Bidet seats - instant Japanese style toilet

[Cid]

Yes indeed, not an avocado coloured appliance from the 80s, but a contraption to turn your throne into a fully functional arse-washing, drying and deodorising machine. I have recently blagged one free (they’re not cheap, but actually not terrible - this was about £380 iirc)... I must say I’m impressed so far.

This one is actually Korean I should add.

It just fits into standard loo seat holes... the water comes off a t junction to your cistern, also simple enough. You do need an electrical connection. I am definitely not running it off an extension for the time being because that would be dangerous and against regs.

It has 5 pressures, a self cleaning mode, both feminine and posterior sprays, a drier, a light and a heater. Water and drier temp adjustable. And you can fine tune nozzle position. Finally it has... enema mode.

I shall not fear a lack of toilet paper again.

n.b excuse pic rotation, weird thing that sometimes happens, didn’t seem worth trying to correct for this.

Spoiler

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[editor]

I love these things. Brings entertainment to the bathroom!

 

[maomao]

Careful with that extension, if you're going to die like Elvis you want to make sure you're high.

 

[cyril_smear]

but how do you dry your bum afterwards? There's nowt worse than walking around with a damp arse to the point that it gets sore.

 

[Cid]

but how do you dry your bum afterwards? There's nowt worse than walking around with a damp arse to the point that it gets sore.

It dries it for you. A gentle breeze with a choice of 3 temperatures.

 

[cyril_smear]

It dries it for you. A gentle breeze with a choice of 3 temperatures.

I wouldn't trust it. I like a good drink sometimes and things can get a little sloppy... If 3 wipes can only get it half clean how do you know a splash of water and a gentle breeze, with a choice of temperatures, can do a proper job?

 

[Cid]

I wouldn't trust it. I like a good drink sometimes and things can get a little sloppy... If 3 wipes can only get it half clean how do you know a splash of water and a gentle breeze, with a choice of temperatures, can.

I'll let you know tomorrow...

 

[cyril_smear]

I'll let you know tomorrow...

defeats the object because you will need a wipe to check on cleanliness... Sorry, I'm not sold.

 

[Duncan2]

Sounds a bit dangerous to me-the drier function could burn your arse.

 

[Cid]

Stop worrying and embrace the new.

 

[cyril_smear]

Sounds a bit dangerous to me-the drier function could burn your arse.

Also, if you go back to my last post about cleanliness, and it does burn your arse, it can't be good walking about with dried poo flakes in your bum crack... ring sting waiting to happen is this.

 

[platinumsage]

Not sure they’re as hygienic as suggested - surely the spraying water just redistributes the unmentionables over a larger area.

If I had poop on my hand I wouldn’t squirt it with a water pistol.

 

[Cid]

Not sure they’re as hygienic as suggested - surely the spraying water just redistributes the unmentionables over a larger area.

If I had poop on my hand I wouldn’t squirt it with a water pistol.

Nor would you wipe it off with paper.

 

[cupid_stunt]

I am sure teuchter would approve, as long as you have a lock on the bathroom door.

 

[cyril_smear]

Nor would you wipe it off with paper.

that's probably where i'd start.

 

[Cid]

that's probably where i'd start.

I'd just wash it off.

 

[cyril_smear]

I'd just wash it off.

you wouldn't get the bulky bits off first? Think about the logistics of it man!!! spreading poo all over the taps etc... which means more cleaning of fittings and appendages later.

 

[cyril_smear]

the worlds gone pissing mad.

 

[Cid]

you wouldn't get the bulky bits off first? Think about the logistics of it man!!! spreading poo all over the taps etc... which means more cleaning of fittings and appendages later.

I mean... Does this happen to you often?

 

[Cid]

I'll grant that I'm yet to test it with proper a proper grim one, but the science on the hygiene seems unanimous.

 

[cyril_smear]

I mean... Does this happen to you often?

Never, but I have a contingency plan, and it's not a spray from a misting bottle and blowing my hands dry.

 

[Cid]

Never, but I have a contingency plan, and it's not a spray from a misting bottle and blowing my hands dry.

Believe me, it's no misting bottle.

 

[platinumsage]

The only beneficial features i’ve found with these things are the heated seats and the on-demand sound effects to cover up your own sounds.

 

[moose]

what's the light for

 

[spanglechick]

I have a concern about the little nozzle etc being impossible to get thoroughly clean.

 

[krtek a houby]

The nozzles can be cleaned by gently pulling them out and wiping/or spraying with disinfectant.

Ours isn't a dryer, but just use a bit of bog roll to gently pat the, er, affected areas

For those of us with IBS, it's a godsend.

 

[High Voltage]

<subscribes to thread>

"holiday facilities" with a bidet make the holiday for me. I've long wanted a bidet in our "smallest room" but, alas, 'tis far too small and totally the wrong shape to accommodate anything extra

I found out about the Japanese "super loo" but the eye watering price of those knocked that idea on the head

Then gentlegreen mentioned something about a bidet seat and my curiosity was, once again, pricked

Best practice for bidet use seems to be one, or minimal, paper wipe to get the worst off then let the water do the rest

But am more than prepared to be corrected. I've found one link concerning bidet use, but is, at best, clumsily written

 

[High Voltage]

Oh! And Cid i think you're prices of £380 is a little on the optimistic side

Electric Bidets

Bidet seats from Tooaleta are the ideal way to add bidet functionality to your existing toilet. We offer the best selection of bidet toilet seats and bidet toilet attachments.Requires electricity to heat the water and to enable other functions, such as, heated seat, air dryer etc.

tooaleta.co.uk

 

[gentlegreen]

I have to admit my super-cheap one is rather lacking in jet quality, cleanability etc... and some would really not tolerate cold water up the rear... There are also dual jet ones for female-specific purposes.
I find diluted aloe vera gel to be essential to prevent tearing of the cheap bog roll - and it also permits checking....
Sometimes things may be sufficiently challenging to demand alternating with dry - though that's mainly when I'm forced to use the executive washroom at work where I will actually apply gel BEFORE sitting....

Many would demand warm water and a drying jet...But I only paid £12....

 

[Saul Goodman]

Are they CE certified?