Worst British Filum of all time ?

[not-bono-ever]

Living doll. Yes, guess the plot.Filmed in hammersimth, set in Noo Yawk. shit. heres a still from it

 

[Sue]

I didn't critique them, I was responding to your claim that "IMO if you've seen one Danny Dyer/Nick Love film, you've seen them all", and suggesting that the evidence didn't support it.

Okay, let me rephrase that. I've seen a number of Danny Dyer/Nick Love films and they've all been shite.

 

[Frances Lengel]

It starts like a badly judged Carry On film, but without the charm and it goes down hill from there. The "jokes" are off-colour and must have even been dated at the time. There is nothing likeable or compelling about the characters. It is slow and dull. The only thing going for it is the music. And the ending is an anticlimax, if that were possible for something so dismal.

And Michael Caine's in it. The wanker.

 

[Bakunin]

Compare this:

With this (the real story of 30 Assault Unit, RM):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No._30_Commando

The film is already gut-wrenchingly atrocious. The fact that they managed to make something so utterly appalling from such wonderful source material makes the film even worse.

 

[Spanky Longhorn]

football factory introduced me to the phrase 'mugging me off'

I can't wait to see your fanny

 

[DaveCinzano]

'Charlie' - the Charles Richardson story, with Luke Goss in the lead role springs to mind..

Recently saw this, was by no means great (or even good), but the talking heads prologue hinted at how it could have been so much better. Certainly the acting talent was there and available.

 

[maya]

So bad it was good, almost.

They even have a trailer for it:



Yeah it looks pretty cheesy- but not that bad tbf, kind of on the same level as this sort of thing I reckon:



... Comes with the territory, I suppose.

 

[keybored]

They even have a trailer for it:



Yeah it looks pretty cheesy- but not that bad tbf, kind of on the same level as this sort of thing I reckon:



... Comes with the territory, I suppose.

I have it on DVD

 

[Orang Utan]

WE HAVE A NEW CONTENDER!
Neil Marshall’s Duchess. Out last week but direct to streaming
A future classic. It’s wondrously shit.
The dialogue! The woeful acting! The hilariously inept fight choreography! Sean Pertwee!
DaveCinzano put this on the top of your watchlist now! You’re gonna love it.
Neil Marshall’s homage to the work of Guy Ritchie and Nick Love. He certainly flatters them as he makes them look like sophisticated cineastes with this glorious dreck.

 

[DaveCinzano]

WE HAVE A NEW CONTENDER!
Neil Marshall’s Duchess. Out last week but direct to streaming
A future classic. It’s wondrously shit.
The dialogue! The woeful acting! The hilariously inept fight choreography! Sean Pertwee!
DaveCinzano put this on the top of your watchlist now! You’re gonna love it.
Neil Marshall’s homage to the work of Guy Ritchie and Nick Love. He certainly flatters them as he makes them look like sophisticated cineastes with this glorious dreck.

Cast
Charlotte Kirk, Sean Pertwee, Colm Meaney, Stephanie Beacham, Philip Winchester

I'm IN

 

[krtek a houby]

Morons from Outer Space

 

[Orang Utan]

I'm IN

even the poster is a mess - someone powerful but idiotic made a designer do that, cos surely no self-respecting professional would do that of their own accord.
Or perhaps it’s a sly comment on the objectification of women

 

[DJWrongspeed]

For some reason the first thing that came to mind was Michael Winner's remake of The Wicked Lady.

Parting Shots perhaps?

Great thread resurrection. It has opened up for me unknown vectors of British terribleness !

 

[Kaka Tim]

Havig watched Love Actualy in the years that this thread's been dormant - Im changing my nomination from "shakespere in love" to Richard Curtis's turgid, offensive, cliched cloying dish of diarrhea.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Living doll. Yes, guess the plot.Filmed in hammersimth, set in Noo Yawk. shit. heres a still from it

The film Weekend At Bernie's could have been if they'd really made the effort

 

[DaveCinzano]

Dead Man Running

It's a gangster film with 50 Cent, Danny Dyer, Rio Ferdinand and Ashley Cole. Those people coming together in one space sounds mental to me, never mind them making a film.

Would love to see it.

It's really not that bad. I mean, it's really not good, just not the worst thing ever.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Look no further

Jonathan Sothcott | Producer, Writer, Casting Director

Known for: Knightfall, Werewolf Hunt, Doctor Plague

www.imdb.com

Simon Phillips | Actor, Producer, Writer

Known for: Survive the Game, The Witcher, FUBAR

www.imdb.com

 

[Sue]

Havig watched Love Actualy in the years that this thread's been dormant - Im changing my nomination from "shakespere in love" to Richard Curtis's turgid, offensive, cliched cloying dish of diarrhea.

Tbf, there's a lot of competition from othrr Curtis films though yes, LA is fucking awful.