Welsh Family Values

[William of Walworth]

AKA obsession?

Can I ask for some help off Welsh posters, whether they're still living in Wales or not?

What is it with so many Welsh people/colleagues/in-street and in-pub randoms around here (SA area) and their (apparant) utter obsession with families families families, children, children children, and with all 37 of their immediate relatives living withing fifteen minutes drive of where they live???? (that's empirical perception)

Check local news on the half hour on BBC breakfast, and so often the lead story on the Welsh news is child and family related, more so, definitely, than the national part of that programme. Aslso, if you must, check the Swansea Evening Post if you can do so without being violently sick .... (that's media reflection)

This really, really isn't intended to be a thread about the merits and demerits as such of having children. Nor is this intended as an anti-Welsh thread, because I'm fully conscious that I'm a recent incomer (in 2008), formerly living for at least 25 years in London, with a whole lot still to get used to.

(Although prior to my London years I was brought up for 17 years in N Wales, as well And Debbie's been here for well over 20 years).

Also I'm well aware that there must surely be some (less urban?) parts of England and elsewhere whose family values are similar ...

But both Debbie and I (cat-carers of 4, very much non-parents (leave it at that, eh ), with not a single one of our very few relatives living within 60 miles), do at times feel like weirdo freaks here for not being remotely interested in peoples' seemingly constant chatter about families and relatives and children.

In fact we feel like we're a nutty cultish minority in Swansea City centre sometimes ... and at BOTH of our work places, the chat about peoples relatives/children is constant at times ... thank heaven for CAMRA-cult based friends, many of whom have lifestyles similar to ours.

We're much in the minority though, and not just for not being lager-swillers ...

Help this recent immigrant understand folks! Am I misunderstanding or exaggerating? Is Wales, or this part of Wales, really so family dominated as it looks to me? Ta ....

 

[trampie]

We are tied to our mothers apron strings, that is why you don't find many large Welsh communities abroad like the Irish and Italians, we love our mammies and daddies and nans and grandpa's, haven't the Welsh got lots of surnames the same ?, the Welsh are a socially caring sharing type people, Welsh Laws hundreds of years ago in medieval times gave rights to women that others didn't have until recently, the Welsh would divide their land up after the death of the head of a family, elsewhere they would give it to the eldest son only, the question is, not why are the Welsh so family orientated but why isn't everyone else ?

 

[wayward bob]

most local news (except in london, because of the larger/more mobile population) is more dominated by "smaller" stories, therefore more likely to be "child and family related" (whatever that means i don't watch telly news).

and living in a city that has a relatively strong local educational/employment opportunities means that adult children are less likely to move away than small towns/villages where you get a mix of people going into the family business and people getting the hell out of there as soon as they're physically/financially able.

and yes welsh families are often focussed around matriarchal figures. and i agree with "socially caring sharing type people" maybe that's cos their mams brought em up right

maybe swansea is a particular case? it's where mr b's mum comes from and yes, most of her family still live there and she's the "weird one" because she moved 50 miles away, but she would still visit most weeks and when her kids moved 100 miles away she would still visit as often as she was able. i had a bit of a fight on my hands to help cut those apron strings when we first met. it was utterly bizarre from my perspective (family spread around europe, not massively keen on weddings so few opportunities to all get together).

also physical mobility must be different between different socio-economic groups: "working class" families im(limited)e tend to be less physically mobile than "middle class" families because e.g. mc kids often move a long way for university, which gives them a greater exposure to the opportunities available elsewhere and in turn gives them access to higher paying jobs which are more incentive to uproot than lower paying jobs.

i've no idea how the socio-economic status of welsh cities differs from those in different parts of britain, but swansea always struck me as more working class than cardiff for example, but maybe that's because the only bits i've really seen are in a particular area.

but also remember you've moved from a massive city to a small one. i don't know if it's still usual/common for people to move out of london when they've had kids, but certainly having a large and mixed social circle *very few of whom* have kids is much more likely in london than in any smaller town imho. and when people have kids they're unsurprisingly likely to talk about them cos they're pretty all-consuming and tend to reduce your opportunities to have spare time interests/activities that don't involve them.

 

[_angel_]

It's not confined to Wales. On these estates people live on the same street as their mums, sisters, dads etc.
Now I come to think about it most of my in laws family live within the same square mile elsewhere in Yorkshire.
London is the unusual case.

 

[Santino]

We are tied to our mothers apron strings, that is why you don't find many large Welsh communities abroad like the Irish and Italians, we love our mammies and daddies and nans and grandpa's, haven't the Welsh got lots of surnames the same ?, the Welsh are a socially caring sharing type people, Welsh Laws hundreds of years ago in medieval times gave rights to women that others didn't have until recently, the Welsh would divide their land up after the death of the head of a family, elsewhere they would give it to the eldest son only, the question is, not why are the Welsh so family orientated but why isn't everyone else ?

Yeah, Italians don't think much of their mums. They're renowned for it.

 

[butchersapron]

And the jews, eh trampie?

 

[harpo]

It's not confined to Wales. On these estates people live on the same street as their mums, sisters, dads etc.
Now I come to think about it most of my in laws family live within the same square mile elsewhere in Yorkshire.
London is the unusual case.

That also happens a lot in Liverpool.

 

[Firky]

Keep it Welsh. Keep the blood pure.

It's not confined to Wales. On these estates people live on the same street as their mums, sisters, dads etc.
Now I come to think about it most of my in laws family live within the same square mile elsewhere in Yorkshire.
London is the unusual case.

That's the case in parts of Newcastle and most pit towns and villages around here.

London is a country unto it's self, never stays the same for more than a generation.

 

[DotCommunist]

We are tied to our mothers apron strings, that is why you don't find many large Welsh communities abroad like the Irish and Italians, we love our mammies and daddies and nans and grandpa's, haven't the Welsh got lots of surnames the same ?, the Welsh are a socially caring sharing type people, Welsh Laws hundreds of years ago in medieval times gave rights to women that others didn't have until recently, the Welsh would divide their land up after the death of the head of a family, elsewhere they would give it to the eldest son only, the question is, not why are the Welsh so family orientated but why isn't everyone else ?

Is it cos the rest of us are gentically tories whereas when the doctor slaps a welsh newborn it starts wailing the internationale?

 

[8ball]

I think this a lot to do with leaving London (where a lot of people live until they want kids, then move away), rather than Wales.

Not even so much London, just that the further you get from the centre of a large city, the more people you will find who have lived there a long time, are more tied into the community, have relatives nearby etc.

I say that as a Welsh person living in Nottingham, btw.

 

[Firky]

Probably your age as much as anything, I am almost thirty (lol) and a lot of people went to school with or are friends with seem to be getting married recently. In a few years time they'll be popping out bairns too.

It makes me really notice it when ordinarily I don't think I would, or really give it much thought.

 

[Orang Utan]

You must be a bit of a weirdo to be so demonstrably uninterested in other people's lives

 

[8ball]

You must be a bit of a weirdo to be so demonstrably uninterested in other people's lives

That seems a bit uncalled for.

 

[wayward bob]

he's very specifically uninterested in their children, apparently.

i think he has to get over the fact that just because they may have made one lifestyle choice they shouldn't be surprised that others (the majority) haven't made the same choice.

(btw i'm not reading inability to have children in his post, which would understandably make such reminders difficult)

 

[Orang Utan]

That seems a bit uncalled for.

I was answering his question.

 

[8ball]

I was answering his question.

Hmm - always hard to read tone when it's just text, but it seemed like you were happy to cast the first stone when you're hardly without your own eccentricities.

I left Wales to go to University, and I did find it kind of stifling the way everyone knows everything about everybody, but put it down to a city/non-city thing rather than anything to do with Wales. It's 20 years now since I left and a bunch of peeps from school are holding a big party and have tracked me down via my sister (who went away for Uni but like most went back and lives within a couple of miles of my parents and her husband's parents). Not sure whether I want to go...

 

[geminisnake]

I am not welsh, nor have I ever lived there but I kinda get what William is on about from my various visits to Wales and from speaking to son about his stay there. And you don't seem to get a lot of welsh expats in mine & hubby's experience and he worked in the building trade(which is full of all sorts) for years. We have had chats about it before.
The welsh do seem to be more content to stay within their local area and are more close knit. As to whether this is a good thing or bad depends on the person I guess.
Me, I don't see my extended family from one year to the next and tbh it's what I'm used to, seems to be kinda traditional at least on my dads side.

Maybe it's got something to do with geography, this is what we've wondered before. Travelling before cars must have been a nightmare between the valleys.

 

[wayward bob]

we do have cars now tho gem and most of wales isn't the valleys. i've heard you have a few hills up your way too

 

[Threshers_Flail]

I'm Welsh and I don't get to see hardly any of my extended family for months on end, although I do live in the bustling metropolis of Cardiff so that might be why. Also, the most tight knit family I have ever come across is my friends from London, and tbh I'm quite jealous of what she's got, proper "if Carlsberg did families" thing going on.

 

[Orang Utan]

Hmm - always hard to read tone when it's just text, but it seemed like you were happy to cast the first stone when you're hardly without your own eccentricities.
.

WoW said he felt like a weirdo for being uninterested in the things friends get up to, like having families.
How could friends passing on their gene not be interesting? It seems a shame that talking about the their families seems to be dismissed as chatter. More than a little puzzling.

 

[8ball]

WoW said he felt like a weirdo for being uninterested in the things friends get up to, like having families.
How could friends passing on their gene not be interesting? It seems a shame that talking about the their families seems to be dismissed as chatter. More than a little puzzling.

Some people aren't that interested in the spawning habits of others and the resultant minutiae.
I don't think WoW was talking about close friends and family members - more like work colleagues etc.

 

[_angel_]

That also happens a lot in Liverpool.

That's because it's normal behaviour. Middle class migration for work/ university is less normal in other parts of the country (not saying it doesn't still happen).

 

[Clair De Lune]

People talk about people they love SHOCKER.
Stupid thread, tinged with prejudice. Start a thread about cockney cats ffs.

 

[8ball]

WoW - you have incurred the breeders' wrath and are condemned to a hairshirt for the rest of the year.

 

[davesgcr]

Don't know - migration from Wales for economic reasons was endemic in the 1920 /1930 era "not dead , moved to Slough headstones for example) - born outside Swansea of "immigrant" stock (England and Holland in the 19thC) - not lived there since 1979 , and like Dylan Thomas love the idea of Wales but feel suffocated by "localism" - somewhere like London can give independant freedom and a "happy doing what you alone want in the crowd" , which you cant escape in West Wales.

I feel what you are getting at , but in some places , people would welcome this.

Seems not so intense in 1930's suburban St Albans , but family interests are less intense (due to migration etc - from all over the UK) , but strong enough. (such that many conversations are related to this topic)

 

[wayward bob]

@8ball i was fucking waiting or that word to turn up. prick

 

[8ball]

@8ball i was fucking waiting or that word to turn up. prick

<dons hairshirt too>

 

[wayward bob]

kindly cock off in it

 

[Santino]

I'm London born and bred and I'm posting this from my mum's house.

 

[8ball]

kindly cock off in it

As a non-breeder am I allowed to take offence at being told to go forth and multiply?