I find it takes the edge off the tedious traffic noise - incorporates it into my ambient mix - doesn't stop me hearing how close the tailgaters are though ...

Here we go......

 

[joustmaster]

I like to cycle with one eye shut..

 

[Orang Utan]

I just like listening to music so much that I am willing to take that small risk. o

 

[Onket]

I like to cycle with one eye shut..

And why not, it only partially impacts on your sight, and you can still see the tailgating cager cunts, etc, etc, me, me, me. Everyone else is wrong.