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Tulse Hill news, chitter chatter and gossip

If you want good Nepalese like Saffron used to do a few years ago, try Curry Leaves in Clapham Junction. Whether they deliver to Tulse Hill though, i couldnt be sure.
 
AK Chicken! I’ve just showed up looking for a cheesy chip. It looks fairly wrecked. The windows are blackened, the shutter is at a 45° angle, but most striking, it’s closed at 11 o’clock. First the Primark in Belfast and now this.


For the first time in my life, I’m in the place opposite!

Not my first choice, but any port in a storm.
AK’s magnum burger was the end of a few good nights for me. I appreciate that eating the chicken was playing Russian roulette with your weekend but it’s that frisson of danger that makes life so exiting. Putting a hash brown in a chicken burger with a fake cheese slice is the work of genius. Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations, AK Chicken’s Magnum Burger.

I also arrived myself in the place opposite, London Pizza, for the first time on Friday night. I left thinking every member of staff I came into contact with was a penis.

I get that in a late night kebab shop most of your customers are hammered so you develop a thick skin and have to talk to people a few times to establish the standard question/answer discourse. However to talk to everyone in ‘simple speak’ like a five year old, without establishing that they are in fact powerfully sober, in a condescending manner whilst grinning at you like a madman, has the power to really fuck you off.

I might posit that it’s your career choice , but then I get that many people working there haven’t been handed the most workplace opportunities in life. Still, if you want to make money then don’t operate a three way tag team of dick moves.

Person number one talked down to me like I was paraletic whilst grinning at me like it was 3am in Manchester in the late 80s. You don’t need to assert superiority over me to control the conversation, I just want a burger and chips. Person number two managed to talk at me whilst looking in the wrong direction (at no one). I’m not being precious (maybe a bit) but I had to wait for him to turn to me to check it actually was me he was demanding an answer about mayonnaise from. Person number three gave very short shrift to the equally sober lady next to me at the counter who attempted a joke about him wearing wearing a coat indoors (“I’m a delivery driver, yeah?”).

The burger was shit and there was no real chicken option. Do one, London Pizza; bring back AK.

Who do I speak to at the Guardian about Jay Rayner’s job?
 
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There have been some new double yellow lines gone in on Palace Road and some heavy enforcement. I think that the survey rejected residents parking but was ok with the new enforcements. I would have preferred residents parking myself, and opted for that in the survey. Tulse Hill is the last stop on Thameslink without parking restrictions so we’re just a car park for City commuters.
 
Proper random Tulse Hill night on Friday:
Pleasingly mixed crowd in a relaxed Railway dancing to some cracking ska. Skanked very drunkenly whilst flirting with the grannies. As a bonus, AK has re-opened so managed to round the evening off with some chicken limbs fried in oil that could have been no more than a week old.
Result
 
Sadly the Railway has some sort of noise limiter that turns the PA off if too loud.
Every now and then they had to turn off the dub and ska and play a bit of (to me) insipid soul so as to get the average bass levels down.:rolleyes:
 
Sadly the Railway has some sort of noise limiter that turns the PA off if too loud.
Every now and then they had to turn off the dub and ska and play a bit of (to me) insipid soul so as to get the average bass levels down.:rolleyes:
I'll be discovering the joys of that tonight. The trick is to carefully monitor and tweak the bass levels before the thing cuts out, although it can reduce the fun quotient massively :(
 
Sadly the Railway has some sort of noise limiter that turns the PA off if too loud.
Every now and then they had to turn off the dub and ska and play a bit of (to me) insipid soul so as to get the average bass levels down.:rolleyes:
I understand the reasoning behind installing sound limiters, but having a limiter run under an ‘average’ system seems very weird to me. Any neighbours who might be disturbed by the music being too loud will care little that there is an unacceptably loud ‘only’ a few times per hour, especially later in the evening if they are already sleeping. It can only take once instance to wake someone up.
 
Hey guys, still working out this forum, but I was hoping to get some views from people on the Tulse Hill area as a place to live, transportation, safety , friendliness. Look forward to hearing your views.

Thanks

Mols :)
Hi Mols welcome to Urban. Dont let anyone draw you into a debate about cheese/beans.

I can't say that much about Tulse Hill as a place to live - as I live just down the road in Herne Hill. But sometimes drink in the Railway and the Tulse Hill Hotel which are ok.
 
I live in a Tulse Hill (SW2 postcode, but am slap bang in between Brixton and Tulse Hill) and have done for about 7 years now. It’s lovely, very friendly (I know almost everyone in my street and everyone looks out for everyone else). Lots going on, Brockwell park is gorgeous and you can nip straight into it through the back of Cressingham. Couple of the estates I wouldn’t get lost in after dark, but the same can be said for anywhere. Direct trains into the city from Tulse Hill, much more reliable than much of the overland and not too impossibly crowded. C 20 minutes by bus up to Brixton tube, but at peak commuter times they are hell and 6 or 7 will go past without even stopping. Cafés, supermarkets etc in west Norwood; couple of decent pubs. Some very good schools and some, um, less so.

I’m a fan :)
 
As far as the "high street" goes:

its got a decent (Portuguese) cafe, a rip off pub with good music, and another rip off pub with fancy food that is also a hotel. Carlos's is another Portuguese bar/cafe (with a new sign outside) that will sell you a bottle of beer for £2. no supermarkets apart from an, albeit, quite recently refurbished co-op. A few shops to buy cheap booze but i believe these are getting closed or watched closely by the council. A once good Nepalese that is now awful. 2 or 3 cheap chicken/kebab/pizza takeaways. A corner that used to have loads of tyres which is now empty- expect fancy flats there soon.

Several buses running to Brixton- avoid like the plague at school kicking out time as 150 school kids will slowly board the bus, only to disembark at the next stop 50 yards down the road, the whole process takes about 10 minutes. A thameslink into the city and then out to Luton airport, again avoid in peak hours as you will not be able to physically get on. The London Bridge train is decent though...

:p
 
Tulse Hill is one of those slightly grubby, rough around the edges parts of London that no one really cares about too much.

It has a very mixed demographic, from poor to wealthy, yet still fairly multicultural.

I live between Brixton Hill & Tulse Hill, and close enough to walk to Tulse Hill station and avoid having to use Brixton Tube everyday (because it is a nightmare!). 20 mins into London bridge, 20 mins into Blackfriars....

It can be lively, there is crime, and surreal and unexpected things occur from time to time...which I like.

Access to other areas like Brixton, Herne Hill, West Norwood, Crystal Palace is made easy by buses and trains, or walking...There is a big health centre in West Norwood with a pool and gym, there is a couple of doctors surgeries, and a cinema is about to open in West Norwood (although I am boycotting that)....

There's live music and DJs at the Railway (and a good mix of locals and newbies, and sometimes prams and kids and entitled parents), over-priced pub grub and booze at the Tulse Hill Hotel (always full of prams and kids and entitled parents), cheap beer and grub at Carlos', and Cafe Castello

The Tulse Hill Cafe does a fine egg on toast if you are happy to sit among the lost and lonely characters from the area (of which I'd like to think I am one).

There are million pounds houses backing onto council estates, the roads are chaotic and dangerous, there are down and outs and up and coming, crafts beer shops, and old fashion off licences, a post office, a few hairdressers (but nowhere for a decent shaved head!), a charity shop, a co-op, a good Halal butchers just opened with loads of great ingredients for sale, and a few other places to eat ranging from a strange place called Xquisite (which looks like a strip club from the outside, but is apparently a Caribbean restaurant) to a strange place called Thaicoons which I have never seen a single person in...and there's chicken shops, pizza shops, a Jamaican takeaway, a chemist....

Everything is here really...and I quite like it, but I don't set my standards too high, and I don't mind the soot stained look of the place.
 
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...and here's what I wrote in Sept 2012

"Tulse Hill.

You can eat and drink and get in a fight on an almost 24/7 basis. It has a cool little Charity Shop and two many bookmakers.

The Tulse Hill Tavern is trying to revive itself. It's a tad too old school to really draw much of a younger crowd, however they've introduced a half decent pub menu recently and have been trying to promote some live music. I think with the right partnering and some intelligent managing they could make a good go of it. They are trying.

The Railway....popular, buzzing, young beautiful staff, pizzas, a wide range of beer, a fab garden, lots of live music and DJs, nowhere near as cool or as hip as it thinks, a bit pricey, sound is often shit for live music, often play lots of ska and reggae during the daytime.....food's pretty good. A nice breakfast. Lots of drug addled people who used to live in the albert seem to have ended up there.

The White Hart - home for the old and dying. Inhabited by life long Tulse Hillers, therefore mostly sick and demented and on the way out......they've had countless funerals in the past two years. No food, standards on draught, they dont do red wine 'cos no-one drinks that shit'.....the wrong song on the jukebox can start a war.....I know....

Castello - Portuguese cafe/resturaunt - great food, good prices, mediteranean service, there's not much in the way of menu, you have to find your way into the place and work out what's on offer.....look at what others are eating and point.....that's kinda how it works. Sagres on draught.....nice coffee....lost of old mne watching football and gambling.....I like it a lot in there.

Village Massalah.....had a really shit night in there once, but mainly it's good.....

There's a few other foodie gaffs about.....

The area is a strange mix of poor locals and professional people who live there for the good transport links. Poverty is very visible here. Lots of drunks and homeless people. Some dodgy characters hang around the parade of shops.....but mostly leave people alone. They kinda mill about with each other pimping, drug dealing and getting fucked up....it's no criminal empire.

From what I gather there is a lot of muggings and house thefts in the area.....compared to where I don't know, but I hear a lot of stories of both and have experience of my own too.

New things are opening all the time and foresee it taking a kind of Herne Hill vibe in coming years......there's a new sport centre going up in nearby Norwood, and lots of smaller shops and businesses are starting to open geared towards the young professionals, delis and eateries etc.

So it's a bit like the developing wild west......not quite Deadwood, but hey, a street fight isn't uncommon. It has all the basics, but needs some love and attention, like the people here. Newcomers to the area don't seem to do much to inject anything more into the place.....but I guess as more is developed towards them and away from the 'old timers' they'll start to come out of hiding and be more visible while the locals fade away and die.

I'd like to have a proper grocers and a butchers.

I reckon the area outside the station should be pedestrianised and the businesses there could put out tables and make quite a nice area.

I live there. I think there's hope for it."
 
Tulse Hill is one of those slightly grubby, rough around the edges parts of London that no one really cares about too much.

It has a very mixed demographic, from poor to wealthy, yet still fairly multicultural.

I live between Brixton Hill & Tulse Hill, and close enough to walk to Tulse Hill station and avoid having to use Brixton Tube everyday (because it is a nightmare!). 20 mins into London bridge, 20 mins into Blackfriars....

It can be lively, there is crime, and surreal and unexpected things occur from time to time...which I like.

Access to other areas like Brixton, Herne Hill, West Norwood, Crystal Palace is made easy by buses and trains, or walking...There is a big health centre in West Norwood with a pool and gym, there is a couple of doctors surgeries, and a cinema is about to open in West Norwood (although I am boycotting that)....

There's live music and DJs at the Railway (and a good mix of locals and newbies, and sometimes prams and kids and entitled parents), over-priced pub grub and booze at the Tulse Hill Hotel (always full of prams and kids and entitled parents), cheap beer and grub at Carlos', and Cafe Castello

The Tulse Hill Cafe does a fine egg on toast if you are happy to sit among the lost and lonely characters from the area (of which I'd like to think I am one).

There are million pounds houses backing onto council estates, the roads are chaotic and dangerous, there are down and outs and up and coming, crafts beer shops, and old fashion off licences, a post office, a few hairdressers (but nowhere for a decent shaved head!), a charity shop, a co-op, a good Halal butchers just opened with loads of great ingredients for sale, and a few other places to eat ranging from a strange place called Xquisite (which looks like a strip club from the outside, but is apparently a Caribbean restaurant) to a strange place called Thaicoons which I have never seen a single person in...and there's chicken shops, pizza shops, a Jamaican takeaway, a chemist....

Everything is here really...and I quite like it, but I don't set my standards too high, and I don't mind the soot stained look of the place.

Thanks guys for the Tulse Hill lowdown. I thought with it being so close to Herne Hill it would be pretty similar, but I guess not! lol. I've passed through during the day and it looks ok, good for transport links. I'd be using the brixton tube more than the TH rail line so thanks for the heads up on the buses, google said it would be about a 10 min bus ride to brixton, not the reality of 20, yikes. Decisions, Decisions! :) :)
 
Thanks guys for the Tulse Hill lowdown. I thought with it being so close to Herne Hill it would be pretty similar, but I guess not! lol. I've passed through during the day and it looks ok, good for transport links. I'd be using the brixton tube more than the TH rail line so thanks for the heads up on the buses, google said it would be about a 10 min bus ride to brixton, not the reality of 20, yikes. Decisions, Decisions! :) :)
City mapper says between 19-24 at this time of night!
 
Thanks guys for the Tulse Hill lowdown. I thought with it being so close to Herne Hill it would be pretty similar, but I guess not! lol. I've passed through during the day and it looks ok, good for transport links. I'd be using the brixton tube more than the TH rail line so thanks for the heads up on the buses, google said it would be about a 10 min bus ride to brixton, not the reality of 20, yikes. Decisions, Decisions! :) :)
Depending on where you are in TH, it is often easier to walk to Brixton tube, and definitely easier to take the bus to St Matthew’s Estate and walk the rest from there instead of taking the bus the whole way to the station.

If you’re travelling at rush hour, the only way to get on a bus to Brixton is to go to Hardel Rise and take a 415 as it begins its run, it is usually full to capacity by the second stop, High Trees.

If you can bear to be seen on one, one of those adult scooters could be good.

Coming home on the bus from Brixton is much easier and, again, try to get the 415 because most people don’t bother getting on after the Craignair Road because it terminates in Tulse Hill, so it’s that bit quicker.

One final bus tip is that you can walk to West Norwood and get an x68 which travels all the way to Waterloo without stopping. Because it uses the bus lane, it is as quick as a cab but not as quick as the tube.
 
Looks like something grim has gone down tonight in Tulse Hill Estate as the side road towards Tulse Hill is currently cordoned off by police tape and there are a load of police cars and ambulances there right now. Can't be good whatever it is
 
16. Only a kid with the misfortune of being born in a shit place. I just can’t understand it. He will be forgotten about in three days.
 
He will be forgotten about in three days.

Although he may well be "forgotten about" by many of those who now live in or attend pubs and bars in Tulse Hill and the surrounding area, it is unlikely that he will be forgotten so quickly by the other children who knew him, the children who witnessed his death, or his family, including his mother who was apparently on her way to collect him when he was killed.
 
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