When is it time to put my cat down

[Ax^]

ah feel for you Polly

one of my sister cats phoebe who lives at the mothers was taken to the vet yesterday

she is 18 and has been off her food for a week after a lifetime of never being sick once

vet gave her some fluids but said well if she does not get better bring her back and we will put her down

its very hard with cats to know how bad they are really suffering

 

[polly]

I'm hoping that's a non-sarcastic response and that I haven't dropped a clanger - I'm kind of a natural pessimist so it's helpful for me. A natural optimist might find it an awful thought.

No way, sorry - not sarcastic at all. It's exactly what I would want for myself or anyone I love. (Probably a natural pessimist too. Husband is natural optimist and struggling a bit to see this POV.)

 

[8ball]

I had real problems letting my first cat go - we were best friends.
Her name was Polly, as it happens.

 

[polly]

I'm really sorry to hear that Ax^ - that's going to be a huge loss for her But 18 years and not sick once is a bloody good life <3

 

[Ax^]

the other sister has her brother marlow and he is still being a big old tomcat full of life atm so

aye


also putting down a pet is one of the hardest things to do btw so how every you feel about polly is alright

have a uncle who wanted to be strong and stay with his pet first time it happen whilst the injection was given

he left the room in an manly way defo not crying his heart out

 

[StoneRoad]

In what must be a very difficult situation, I wish you all the best polly

With my last cat (Hilli) I might have left it just a little too long, but I know it is a very hard decision to make.
Maybe a day too soon is really better than a day late ...
Definitely spoil her rotten for a day or two and when the time comes (half-term?) see if the vet will come out.

 

[Epona]

I am NOT in any way telling other people what they should do here (everyone is different), but personally I cannot imagine not being with any of mine at the end if they go due to intervention (which lets face it is more usual than the passing away peacefully in their sleep at a very old age without being ill that we'd all wish would happen for them). If I couldn't hold them at the last I'd be even more devastated. It's really quick, almost shockingly so.

 

[aqua]

When I had my old boy pts I asked the vet what would they do if it was their cat. They'd been really clear with me that they couldn't make the decision for me but I wanted their view. We did tests because they wanted to be clear what was going on, then as the results came back they left the choice to me. So I asked them, if this was your cat with this diagnosis/situation what would you do. And they said at this point I'd put them to sleep. And that was basically on the a day early is better than a day late. I flew home on a train and drove to the vets to be with him.

It'll never feel right. How could it, they're your mate.

 

[Epona]

When I had my old boy pts I asked the vet what would they do if it was their cat. They'd been really clear with me that they couldn't make the decision for me but I wanted their view. We did tests because they wanted to be clear what was going on, then as the results came back they left the choice to me. So I asked them, if this was your cat with this diagnosis/situation what would you do. And they said at this point I'd put them to sleep. And that was basically on the a day early is better than a day late. I flew home on a train and drove to the vets to be with him.

It'll never feel right. How could it, they're your mate.

The "love" response that I gave looks way too joyful for such a sorrowful topic, but it is meant as love to you for such great advice and to your old boy who you let go with dignity and love.

 

[polly]

We need a new love reaction. That dickhead is way too cheerful.

 

[polly]

But yes, I will always be there with my cats when they are put down, for their sake as much as mine. It is too heartbreaking to think of them going through that with only strangers.

 

[two sheds]

Presume it's different for all pets, I had my dog put to sleep and I'd been concerned about when to do it but it was clear when the time came. I got a second opinion from a vet who I knew did home visits. I'd been having to carry dog's back legs when she went out for a few days, and the Thursday night my dog just lost interest, I'd pick her up and she didn't want to bother walking or eating (first time ever). Friday she just lay there, I contacted the vet who (bless her) came out next day. Was very comforting to be with her there at the end, which was peaceful.

 

[Epona]

Something I feel bad about is that I left Radey in the hospital overnight for observation - I knew it looked really really bad and I rushed him to the out of hours hospital - and left him there for tests and until OH could be around (he was at work when the first seizure happened - we didn't know it was a seizure at the time, I thought it was a stroke which cats can have decent recovery from).

It was important to OH that a) he had some tests to see whether it was something that he could recover from and b) that OH could be there to be part of any decisions and to say goodbye if it was bad news.

This was an in-hindsight "day too late" situation, our little love spent his last 24 hours very confused and with some neurological damage in a hospital cage. If we'd both been home on the Monday night when it all happened I think we'd have taken him in and made the decision a day earlier. I knew it was important to OH to be able to say goodbye though, to what was fundamentally his cat. I think if it had been one of the others (which are fundamentally my cats) I probably would have made a decision on that night rather than postpone it.

 

[Epona]

Presume it's different for all pets, I had my dog put to sleep and I'd been concerned about when to do it but it was clear when the time came. I got a second opinion from a vet who I knew did home visits. I'd been having to carry dog's back legs when she went out for a few days, and the Thursday night my dog just lost interest, I'd pick her up and she didn't want to bother walking or eating (first time ever). Friday she just lay there, I contacted the vet who (bless her) came out next day. Was very comforting to be with her there at the end, which was peaceful.

This was fairly recent iirc, I am sorry for your loss and I am glad you found comfort from being with her in her last moments.

BTW this thread has brought up a whole load of stuff for me, been bawling my eyes out for the last couple of hours - which is fine btw, shit happens sometimes with grief bubbling up and that is normal and cathartic to have a bit of a cry - I hope I haven't posted anything that has been without value to the situation and if we all who understand it can support one another through stuff like this then good times. The grief does come with happier memories too after a while Love you all

 

[oryx]

I don't know the answer polly apart from taking her to the vets about the sudden onset of being sick, but just to say as a fellow cat-owner that I'm really sorry you're in this position.

 

[equationgirl]

How has she been today polly?

 

[polly]

How has she been today polly?

The same really, thanks for asking love. Not well. She's eating and drinking, and being affectionate, but it's pretty clear that she's not feeling good Her face is sad. I'm going to call the vet tomorrow.

 

[equationgirl]

Much love to you polly

 

[Epona]

Love to you and your family xx

 

[Epona]

I just want to add that I love how much you care about her and love her - starting this thread must have been difficult and I know thinking about it is difficult. We're all here with you.

 

[polly]

I just want to add that I love how much you care about her and love her - starting this thread must have been difficult and I know thinking about it is difficult. We're all here with you.

What a kind thing to say. Thank you so much. I appreciate everyone's posts on her so much, because really the answer could be 'only you know that', but you're all so thoughtful and lovely. It's really helped.

And I was working yesterday but my mind came back to your post about this bringing up sad memories for you and I wanted to say I'm so sorry about that x

I've been trying to comfort my 11 yo by saying that it's a pure expression of love to have your pet put to sleep when you desperately want to keep them around, because you know it's the best thing for them. So I'm telling myself that too.

Oof. We will all go and get another pet and do this all over again, won't we?

 

[Red Cat]

The same really, thanks for asking love. Not well. She's eating and drinking, and being affectionate, but it's pretty clear that she's not feeling good Her face is sad. I'm going to call the vet tomorrow.

Poor puss cat. So sad for you and the children.

 

[Red Cat]

What a kind thing to say. Thank you so much. I appreciate everyone's posts on her so much, because really the answer could be 'only you know that', but you're all so thoughtful and lovely. It's really helped.

And I was working yesterday but my mind came back to your post about this bringing up sad memories for you and I wanted to say I'm so sorry about that x

I've been trying to comfort my 11 yo by saying that it's a pure expression of love to have your pet put to sleep when you desperately want to keep them around, because you know it's the best thing for them. So I'm telling myself that too.

Oof. We will all go and get another pet and do this all over again, won't we?

This is true. My 10 year old struggled with this though, vets are supposed to make animals better. It's really hard.

 

[bimble]

Really feel for you polly.
I've not had to deal with this yet but its there in the future an inevitability (cat is my first cat and he is well but he's not young). You are navigating a hard thing with love and grace x

 

[polly]

This is true. My 10 year old struggled with this though, vets are supposed to make animals better. It's really hard.

I'm sorry It is difficult with children - my 9 yo has misinterpreted 'put to sleep' so I've had to say, well no, it's not that

On the other hand, their grief takes over from your own a bit, I have found.

 

[polly]

Really feel for you polly.
I've not had to deal with this yet but its there in the future an inevitability (cat is my first cat and he is well but he's not young). You are navigating a hard thing with love and grace x

You are all the best

I recommend coming and posting here when the time comes. I hope it's not soon x

 

[seeformiles]

The vet will hopefully level with you as to what is kindest. When our Buttons was given a bad diagnosis on a Monday the vet said to bring her back on the Saturday knowing full well she wasn’t going to get better but giving us the opportunity to spoil her rotten. Buttons spent the entire week in our company and enjoyed unhealthy food and affection until the fateful day when I took her back to the vet and cuddled and whispered to her as they did what had to be done and she faded away in my arms. Painful as hell but the last great duty we owe all our pets. Good luck.

 

[sojourner]

Painful as hell but the last great duty we owe all our pets. Good luck.

100% this. It's what got me through, affording her her last dignity. Lots of love to you polly x

 

[polly]

The vet will hopefully level with you as to what is kindest. When our Buttons was given a bad diagnosis on a Monday the vet said to bring her back on the Saturday knowing full well she wasn’t going to get better but giving us the opportunity to spoil her rotten. Buttons spent the entire week in our company and enjoyed unhealthy food and affection until the fateful day when I took her back to the vet and cuddled and whispered to her as they did what had to be done and she faded away in my arms. Painful as hell but the last great duty we owe all our pets. Good luck.

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. It sounds like the best, most gentle end (and, I'm sure, the life she had with you too) a cat could hope for, but so sad. Thank you x

 

[seeformiles]

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this. It sounds like the best, most gentle end (and, I'm sure, the life she had with you too) a cat could hope for, but so sad. Thank you x

We had the pleasure of Buttons’ company for 17 years (she came to us as a pregnant stray) so it was deeply shocking to lose her. Afterwards we said “Never again!” but 2 months later took in the two mischievous brothers who’ve been with us for the last 5 years. Testament to Buttons character that it took 2 cats to fill the void and she’s never forgotten as her ashes are on the mantelpiece and her portrait hangs in the front room.