Dullest Film Ever

[SpookyFrank]

Life on this thread needs dulling down a bit....

Pretty sure that's just a still image of some paint.

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Pretty sure that's just a still image of some paint.

Everyone's a fucking movie critic these days....

 

[Spymaster]

Pretty sure that's just a still image of some paint.

Yep.

Flick between 1 minute and 9 hours and there is no change!

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Pretty sure that's just a still image of some paint.

You've ruined the magic.

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Yep.

Flick between 1 minute and 9 hours and there is no change!

They had a small effects budget

 

[The Octagon]

Life on this thread needs dulling down a bit....

Still better than Battlefield Earth

 

[Santino]

As one extreme example of ancient war, when Carthage was finally destroyed by the Romans in 146BC an estimated 200,000 people died in the siege. The remaining 50,000 were sold into slavery.

 

[Santino]

In terms of proportion of the world population at the time, that's equivalent to the deaths of around 9 or 10 million people today.

 

[Nanker Phelge]

Here we go again.

 

[Santino]

By contrast, a conflict such as the Thirty Years War was the equivalent of anything between 40M and 140M casualties today (estimates vary greatly).

 

[Santino]

For completeness, the 60M casualties of the Second World War are the equivalent today of around 210M.

 

[krtek a houby]

And I think you're an idiot if you think that. At least I have some educational background in archaeology and palaeontology backing up my views. I can't really be arsed to get into this with you, because it's not that important to me to spend time arguing about it. Sorry!

 

[krtek a houby]

I've been here since 2001 if that makes any difference

2001? Great film, that. To me it shows that out of our inherent violence an amazing evolutionary jump will come.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

2001? Great film, that. To me it shows that out of our inherent violence an amazing evolutionary jump will come.

We're so fucking dumb, only aliens can save us?

 

[Pickman's model]

We're so fucking dumb, only aliens can save us?

aliens: or greater beings than ourselves, as per e.g. xianity, islam etc etc ad nauseam

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Yeah, something suitably vague and confusing. My reading of 2001, fwiw, is about the opposite of krtek's. Apes in space, floundering around, needing to be saved from ourselves.

 

[krtek a houby]

We're so fucking dumb, only aliens can save us?

Like Superman!

 

[Santino]

In the un-filmed third sequel, 3001, the aliens have actually decided to destroy humanity because of its destructive nature, but the ghost of HAL saves the world by uploading a computer virus into the monolith.

 

[krtek a houby]

In the un-filmed third sequel, 3001, the aliens have actually decided to destroy humanity because of its destructive nature, but the ghost of HAL saves the world by uploading a computer virus into the monolith.

They needn't bother. We're pretty damn good at destroying ourselves

 

[Reno]

Yeah, something suitably vague and confusing. My reading of 2001, fwiw, is about the opposite of krtek's. Apes in space, floundering around, needing to be saved from ourselves.

Apes never needed saving, they would have never gotten us into the mess we were in already by the 60s and I don't think that's what the film is about. Aliens saving humanity from itself is something a lot of science fiction does (The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Abyss, every second Star Trek episode) but in 2001 the aliens' purpose for us remains unknown. The aliens are an enigma who are beyond our understanding and the idea was to rather than come up with some benevolent or monstrous creature, to go for something which is as mysterious as the universe itself. Some films aim to be ambiguous and a lot of people feel uncomfortable with ambiguity and they impose a pad solution or they outright reject it.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

Apes never needed saving, they would have never gotten us into the mess we were in already by the 60s and I don't think that's what the film is about. Aliens saving humanity from themselves is something a lot of science fiction does (The Day the Earth Stood Still, The Abyss, every second Star Trek episode) but in 2001 the aliens' purpose for us remains unknown and the aliens are an enigma who are beyond our understanding. Some films aim to be ambiguous and a lot of people feel uncomfortable with ambiguity and they impose a pad solution or they outright reject it.

Sorry, I don't agree. I think apes in space, floundering around, is a fair description. I take the point that the aliens' purpose remains unknown, but our floundering around is clear, imo.

 

[Reno]

Sorry, I don't agree. I think apes in space, floundering around, is a fair description. I take the point that the aliens' purpose remains unknown, but our floundering around is clear, imo.

That I'm just about fine with, the "saving" I'm not as I don't think any animal needs saving because it is well adapted to its environment. The aliens give the humanoids an evolutionary push which will eventually allow them to explore space to meet their "benefactors", but the moral purpose behind that is cloudy to say the least. It may not benefit of the humans but the aliens.

 

[Reno]

On second thought, why didn't they chose cats instead of simians, that would have been so much more cute.

 

[krtek a houby]

 

[Pickman's model]

 

[SpookyFrank]

In the un-filmed third sequel, 3001, the aliens have actually decided to destroy humanity because of its destructive nature, but the ghost of HAL saves the world by uploading a computer virus into the monolith.

It's not a virus, it's the collected historical records of all mankind. The idea being to say to the aliens 'look, they're not all bad'. Which is like the opposite of what happens in the Fifth Element, where the collected historical records of all mankind makes Leelu decide to destroy Humanity.

 

[NoXion]

My impression (which is influenced by having read the books) is that the Monolith builders weren't in the business of uplifting humanity specifically, but rather were a bunch of cosmic-scale gardeners of life, and (proto-)humans proved sufficiently interesting for them to cultivate. They would later ignite Jupiter into a new star in order to encourage life to further develop on Europa, while at the same time guarding that Galilean moon from interference by humans.

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS—EXCEPT EUROPA
ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE​

 

[Santino]

It's not a virus, it's the collected historical records of all mankind. The idea being to say to the aliens 'look, they're not all bad'. Which is like the opposite of what happens in the Fifth Element, where the collected historical records of all mankind makes Leelu decide to destroy Humanity.

This is from the synopsis on Wikipedia:

"Frank conscripts Bowman and HAL, who have now become a single entity—Halman—residing in the monolith's computational matrix, to infect the monolith with a computer virus. The monolith does receive orders to exterminate humanity, and duplicates itself; whereupon millions of monoliths form two screens to prevent Solar light and heat from reaching Earth and its colonies. Due to Halman having already infected the first monolith, all the monoliths disintegrate."

 

[Reno]

Ding, dong the witch is dead !

Those sequels to Renezvous With Rama weren't that great either.

 

[ChrisC]

Inspired by the thread on Charlotte Gray.

I fell asleep during Gangs Of New York, Gladiator and The English Patient.

Solaris has to be the winner though.

44 Inch Chest. Ray Winstone. Awful film. I lost an hour and a half of my life watching that shit.

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