Right
Edie since you asked about what i believe, I have no idea in all honesty whether God exists or not, there's no proof that he does or doesn't. I have had experiences I can't explain though. I think he probably does exist to be honest, there was a time in my life when I was seriously on the point of killing myself and I think that God stopped me doing it. I distinctly heard something telling me not to do it and I've never had anything like that before or since, I've had mental health problems but I don't hear voices or anything like that. In terms of what doctrines of religious theology, no fucking idea. I don't really think we are a 'chosen people' or anything like that and got no idea about heaven, hell, purgatory, reincarnation etc, I hope there is something when I die but there may not be, I think we should live like there is only one life and make the most of it. I know what I don't believe tho lol.
I don't think God is entirely good because he wasn't there when I needed him the most and for years after that I stopped believing completely. Got back into it again but not in the same way, a big reason why I do the stuff is because people died so I could do it and observing the stuff means I am honouring them. I know that sounds a bit morbid like. Another reason is because I find it comforting and I feel like it gives my life a bit of a structure and I need that, I also see doing a lot of the stuff as a challenge for example with eating etc and its helped me give a shit about eating healthily in general. All these reasons might sound a bit weird and to be honest I'm really not entirely sure about any of it, I try and be a good person and not be a cunt and that's all anyone can really do.