A list of sports I have no interest in seeing at the Olympics

[kabbes]

I’ve finally realised after many decades of life that the sports I have no interest in watching at the Olympics are the ones that last too long a time.

I do my best to keep up with everything but I don’t have time for things that take ages per match/bout/race/competitor and the whole thing takes place as a series of knock-out matches. So that rules out football, golf, tennis, hockey, dressage, a whole load of the cycle-based stuff, badminton, table-tennis etc etc. Nothing against those sports, life’s just too short.

I also can’t be arsed with the swimming because there’s way too much of it and it’s all way too similar. If a competitor can win five gold medals in one Games in your sport, you don’t have enough separation between the demands of each of your events.

 

[emanymton]

All of them.

 

[Ted Striker]

Ooo that reminds me. The velodrome hasn't started yet. The points race. Total chaos. Who's in the lead? Who's winning? Who the fuck knows?

The Madison is the real crazy one - a points race but with tag-teaming. IMO it's the greatest event in the whole Olympiad, solely because I have seen enough of them such that can actually (smugly) read a race.

 

[Ted Striker]

Just to be clear, I don't have anything against these sports in their proper place, just not at the Olympics.

I used to feel like this ("if am Olympic gold medal isn't the most desired achievement of your sport it shouldn't be in the Olympics"), but I think after a few editions I am fully embracing the 'festival of sport'

With the Golf and Tennis, the competition originally felt like how the FA Cup does nowadays (i.e. a secondary nice to have to get something after not being successful in the main events), but it's grown to have a real identity and special place in the palmares of the elites. The Mens Tennis final felt like an important piece in the mini saga of Alcaraz and Nole duking it out.

The football is a funny one, obvs it's all null and void because GB issues, but don't they restrict it to U25's or something? Either way just don't think it works and no-ones going to give it any credence as it's always a few weeks after the Euros.

Cycling is also one where they tinker with the format (smaller teams, no radios, country allegiancies) which absolutely works to spice things up, whilst still it being a key target for all riders (you get to wear a gold helmet for 4 years!)

 

[strung out]

I used to feel like this ("if am Olympic gold medal isn't the most desired achievement of your sport it shouldn't be in the Olympics"), but I think after a few editions I am fully embracing the 'festival of sport'

With the Golf and Tennis, the competition originally felt like how the FA Cup does nowadays (i.e. a secondary nice to have to get something after not being successful in the main events), but it's grown to have a real identity and special place in the palmares of the elites. The Mens Tennis final felt like an important piece in the mini saga of Alcaraz and Nole duking it out.

The football is a funny one, obvs it's all null and void because GB issues, but don't they restrict it to U25's or something? Either way just don't think it works and no-ones going to give it any credence as it's always a few weeks after the Euros.

Cycling is also one where they tinker with the format (smaller teams, no radios, country allegiancies) which absolutely works to spice things up, whilst still it being a key target for all riders (you get to wear a gold helmet for 4 years!)

Prior to 1930, the Olympic title was the de facto world championship for football, and has been an Olympic event since 1900 (1896 if you include demonstration events).

Football has an important place in the history of the Olympics which merits it continuing as an Olympic sport imo. Don’t forget as well that the games are a big deal for the women’s game, with a full place in the FIFA international calendar.

 

[trashpony]

I’ve finally realised after many decades of life that the sports I have no interest in watching at the Olympics are the ones that last too long a time.

I do my best to keep up with everything but I don’t have time for things that take ages per match/bout/race/competitor and the whole thing takes place as a series of knock-out matches. So that rules out football, golf, tennis, hockey, dressage, a whole load of the cycle-based stuff, badminton, table-tennis etc etc. Nothing against those sports, life’s just too short.

I also can’t be arsed with the swimming because there’s way too much of it and it’s all way too similar. If a competitor can win five gold medals in one Games in your sport, you don’t have enough separation between the demands of each of your events.

Can we add cycling to the list of the ‘way too many races/medals per person’.

 

[Ted Striker]

Can we add cycling to the list of the ‘way too many races/medals per person’.

Admittedly track cycling does have quite a few 'cheesypeas*' races/medals (i.e there's a 'cheese' race/medal, a 'peas' race/medal, and a 'cheesypeas' race/medal), and I'd be happy to drop the the Kirin (which is a bit silly and should be only raced in Japan for authenticity), and the number of stages required for the heats and rounds of the head-to-head sprints test the patience of even me...But I love a bit of track cycling, so it gets a pass.

And it's provided an outrageous medal table boost (in a sport GB massively and uniquely over-index on) I'm surprised more of a fuss isn't made about it tbh by other countries.

I'm sure I read years ago they were going to move it to the Winter Olympics but I don't know what came of that.

 

[WouldBe]

Cycling on ice.

 

[Richard46]

Can we add cycling to the list of the ‘way too many races/medals per person’.

Even as a cycling fan I suppose there is a case in the track context. However unlike swimming all the events are exciting and spectacular. Obviously I am biased I cannot understand why anyone would watch a swimming race.

 

[kabbes]

Swimming does seem to be like someone sat down with a blank sheet of paper and literally designed the most boring possible competition to watch.

 

[Ted Striker]

Swimming does seem to be like someone sat down with a blank sheet of paper and literally designed the most boring possible competition to watch.

I thought that about the BMX races tbh...It's so quick and condensed you can't really see any detail in real time, just who emerges from the corners upright and in the lead. Because it's so compact it's a bit like go karting where there's no real overtaking opportunity (and overtaking is as much to do with dangerous fighting for position), and you don't have more than a few seconds before you need to brake again for the next corner and pray to the crash gods.

I'd much rather see it on a circuit/track but that needs a lot of room.

 

[trashpony]

Even as a cycling fan I suppose there is a case in the track context. However unlike swimming all the events are exciting and spectacular. Obviously I am biased I cannot understand why anyone would watch a swimming race.

No, disagree. Watching people go round and round a track is dull. But then I think formula 1 is also boring. Like someone else said, I want competitions that are quick. A tennis match is about as much as I can bear time wise.

 

[kabbes]

The most pointless thing I’ve seen so far was the kayak race where four of them all go at once. Basically, it was “It’s a Knockout!” All it needed was Stuart Hall (spit) laughing maniacally in the background. As far as I could see, it was pure luck.

 

[Sue]

The most pointless thing I’ve seen so far was the kayak race where four of them all go at once. Basically, it was “It’s a Knockout!” All it needed was Stuart Hall (spit) laughing maniacally in the background. As far as I could see, it was pure luck.

Sounds like it was at least fun to watch. Which is more than you can say for loads of other events.

 

[Ted Striker]

No, disagree. Watching people go round and round a track is dull. But then I think formula 1 is also boring. Like someone else said, I want competitions that are quick. A tennis match is about as much as I can bear time wise.

There is also a huge f1-ification of track cycling with the bikes they use. Maybe not so much now, but the Team GB bike has all sorts of silly aero add ons where the R&D could have probably funded a small scale space program.

But the flywheel of our medal streak started with the famous Lotus bike that Boardman rode. It's before my prime years, and I remember Bardman was not a bad track cyclist, but without the bike he would have never have been a serious contender. The track cycling infrastructure (and pubic awareness) in the UK was incomparable to what it is now and lot of that ofc does go to Chris for starting that journey - Chris Hoy really gave birth to the realisation that there was a fuckton of medals in a low-focus event, and the bang-for-buck investment is unparalleled.

I'd say there is an argument in having the same bikes, but ofc sport exists to entertain and sell stuff, so I can't see the removal of a major marketing avenue being entertained any time soon.

Meanwhile the marquee event of the fastest athletes on the planet - the men's 100m's Olympic Final - had their numbers attached to the vest with safety pins like it's a parkrun*


(I know parkrun doesn't need numbers obvs)

 

[Lord Camomile]

The most pointless thing I’ve seen so far was the kayak race where four of them all go at once. Basically, it was “It’s a Knockout!” All it needed was Stuart Hall (spit) laughing maniacally in the background. As far as I could see, it was pure luck.

Aye, did have me wondering about where each event would fall on a luck spectrum, with that seemingly one where luck plays the biggest part.

Off the top of my head, think weightlifting might be a decent shout for least amount of luck involved. No opponent to deal with, indoor conditions (unlike the shooting/archery), very few variables at all. Just you and the weights.

 

[Boo Radley75]

There is also a huge f1-ification of track cycling with the bikes they use. Maybe not so much now, but the Team GB bike has all sorts of silly aero add ons where the R&D could have probably funded a small scale space program.

But the flywheel of our medal streak started with the famous Lotus bike that Boardman rode. It's before my prime years, and I remember Bardman was not a bad track cyclist, but without the bike he would have never have been a serious contender. The track cycling infrastructure (and pubic awareness) in the UK was incomparable to what it is now and lot of that ofc does go to Chris for starting that journey - Chris Hoy really gave birth to the realisation that there was a fuckton of medals in a low-focus event, and the bang-for-buck investment is unparalleled.

I'd say there is an argument in having the same bikes, but ofc sport exists to entertain and sell stuff, so I can't see the removal of a major marketing avenue being entertained any time soon.

Meanwhile the marquee event of the fastest athletes on the planet - the men's 100m's Olympic Final - had their numbers attached to the vest with safety pins like it's a parkrun*


(I know parkrun doesn't need numbers obvs)

A small claim to fame, I have. I've sat on that actual bike that Chris Boardman used. It's stored in a secret location where I used to work.

 

[mikaseem0]

High-quality ranting.

Good one

 

[WouldBe]

Pigeon racing.

 

[A380]

Cycling on ice.

Deffo would watch.

 

[bcuster]

i think that the "beach" volleyball is a travesty. A "game" played on a fake beach , with sand trucked in at great hydro-carbon expense, hundreds of miles from the ocean, by under-dressed, apparently self-respectless women ogled by grown men who should be ashamed of themselves...

 

[planetgeli]

Cycling on ice.

Ice speedway is a thing. Used to be on World of Sport on Saturday afternoons.

 

[Saul Goodman]

i think that the "beach" volleyball is a travesty. A "game" played on a fake beach , with sand trucked in at great hydro-carbon expense, hundreds of miles from the ocean, by under-dressed, apparently self-respectless women ogled by grown men who should be ashamed of themselves...

I didn't realise Mary Whitehouse was a member here.

 

[Ted Striker]

One thing I find slightly silly...Are the events where the competition have a fairly benign influence on your outcome, but you still have heats/semis/finals etc.

I get it, obvs with track events where you directly race against a competitor...But stuff like diving, surely you do the best you can in whatever stage of the competition, what's the point of heats/semis?

 

[belboid]

Why stop at crazy golf?

Crazy gymnastics where contestants have to bounce off a series of carefully arranged planks arranged at 45°

Crazy judo where you have to get your opponent's head in the door of a little windmill.

Crazy shotput where you have to throw it in a little hole hard enough for it to come out the other side of a fibreglass hill.

Etc.

Crazy swimming was a thing in 1900.

Well, there was a mens 200 metres obstacle swimming race. Swim, climb a pole, swim, climb over some boats, swim, swim under some boats.

 

[Happy Tree]

It's an Olympic Knockout. Hosted by Joe Lycett. I'd watch that.

 

[Lord Camomile]

One thing I find slightly silly...Are the events where the competition have a fairly benign influence on your outcome, but you still have heats/semis/finals etc.

I get it, obvs with track events where you directly race against a competitor...But stuff like diving, surely you do the best you can in whatever stage of the competition, what's the point of heats/semis?

Why does it make more sense in racing? At least until you get to the middle-distances, you're still just running as fast as you can in your particular lane, regardless of whether there's someone next to you or not.

 

[kabbes]

Why does it make more sense in racing? At least until you get to the middle-distances, you're still just running as fast as you can in your particular lane, regardless of whether there's someone next to you or not.

Different conditions in different races, though

 

[kabbes]

The most pointless sport of all in the Olympics is actually sailing, if it’s not held somewhere appropriate for sailing. Each race is always highly variable anyway, which is why they have lots of them. And then, in this Olympics they abandoned race after race, so if you were one of the competitors doing well that race then just fuck you, really. The whole thing was farcical.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Different conditions in different races, though

P'raps, but the point was about racing against competitors. Weather conditions are a separate factor (e.g. field events where you throw/jump separately, but can have varying conditions for each of those jumps).

The most pointless sport of all in the Olympics is actually sailing, if it’s not held somewhere appropriate for sailing. Each race is always highly variable anyway, which is why they have lots of them. And then, in this Olympics they abandoned race after race, so if you were one of the competitors doing well that race then just fuck you, really. The whole thing was farcical.

Aye, that's a really tricky one. Again, if you want to have a competition based around that kind of sport at all, those variables are basically going to be inherent within that sport. Does that make it inherently unsuitable as an Olympic sport?

"Somewhere suitable for sailing" (or surfing) does also create the issue of either a) drastically reducing the number of eligible host cities or b) resulting in those events often not taking place in the host city.