Bidet seats - instant Japanese style toilet

[gentlegreen]

Oh and TMI, but if things are a bit reluctant, a partial enema is very handy. And as I have internal haemorrhoids that sometimes give me issues this is a life changer.
Quite WHY I have them with MY diet and low motional viscosity is a whole other question...

 

[gentlegreen]

Are they CE certified?

Probably a microbiological nightmare even before you add electricity to the mix...

 

[maomao]

But I only paid £12

Is this an actual bidet attachment or some sort of Heath-Robinson contraption with rubber bands and a garden hose?

 

[gentlegreen]

Is this an actual bidet attachment or some sort of Heath-Robinson contraption with rubber bands and a garden hose?

An ACTUAL one ordered from China.
I'm amazed it hasn't flooded my bathroom, but it comes with a surprisingly high quality braided flexible adaptor and pressure reducer.

 

[JimW]

Wouldn't it be easier to just shit in the shower?

 

[MrCurry]

I bought one of these, but it didn’t fit our throne, so it’s sitting in disgrace in the garage while I ponder my next move.

Seems to me these things are mostly built for the asian market, and for whatever reason asian loos seem deeper (front to back measurement) than our western ones. There’s probably some good reason for that, but I can’t see it, since Japanese folk are on average shorter.

Anyhow, before rushing to click ”buy” on that irresistible eBay listing for a ring-spraying, arse-biscuit slaying, Japanese-text-imprinted ablution solution, do please check the measurements of your existing seat of relief!

 

[gentlegreen]

No scope for modification ?

 

[gentlegreen]

 

[Cid]

Oh! And Cid i think you're prices of £380 is a little on the optimistic side

Electric Bidets

Bidet seats from Tooaleta are the ideal way to add bidet functionality to your existing toilet. We offer the best selection of bidet toilet seats and bidet toilet attachments.Requires electricity to heat the water and to enable other functions, such as, heated seat, air dryer etc.

tooaleta.co.uk

To clarify - because I know we are not pro-advertising here - I blagged it off a friend who works for the company (VOVO). I believe they've started exporting direct or something (hence blag), the one I got is on Amazon for £364-380 but that may just be temporary pricing while they get set up.

Mine is self-cleaning, though you can also extend the nozzle to do a more thorough job. With regards to MrCurry 's problem, this one comes in two sizes, the 'round' one fits my generic bog. Also all the text is in English. Possibly translated by my friend.

 

[freakydave]

View attachment 224556

I was going to say, you don't need to spend 100s of pounds on these, it's just a hose.

These are so much better than toilet paper, I never realised how skanky paper is until I got one. Imagine you got poop on any other part of your body and just wiped it with paper until it seemed ok and then carried on

 

[gentlegreen]

Folks might like to factor in the cost of bog roll.
The crisis this year caused me to discover that one "double density" Aldi bog roll lasts me 18 days.
I used to be a proflicate user and toilet-blocker in my futile attempts to get properly clean via "ineffective smearing" - though the discovery of the joys of diluted aloe vera gel preceded my bidet purchase by many years.

 

[gentlegreen]

I was going to say, you don't need to spend 100s of pounds on these, it's just a hose.

These are so much better than toilet paper, I never realised how skanky paper is until I got one. Imagine you got poop on any other part of your body and just wiped it with paper until it seemed ok and then carried on

I bought one of these to try but haven't got around to fitting it.

 

[Cid]

Oh and TMI, but if things are a bit reluctant, a partial enema is very handy. And as I have internal haemorrhoids that sometimes give me issues this is a life changer.
Quite WHY I have them with MY diet and low motional viscosity is a whole other question...

Yeah I don’t think this function should be underestimated... you get those days where you kind of know you should take a shit, but the body isn’t quite willing. Usually an early morning start before a long trip somewhere. Or a hike/bike ride. I can see this being useful just to get things moving.

 

[krtek a houby]

Wouldn't it be easier to just shit in the shower?

Go for it

 

[platinumsage]

Imagine you got poop on any other part of your body and just wiped it with paper until it seemed ok and then carried on

This is nonsensical and bordering on mysophobic. Your anus is not other parts of your body, it literally has poop inside it and there isn't some invisible line on it beyond which the presence of poop traces becomes unconscionable. You don't I hope go around pressing your anus on door handles, so there's no need to go scrubbing the area after every defecation with carbolic soap to sterilise it. I hope you'll agree that there is a level of contamination of the immediate area that is reasonable and non-problematic.

 

[Flavour]

This is nonsensical and bordering on mysophobic. Your anus is not other parts of your body, it literally has poop inside it and there isn't some invisible line on it beyond which the presence of poop traces becomes unconscionable. You don't I hope go around pressing your anus on door handles, so there's no need to go scrubbing the area after every defecation with carbolic soap to sterilise it. I hope you'll agree that there is a level of contamination of the immediate area that is reasonable and non-problematic.

No, you're totally wrong. Wiping your bum with paper alone is disgusting. There's literally nothing else you would clean with paper alone. You clean stuff with water, end of story. Doesn't mean you need a fancy electronic Japanese singing toilet but a simple "bum gun" (as used in Turkey, India, a much of the world) or Euro-style bidet is significantly more hygienic. Going around your whole life with winnits in your bum hair (especially valid for men, as women tend to have less bum hair) is fucking rank.

 

[platinumsage]

No, you're totally wrong. Wiping your bum with paper alone is disgusting. There's literally nothing else you would clean with paper alone. You clean stuff with water, end of story. Doesn't mean you need a fancy electronic Japanese singing toilet but a simple "bum gun" (as used in Turkey, India, a much of the world) or Euro-style bidet is significantly more hygienic. Going around your whole life with winnits in your bum hair (especially valid for men, as women tend to have less bum hair) is fucking rank.

I'm always cleaning up spills in the kitchen with paper towels. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up some spilled baked beans for example by spraying water at them and walking away.

If you did one of those fluorescent visualisations of bacterial contamination on a paper-wiped bum and a water-sprayed bum, you'd find the paper-wiped one had contamination restricted to a tiny area, whereas the water-sprayed one had it smeared over a vastly larger area despite being no cleaner in total.

 

[Artaxerxes]

Yeah I don’t think this function should be underestimated... you get those days where you kind of know you should take a shit, but the body isn’t quite willing. Usually an early morning start before a long trip somewhere. Or a hike/bike ride. I can see this being useful just to get things moving.

Travel is a bugger for corking me right up. Think I lasted a nearly a week one time I went to Japan.

 

[Cid]

I'm always cleaning up spills in the kitchen with paper towels. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up some spilled baked beans for example by spraying water at them and walking away.

If you did one of those fluorescent visualisations of bacterial contamination on a paper-wiped bum and a water-sprayed bum, you'd find the paper-wiped one had contamination restricted to a tiny area, whereas the water-sprayed one had it smeared over a vastly larger area despite being no cleaner in total.

If you smeared chocolate on a worktop, you wouldn’t wipe it up with paper. Paper is for absorbing wet things. Other things it tends to spread around.

 

[platinumsage]

If you smeared chocolate on a worktop, you wouldn’t wipe it up with paper. Paper is for absorbing wet things. Other things it tends to spread around.

Have you tried spraying water at chocolate smeared on a worktop?

The only way to get your bum properly clean is by bathing/showing where you scrub using warm soapy water. The idea you can clean it properly by a quick spray of water is a misconception. After toileting you are typically only able to clean it sufficiently so as not to cause any problems before your next bath or shower. For this purpose paper can be more effective than a water spray, and it's less likely to spread invisible contamination to areas that matter such as your clothes.

Similarly with a worktop or floor you get the worst off with a paper towel, and properly scrub it down when you get the chance. Spraying plain water is useless and makes things worse.

 

[Flavour]

I'm always cleaning up spills in the kitchen with paper towels. I can't remember the last time I cleaned up some spilled baked beans for example by spraying water at them and walking away.

If you did one of those fluorescent visualisations of bacterial contamination on a paper-wiped bum and a water-sprayed bum, you'd find the paper-wiped one had contamination restricted to a tiny area, whereas the water-sprayed one had it smeared over a vastly larger area despite being no cleaner in total.

you're assuming people just spray and go. they don't. the vast majority of the world gets their hand in there to clean it. i can guarantee the amount of bacterial contamination on a water-cleaned (not just sprayed, but physically wiped with warm water, hand and soap) is lower than a british "paper only" bum. don't delude yourself.

 

[Cid]

Have you tried spraying water at chocolate smeared on a worktop?

The only way to get your bum properly clean is by bathing/showing where you scrub using warm soapy water. The idea you can clean it properly by a quick spray of water is a misconception. After toileting you are typically only able to clean it sufficiently so as not to cause any problems before your next bath or shower. For this purpose paper can be more effective than a water spray, and it's less likely to spread invisible contamination to areas that matter such as your clothes.

Similarly with a worktop or floor you get the worst off with a paper towel, and properly scrub it down when you get the chance. Spraying plain water is useless and makes things worse.

I would wipe a work surface down with a damp cloth. Paper is never sufficient. I’m not overly concerned at the distinction as clearly I have lived the last er... x years using paper. But your argument just doesn’t stack up. Paper removes the bulk of things. So does jet washing something. Most of what I’ve read says the washing methods of bum cleaning are more effective... but as long as they are about as effective that’s fine by me. Because toilet paper comes with a lot of other issues; it complicates sewerage, it is not good for the sensitive tissues in your crack, it can cause rashes and consumes 27,000 trees. Every. Fucking. Day.

 

[dessiato]

I love Japanese toilets. I would consider one of these.

 

[platinumsage]

I would wipe a work surface down with a damp cloth. Paper is never sufficient. I’m not overly concerned at the distinction as clearly I have lived the last er... x years using paper. But your argument just doesn’t stack up. Paper removes the bulk of things. So does jet washing something. Most of what I’ve read says the washing methods of bum cleaning are more effective... but as long as they are about as effective that’s fine by me. Because toilet paper comes with a lot of other issues; it complicates sewerage, it is not good for the sensitive tissues in your crack, it can cause rashes and consumes 27,000 trees. Every. Fucking. Day.

Jet washing without disinfectant isn't used where there is a danger of contaminating surrounding areas. Improving on paper by using wet paper, cloths, shower sponges with hot water and soap etc might all be good but are often impracticable in public toilets

 

[platinumsage]

you're assuming people just spray and go. they don't. the vast majority of the world gets their hand in there to clean it. i can guarantee the amount of bacterial contamination on a water-cleaned (not just sprayed, but physically wiped with warm water, hand and soap) is lower than a british "paper only" bum. don't delude yourself.

The Japanese toilets mentioned upthread aren't intended to incorporate hand-use in the washing phase. Meanwhile disease fatalities through fecal-oral transmission would imply the vast majority of the world aren't doing very well with their toilet practices.

 

[Flavour]

The Japanese toilets mentioned upthread aren't intended to incorporate hand-use in the washing phase. Meanwhile disease fatalities through fecal-oral transmission would imply the vast majority of the world aren't doing very well with their toilet practices.

And I agree that a simple plain-water spray isn't much better than a paper wipe, though I think it is still better. In either case there's no actual cleaning agent involved, which of course requires application. Anyway I find your remark about disease through fecal-oral transmission condescending and vaguely racist. You're implying that people don't know how to wash/clean in other parts of the world. It's nonsense. The ones who don't know how to wash/clean their bums are the British. And the germs in poo are more than capable of passing through the toilet paper you use to wipe your arse so as with everywhere, better wash your hands properly after you wipe your bum or you too might partake in a little bit of fecal-oral transmission!

 

[Cid]

The Japanese toilets mentioned upthread aren't intended to incorporate hand-use in the washing phase. Meanwhile disease fatalities through fecal-oral transmission would imply the vast majority of the world aren't doing very well with their toilet practices.

Yes, but you don’t see many incidents in Japan or Korea do you? And we’re not exactly free of norovirus outbreaks here. There are a huge number of sanitation issues that cause more serious outbreaks to do with water supply, sewerage etc. Not just how you clean your arse.

Again, I’m not expecting a squeaky clean crack, it’s just the idea that wiping something only with paper is better than cleaning it with water, and using a bit of paper if needed doesn’t really stack up. paper doesn’t do a good job of removing things. Ever. Water can... and again, it just needs to be as good.

27,000 trees every day.

 

[platinumsage]

And I agree that a simple plain-water spray isn't much better than a paper wipe, though I think it is still better. In either case there's no actual cleaning agent involved, which of course requires application. Anyway I find your remark about disease through fecal-oral transmission condescending and vaguely racist. You're implying that people don't know how to wash/clean in other parts of the world. It's nonsense. The ones who don't know how to wash/clean their bums are the British. And the germs in poo are more than capable of passing through the toilet paper you use to wipe your arse so as with everywhere, better wash your hands properly after you wipe your bum or you too might partake in a little bit of fecal-oral transmission!

I didn't deny that hand-washing is important, perhaps more so than the type of anal cleansing method. However you "guaranteed" that water+hand is superior to paper only, which is evidently not true. It might be better at cleaning the specific area around the anus, but you'll never get that area remotely clean without proper bathing techniques using soap. So what actually matters is that you get the anal area sufficiently clean without contaminating a wider area i.e. the rest of the bum and other body parts, clothing etc that might be splashed, and via which diseases can then be passed on.

 

[ska invita]

Oh! And Cid i think you're prices of £380 is a little on the optimistic side

Electric Bidets

Bidet seats from Tooaleta are the ideal way to add bidet functionality to your existing toilet. We offer the best selection of bidet toilet seats and bidet toilet attachments.Requires electricity to heat the water and to enable other functions, such as, heated seat, air dryer etc.

tooaleta.co.uk

from that link

Daewon Dib C410 Basic- Electric toilet bidet seat

Treat Yourself.Experience how clean really feels:With striking similarities to its sibling, the Dib Daewon C410 is the basic version of the premier side control panel luxury bidet seat model. The DB-120 comes packed with luxury features such as the warm heated seat, pulsating and oscillating...

tooaleta.co.uk

 

[Cid]

I didn't deny that hand-washing is important, perhaps more so than the type of anal cleansing method. However you "guaranteed" that water+hand is superior to paper only, which is evidently not true. It might be better at cleaning the specific area around the anus, but you'll never get that area remotely clean without proper bathing techniques using soap. So what actually matters is that you get the anal area sufficiently clean without contaminating a wider area i.e. the rest of the bum and other body parts, clothing etc that might be splashed, and via which diseases can then be passed on.

Of course no one ever touches their clothes between wiping their bum and reaching the tap.