All of Philip Baker's crap threads compiled into one big, pointless, unfunny thread

[Philip Baker]

Why, oh why, is the Club advertising for an Events Manager, as well as a Bar Manager?

Surely, it would be an 'event' at Champion Hill if the bar manager could provide beer which is A, affordable,and B. drinkable?

 

[editor]

Why, oh why, is the Club advertising for an Events Manager, as well as a Bar Manager?

Surely, it would be an 'event' at Champion Hill if the bar manager could provide beer which is A, affordable,and B. drinkable?

By God you're tiresome.

 

[EDC]

I'd be the first to complain about the price but given just how much the local pubs have upped their prices then it's reasonable. It's also fine to drink although there's not enough variety, ie: no decent bitter but that's understandable given that current situation.

ps. Please fuck off.

 

[Philip Baker]

Sisters and honorary sisters, it has come to our attention that an unforeseen breed of male scum is seeking access to our ground.

The Ground Hopper.

These odious individuals can be identified by their large bags, anoraks, and caps with badges from many other non league grounds [ the lower the better, as they say].

Often mono sexual, and carnivores, they may also be spotted by their desire to 'try a pie', shunning our vegan recipes.

Some even return , if they fail to see a goal, or have not touched all four corner flags [ whatever they are].

Bearded, and lonely, many even look like our beloved leader Jeremy Corbyn , but don't be fooled....vigilance is essential !

 

[Pickman's model]

Often mono sexual, and carnivores, they may also be spotted by their desire to 'try a pie', shunning our vegan recipes.

aren't most people monosexual?

 

[CNT36]

Sisters and honorary sisters, it has come to our attention that an unforeseen breed of male scum is seeking access to our ground.

The Ground Hopper.

These odious individuals can be identified by their large bags, anoraks, and caps with badges from many other non league grounds [ the lower the better, as they say].

Often mono sexual, and carnivores, they may also be spotted by their desire to 'try a pie', shunning our vegan recipes.

Some even return , if they fail to see a goal, or have not touched all four corner flags [ whatever they are].

Bearded, and lonely, many even look like our beloved leader Jeremy Corbyn , but don't be fooled....vigilance is essential !

Nothing on the telly?

 

[bkbk]

weird man

 

[maomao]

aren't most people monosexual?

I think that's his point.

 

[editor]

Sisters and honorary sisters, it has come to our attention that an unforeseen breed of male scum is seeking access to our ground.

The Ground Hopper.

These odious individuals can be identified by their large bags, anoraks, and caps with badges from many other non league grounds [ the lower the better, as they say].

Often mono sexual, and carnivores, they may also be spotted by their desire to 'try a pie', shunning our vegan recipes.

Some even return , if they fail to see a goal, or have not touched all four corner flags [ whatever they are].

Bearded, and lonely, many even look like our beloved leader Jeremy Corbyn , but don't be fooled....vigilance is essential !

Let me just file this away in the usual place.

 

[Philip Baker]

Following popular demand, it has been decided to form a Dulwich Hamlet Book Club, 'Novels for Nouvelles'.

This is in order to have something of interest to do during those tedious soccer matches, prior to an evening of pontificating and 'thought policing' in the club bar.

Various titles have been been suggested, including "anything from Mills and Boon" [ thank you Sebastian], to Dennis Skinner's ' My formative Years in Soft Furnishing '.

Unfortunately we had to reject the second of these, as it was a bit of an obvious, 'Hitler's Diaries'.

No, our first book will be 'Bernard Manning', by Jonathan Margolies, [4.5 on Goodreads, 3.5 out of 5 on Amazon].

This tells the true story of a gritty working class comedian, who finally succeeds in multi cultural clubland.

Hopefully , this tome will help explain to all of us within urbane Labour Parties, how we lost the f*cking North....and just why the voters of Hartlepool are so thick.

Big print versions are available....and no moving your lips , when you read it

 

[Pickman's model]

I thought this would be a thread about food for intellectuals but it's just nuts

 

[two sheds]

Operation #pissoffthemods

 

[CNT36]

I used to be against raising the retirement age.

 

[Pickman's model]

I used to be against raising the retirement age.

Are you now in favour of vets putting people to sleep to prevent others' suffering?

 

[IC3D]

Mentally ill

 

[CNT36]

Are you now in favour of vets putting people to sleep to prevent others' suffering?

It seems the kindest thing all round.

 

[blueheaven]

I always imagine him chuckling to himself as he types these.

 

[CNT36]

Until it turns to tears as that one finger gets really bloody sore.

 

[johnny clash]

I always imagine him chuckling to himself as he types these.

"chuckling to". I've not heard it called that before.

 

[PartisanDulwich]

tiresome
Cancel Culture #yesplease

 

[tonysingh]

Mentally ill

Cuntish comment to make, even as an insult to Baker. As someone with fairly severe MH diagnoses myself, I found that comment to be more than a little bit ignorant.

 

[IC3D]

Cuntish comment to make, even as an insult to Baker. As someone with fairly severe MH diagnoses myself, I found that comment to be more than a little bit ignorant.

Had the same myself opols it upset you though.

 

[tonysingh]

Had the same myself opols it upset you though.

Apology accepted. Thank you.

 

[johnny clash]

 

[pompeydunc]

View attachment 277532

Made by Pier Pressure (Eastbourne Town FC).

 

[Philip Baker]

He's passed his Pro-licence this year, and has now left Aston Villa looking for a job as 'the boss', in a club with ambition.

Surely now its time for the Hamlet to go the extra mile and recruit one of the greatest central defenders of his time as its new manager.

True he is a bit of a diamond in the rough, and is a bit of the one for the laaadies [ allegedly].....but he is a man who commands respect in the footballing world.....and he would certainly make those n*nces at Hemel and Dartford sit up, if he was on the bench.

 

[B.I.G]

He's passed his Pro-licence this year, and has now left Aston Villa looking for a job as 'the boss', in a club with ambition.

Surely now its time for the Hamlet to go the extra mile and recruit one of the greatest central defenders of his time as its new manager.

True he is a bit of a diamond in the rough, and is a bit of the one for the laaadies [ allegedly].....but he is a man who commands respect in the footballing world.....and he would certainly make those n*nces at Hemel and Dartford sit up, if he was on the bench.

Tell us the one about how you had to run off from a game after the parents of a under 18 player with a disability took exception to your heckling of their son at a youth game.

 

[editor]

And let's just drop this latest unfunny, pointless thread in the Philip Baker lavatory.

 

[Philip Baker]

Great to see the new outside bar at Champion Hill, equipped with three large tvs.

One each for Love Island, Bake Off, and anything with Larry Grayson in it.

That should keep the Labour Party happy whilst the rest of us are watching the football

 

[Pickman's model]

A good effort

But you can do better