When is it time to put my cat down

[polly]

My beloved cat Oshawott is only 8 but she was, we assume, the runt of a litter who got rejected by her mum. Wonky eye, no internal reproductive bits etc. So we never expected her to make old bones.

In July, we woke up to find that she'd lost the use of her back legs. They were cold to the touch and she was crying. A friend's cat had had this saddle thrombosis thing so I knew that was probably it, rushed her to the vet expecting the worst. It was that. She has a (previously undiagnosed) heart murmur so the blood isn't getting round fast enough and that causes it to clot.

Anyway she defied all expectations and pulled through, but they warned me she might go at any time in the next few weeks. I had some little vials of opiates for that first episode, which they wanted back, but I kept.

Since then she has had four more episodes, but each time I've given her the opiates and she's quickly recovered. They are getting worse though. The last time it happened she lost control of her bladder and bowels

These past few weeks she has not been herself at all. She's still very affectionate and even plays a bit, but she's much more withdrawn.

Today she has been sick, twice. She's never sick. So she's obviously nearing the end. But I really don't know how to make the call when to put her down She is obviously pretty tough and has some quality of life. But she could be suffering more than I know. How do you know when it's time??

 

[8ball]

(((polly)))

Is she on aspirin to hopefully reduce attack frequency (I've no idea if that would even work with this type of thrombosis)?

 

[polly]

(((polly)))

Is she on aspirin to hopefully reduce attack frequency (I've no idea if that would even work with this type of thrombosis)?

You're very good. Yes, she's on half a pill a day.

 

[sleaterkinney]

Maybe give her a peaceful time going?

 

[polly]

Picture of the dumbarse, for attention

 

[sojourner]

If she's suddenly becoming withdrawn, I'd say that's a big sign. I didn't think cats displayed pain, but when my old lady had cancer, there was a day where her eyes definitely showed pain. I took her as soon I could then

 

[A380]

So sad to hear this. Can you ask your vet for her/his opinion on how much Oshawatt is hurting and suffering? Sadly in the end it’s down to you. You have my sympathy at this really horrible time.

 

[polly]

Maybe give her a peaceful time going?

Do you mean do it soon, while she is still relatively well? I'm inclined to agree but can't quite do it Need to be a bit less selfish maybe

 

[polly]

So sad to hear this. Can you ask your vet for her/his opinion on how much Oshawatt is hurting and suffering? Sadly in the end it’s down to you. You have my sympathy at this really horrible time.

Thank you. The heart reaction is inappropriately happy sometimes but thanks.

 

[polly]

If she's suddenly becoming withdrawn, I'd say that's a big sign. I didn't think cats displayed pain, but when my old lady had cancer, there was a day where her eyes definitely showed pain. I took her as soon I could then

Sorry to hear this soj Ok I'll take that on board. X

 

[sojourner]

Oh, and mine was a runt - they definitely have a less robust system. It's your call love, but it's soon, eh? x

 

[Numbers]

Picture of the dumbarse, for attention

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She’s lovey polly and has probably had a great life with you.

Like sojourner I just knew one day when it was time to let my cats go, as much as I didn’t want to. For each of them when it happened (1.5 years apart) I spent the cpl of days before just spoiling them with all their fav treats etc.

Very sad losing a pet pal.

 

[Numbers]

Our vet (Goddard’s) cremate them and sprinkle their ashes in a rose/flower garden - this gives me comfort.

 

[Pickman's model]

How do you know when it's time??

when it seems less painful than continued living. it's a devil of a thing to do but when the time comes you'll know it.

 

[polly]

She’s lovey polly and has probably had a great life with you.

Like sojourner I just knew one day when it was time to let my cats go, as much as I didn’t want to. For each of them when it happened (1.5 years apart) I spent the cpl of days before just spoiling them with all their fav treats etc.

Very sad losing a pet pal.

Thanks so much. I think she has had a bloody great life. And yeah these last few months we have given her all the love and dreamies possible.

You all say I'll know when it's time, so I guess that means it's not time yet?? Fuck's sake, this is so hard. I've always known with our other cats.

 

[sojourner]

Thanks so much. I think she has had a bloody great life. And yeah these last few months we have given her all the love and dreamies possible.

You all say I'll know when it's time, so I guess that means it's not time yet?? Fuck's sake, this is so hard. I've always known with our other cats.

It is really hard, I totally sympathise. Much love to you and your lil mog x

 

[Chilli.s]

A very hard decision to make. Have confidence that you are doing the right thing. She looks a lovely cat and I'm sure you have given her the best life

 

[Aladdin]

It's really hard letting go of a beloved pet.
I dont know how to advise...
It's so personal.

((((((polly))))))

 

[polly]

Thanks very much everyone. Writing this and reading your advice has helped me to think clearly about it all. I don't want the end to be agony for her or to leave it too late, so that the last bit of her life is just pain and discomfort for her. Next week is half term so I might make the appointment for some time then, so me and the kids don't have to do anything but sit about and cry.

xx

 

[Puddy_Tat]

sorry to hear this

may be worth asking if your vets' will visit for this - less stressful for kitty than being shoved in box and taken to a strange place.

although i gather vets are short of staff at the moment as well as any possible covid issues, so they may not be able to

(((( Oshawott ))))

(((( polly and family ))))

 

[weltweit]

When my cat was suffering old age and kidney failure our vet said I would know when was the right time to bring her in. She did withdraw into herself quite a bit but I couldn't detect that she was in any pain. Eventually she stayed hunched up under an armchair for hours without moving and I figured the time had come.

When I got to the vets he said he was surprised I hadn't come sooner. How was I to know?

The actual process of popping the injection in was mercilessly quick and pain free as far as I could tell.

I buried her in one of her favourite spots in the garden.

 

[Epona]

(((polly )))

Sorry to hear that your cat is not doing well. Everyone says "you'll know when it's time" but I don't believe that is always the case - you live with your cat every day and a gradual decline I think can easily get to a point where others with a more detached view seeing the cat more occasionally may see the situation as more dire - I don't know whether that makes any sense.

No-one can make the decision for you, and it is such a merciful thing that we can do for them and also such a massive responsibility.

If it helps to talk it through then good, I am glad that is able to help. You've given her a lovely life but that doesn't make the weight of the decision any lighter or the grief any easier to bear.

We are here for you if you need us - most of us who have ever loved an animal have been through it, so please lean on us if you need to. xx

 

[8ball]

I know I'd have real trouble letting go.

 

[moose]

I don't know about your vet, but ours is still only doing carpark drop off, so you can't be with your animal at the end. I don't know if you would want to be, but if so, they might come to your house, I guess.

There's no easy way to decide when - when our old cat was getting weary and thin and being kept alive by tablets, I dithered about it a lot, but then my hand was forced when his back end collapsed. The vet, even then, wouldn't make the decision for me, saying I could take him home with new medication to try if we really wanted to, so we made the choice there and then.

It does feel like your cat's time is soon, so maybe your half-term plan is a good one. No vet will put her to sleep if they don't think it's the right thing to do. Hope you and the family get through it ok. x

 

[Epona]

I don't know about your vet, but ours is still only doing carpark drop off, so you can't be with your animal at the end. I don't know if you would want to be, but if so, they might come to your house, I guess.

There's no easy way to decide when - when our old cat was getting weary and thin and being kept alive by tablets, I dithered about it a lot, but then my hand was forced when his back end collapsed. The vet, even then, wouldn't make the decision for me, saying I could take him home with new medication to try if we really wanted to, so we made the choice there and then.

It does feel like your cat's time is soon, so maybe your half-term plan is a good one. No vet will put her to sleep if they don't think it's the right thing to do. Hope you and the family get through it ok. x

Ours have been doing face to face appointments since the summer, so the OP should definitely check with their vet.

When Radar's end came, even though it was a really dire emergency situation the vet wouldn't say what we should or shouldn't do - he explained the clinical findings and prognosis but wouldn't be drawn on what our decision should be, I knew what the only possible outcome was (it wasn't even feasible to take him home for a last couple of days with us) but it was me who had to explain it to OH (who hadn't been present when I'd rushed to the vet the night before and seen the state he was in)

But yeah, the vet would not say one way or the other what we should do, just presented us with the (extremely limited) options and there was only one where clearly he wasn't going to suffer. I still cry about it. One of the worst days of my life.

 

[felixthecat]

When I had to say goodbye to Frank (at age 22) I think I left it too long. She had dementia and wasn't a happy girl for the last 4-6 months. She deteriorated really quickly in the end but I still felt guilty for making the decision for her to go.

Tbf there's never a good time to do it (((((polly and Oshawott)))))

 

[polly]

Sorry to hear that your cat is not doing well. Everyone says "you'll know when it's time" but I don't believe that is always the case - you live with your cat every day and a gradual decline I think can easily get to a point where others with a more detached view seeing the cat more occasionally may see the situation as more dire - I don't know whether that makes any sense.

This is absolutely spot on, thank you. It was my mum coming over and seeing her on a good day and still crying about her decline that really opened my eyes to how ill she is.

Thanks moose - I will look at that. So far I've only been able to take her to the door but I think I've seen an email saying they're seeing people again. So another reason for getting it done soon, before covid kicks off again

 

[8ball]

I think it helps to think that if you were really, really ill and it was undoubtedly terminal, would you sooner go a day early or a day late.

 

[polly]

I think it helps to think that if you were really, really ill and it was undoubtedly terminal, would you sooner go a day early or a day late.

That's a fucking GREAT way of thinking about it. Thanks.

 

[8ball]

That's a fucking GREAT way of thinking about it. Thanks.

I'm hoping that's a non-sarcastic response and that I haven't dropped a clanger - I'm kind of a natural pessimist so it's helpful for me. A natural optimist might find it an awful thought.