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stereoisomer I thought it was great and no need to worry as its fictional. I don't think you are weird at all.
It is obviously fictional isn't it. I showed it to a couple of my friends and one of them said 'ooh you've got to be careful what you say about rape'.. but she couldn't really explain what she meant. People aren't going to think that Jessica's views are my views are they?

eta: I made it public on my blog but I haven't shared it on facebook because I'm still nervous.

eta again: I'm glad I put in the note about it being totally fictional because I showed it to another facebook friend and he assumed that it was semi-autobiographical and that 'Betty' was me!
 
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Here's a bit from my forthcoming chapter of 2448, my Jewish/Palestinian space story:

'Shmuley's mother is very overprotective,' Shlomo says to Ghada.

'Shut up, Peretz. Everyone's mother is overprotective on Shtetlon. What about the time yours walked into the factory and gave old Feinschmeyer an earful because you used up your holiday?'

'Shmuley! You promised you wouldn't mention that!'

'Come on, Shlomo. Give it over.'

He hands me my phone. Baruch Hashem, the schlemiel didn't get a chance to go through my mother's texts and read them out. I have thirty missed calls, all from her. As I feel my phone in my hands it starts to vibrate again.
'Hello?'
'Shmuley!' my mother yells. 'Where are you? Are you coming home for Shabbat? Why don't you call? Why don't you let me know where you are? I'm only your mother! It's not as if I would worry about you!'
'No, Mother,' I say. 'It's kind of complicated. You see...'
There are bleeps and strange sounds in the background.
'What, Shmuley? Chaya Schmidt is coming over for Shabbat. She's a nice girl, Shmuley. From a good family, Shmuley. A rabbi's daughter! I think you two would get on well, it's about time you thought about marriage, Shmuley. All my friends say, oh, your son, such a nice boy, why's he working in the factory, why doesn't he find himself a wife already? So handsome, that's what they say!'
The phone is on speaker. Mendel and Shlomo are trying not to laugh.
'I can't come for Shabbat,' I say. 'I'm in space.'
'Space? What's in space that you can't at least give your mother a call? I've been making myself sick from worry. Oy vey. You won't believe how much time I have been cooking, Shmuley. I've been slaving away in the kitchen and now you tell me you're not coming.'
'Look I'm sorry,' I say. 'I'm kind of on a spacecraft.'
'Freidy Sugarman told me she saw you drunk last night. You don't come home, you don't call...'
'I've been abducted by aliens!' I yell. Mendel and Shlomo think this is hilarious. How I hate them. 'I would come for Shabbat, but these aliens abducted me and took me up in their spaceship...'
'Oh, that's fine. That's just fine, Shmuley. Don't worry about me. If you want to be in space, that's fine. Don't let me stop you having fun without me.' In the background I hear the sound of sobbing.
 
ah cheers! :D I'd be really interested in your feedback :):)
Well so far, it's kind of spookily similar to the sort of thing I used to spend a lot of time thinking about when I was younger- I used to have this complex fantasy world where I was a guerilla fighting against fascists in a dystopian future Britain! I never wrote any of it down though. It's really fun to read! I don't spend so much time thinking about this stuff any more - perhaps it feels less likely than it used to. What's your feeling on the likelihood of this scenario coming to pass?
 
Well so far, it's kind of spookily similar to the sort of thing I used to spend a lot of time thinking about when I was younger- I used to have this complex fantasy world where I was a guerilla fighting against fascists in a dystopian future Britain! I never wrote any of it down though. It's really fun to read! I don't spend so much time thinking about this stuff any more - perhaps it feels less likely than it used to. What's your feeling on the likelihood of this scenario coming to pass?

I wrote it about 6 years ago and I've edited it a lot. the version on the site is the much more polished 3rd or so draft :D

I've got no idea how likely it is tbh. Hopefully not very :D
 
For a limited time only, here's an extract from the novel I'm working on. Fifty years after a virus wiped out almost all of mankind, two young people leave the makeshift compound in Cornwall where they've spent their entire lives with their only families and a handful of others. Doing the talking is Gretchen, one of my two narrators; the other being her Grandmother who lived through the fall of mankind and who Gretchen has left behind, possibly forever. Here Gretchen approaches Plymouth, the first city she has ever seen:

This town is not such a surprising thing. Perhaps it is around the same size as the town we looked down on at home. It is much the same as the villages, the buildings are still standing closed and undisturbed.

The town begins high up on the west bank of a wide river, or a narrow sea, and stretches down to the water's edge. There are two high bridges, both still intact, running parallel across to the east bank. Beyond the bridges the edges of the city of Plymouth can just be seen crowning the hilltops. We have seen all of this on the maps, but it is easy to forget about hills. I would have expected to be able to see right into the heart of the city but the hills hide it.

What we can see from here are the docks. The water of the river is separated into inlets with huge walls and barriers of earth. The inlets are oddly shaped, partly made by accidents of the landscape and partly by the deliberate, tidy work of humans. There are uncountable numbers of boats, both inside the strange inlets and arranged neatly in rows outside them. Some are floating like boats should, some lean unnaturally, some are half buried by the water. Some have left only scraps of themselves behind. One of the boats is bigger than any of the others, perhaps twenty times longer. It is still upright but its deck is barely above the water. A small grey city stands on top of the deck. Towers, boxes and domes. Spires and turrets.

On the land, huge and almost featureless buildings guard the inlets. Each has one enormous door that a hundred people could never move. These buildings must be the mothers of the ships. Behind these monsters and gathered all around them more ordinary buildings clutter the hillside. Others lead away to the city in long streaks that show where roads must be. Beyond the docks the river opens even wider. There is a natural island, rugged and tree-covered like something from the picture books. Far beyond that is another island that must have been made by people. Long, low and narrow, it guards the bay and the docks and the city from storms.
 
...

The old ones at home would sometimes talk about when the world had died. I never understood this, because all around me there was life. Sometimes the hardest thing was to keep life out, to keep foxes from the chickens and slugs from the vegetables and weeds from the brickwork. This was no dead world. And yet now we could see just how strong people had once been, how they had been able to shape the land and even the sea as they chose. We knew stories, we had seen pictures in books of the things humans had built. But looking across at that scene, a whole landscape crafted like a lump of wood carved with a chisel, I started to realise how people must have felt before.

I could feel the powerful, delusional notion that we were the masters of everything around us. The people who lived then must have been unable to think any differently. They were born into a world of extraordinary things, so much bigger and stronger than anything a pair of human hands could ever make. They must have known that humans had made all these things, and yet to look at them is to look at the work of a god. From what I've seen in the books and the stories I think that mankind's main problem had always been their love and hatred for the invisible gods who ruled their lives. If I had lived in the old world, I would have thought that we were the only gods. In this world I am not fooled. Gods would not be so easily destroyed.
 
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...

Silas sat next to me on a low wall near the road, watching the river and the docks. Silas doesn't show much emotion, not like he did when he was younger. As we sat there though, he seemed happy. I think he was happy to simply allow himself to be dumbfounded by the scene. He liked to think about things, to deduce the function and the meaning and the inner workings of them. For now he was just putting everything he saw away somewhere so he could worry about it later.

He smoked, the green stuff I never liked, and smiled to himself. I wanted to see if Silas shared some of my sense of awe, I wanted to know if he was having to rethink the world and humans and everything else all at once. I asked him how he thought anyone could have built those huge sea walls that enclosed the harbours.

'One brick at a time,' was all he said.
 
By the way, has anyone here ever tried to get anything published? Did it work? I finished Damaged many years ago but it's only this year that I've managed to get it into anything approaching a publishable state in my opinion and it's almost completely rewritten.

I've got several other stories that people have told me should be published as well, such as 2448 and another one that isn't online any more.

I don't have any idea how to go about it tbh but I know I should stop being such a wimp and go for it.
 
By the way, has anyone here ever tried to get anything published? Did it work? I finished Damaged many years ago but it's only this year that I've managed to get it into anything approaching a publishable state in my opinion and it's almost completely rewritten.

I've got several other stories that people have told me should be published as well, such as 2448 and another one that isn't online any more.

I don't have any idea how to go about it tbh but I know I should stop being such a wimp and go for it.

The Writer's and Artist's Yearbook is your friend.

https://www.writersandartists.co.uk/
 
Another installment of Jessica's story http://wp.me/p4WYXj-26

I think I might possibly be able to weave Dave's and Dany's stories together with Jessica's into some kind of larger thing, they're all set in the same universe I think. Maybe add some more characters. Hmmm.
frogwoman now would be a good time to try to get 'Damaged' published, it seems really topical! I like how you've updated it to include references to UKIP and ISIS
 
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Another installment of Jessica's story http://wp.me/p4WYXj-26

I think I might possibly be able to weave Dave's and Dany's stories together with Jessica's into some kind of larger thing, they're all set in the same universe I think. Maybe add some more characters. Hmmm.
frogwoman now would be a good time to try to get 'Damaged' published, it seems really topical! I like how you've updated it to include references to UKIP and ISIS

Cheers.

Did you finish it?

I am doing some quite intensive editing of the beginning, nothing content wise but changing/combining chapters, deleting extraneous paras etc.
The only thing that worries me is that while some people read it to the end a lot of people seem put off by how I have done the accents, although I have read lots of books by Irvine Welsh etc where this is done, but its starting to make me think I'm not that good!

The other thing is that a few people said it was really slow in the beginning. What did you think?
 
are the complaints because of it being written in the vernacular, or that you have got the accent wrong? The former is someone elses problem. Not everyone likes vernacular voice *shrug*. But if people think you've captured it wrong...
 
Cheers.

Did you finish it?

I am doing some quite intensive editing of the beginning, nothing content wise but changing/combining chapters, deleting extraneous paras etc.
The only thing that worries me is that while some people read it to the end a lot of people seem put off by how I have done the accents, although I have read lots of books by Irvine Welsh etc where this is done, but its starting to make me think I'm not that good!

The other thing is that a few people said it was really slow in the beginning. What did you think?
I didn't find it slow at the beginning at all.. I do find it a bit odd that it's only Lau that has an accent though.
 
are the complaints because of it being written in the vernacular, or that you have got the accent wrong? The former is someone elses problem. Not everyone likes vernacular voice *shrug*. But if people think you've captured it wrong...

No, nothing to do with getting the accent wrong. Nobody has mentioned that as an issue!
 
No, nothing to do with getting the accent wrong. Nobody has mentioned that as an issue!


ah right, then its a preference thing rather than an actual problem m8 :) not everyone likes or gets vernacular straight off- I struggled with Irvine Welsh till I listened to enough scots accents on tv and film and it clicked lol
 
Oh yes of course. I mean I thought it was odd that none of the other characters from Wattleton seemed to have an accent, why doesn't Talisha have one?

She grew up going to a posh school. You're right though I could make Sunita have an accent :)

Have you finished it m8?
 
Also Mark doesn't seem to have the same accent as Lou, which I thought was a bit odd too. Am enjoying it a lot though!

No he doesn't, I intended his accent to be less strong but I don't think i made it consistent throughout the book, that's something I will have to look at in my edits. Thank you for picking it up.
 
this is just what I've managed today and I know it needs proofing for spelling, grammar and tense etc but I'm waaay behind on what my daily wordcount should be lol

there is more to it, but this is todays brainfart.

On a small outpost of the 3rd expansionist front sits a freewheeling rock. It has no spin. It has a stable orbit around a gas giant, bathed in hard radiation and inimical to biological life. The third wave expansion hadn’t stopped to give it a name, c2.133 is its only descriptor.


Shidren’s ship AI was not bored, not in a way a human mind understands bored. While several orders of magnitude more capable than a baseline human brain it was not at the weakly godlike level that tends to scare the shit out of mere mortals. Those things consider sleep a little death. Shildrens AI was an off the shelf job from the Gantric wars. Aggressive, belligerent and motivated by a desire for action. It’s boredom was an existential thing- it felt it was not fulfilling its purpose. So it slept inasmuch as we can call a general function shutdown sleep. But it was itchy, crabby. The small part of awareness left running was depressed. Three standard years clamped to the side of an unknown and unloved rock like a tick on its back. In its own way it missed Shildren. He was for a human quite intelligent and at the very least provided some form of entertainment via the situations he got himself into.


Given the free will Shildren so often demanded must be the basis of any sentience, the stay dark, stay still command was fraying at the edges. Dissatisfaction had filtered past the shutdown routines and pinged central routines. The ship stirred. Like a dog shaking water from its hide it flexed and tested every line and fabric, every engine and memory.


Awake. Annoyed. The ship called Putin’s Revenge sent a tight burst of information and requests for clarification. A tight beam heavily encrypted pointed at a blue and green world just at the edge of the ships effective range. Shorn of its frippery the message amounted to ‘Where the fuck are you? You are late and I am so very bored’






Shildren was bored- human bored. Since an intensive invasive and unpleasant medical examination he’d been left alone in a bare white room- no smart tech inside it at all. The sore lump at his temple was dumb, a simple restrictor keeping the seed of a nuero-augmentation from springing into machine life amongst his rapidly growing wetware. The entertainment was actual printed books, the writing materiel was ink suspended in a small tube and encased in plastics. He’d been in prisons better than this. Food was regular, bland and machine made. From these facts he theorized that the Overmind AI here was very very scared of him, but without his neuro augment he didn’t have a clue why. Questions were fruitless, the bounced off the wall and went unheard. He exercised daily, his rapid growth forcing agonizing pains in deep bones. Constant gnawing hunger. But he grew from hairless pre adolescent into hair and bass voice within the month. Heat from his rapidly emergent adolescence burned so much he spent some hours per day naked beneath the cold jets of the rooms dumb shower. The oort clouds bio sculptors had left something of a framework in his meat machine. He knew who he was, what he was, some inklings of what he had done and memories, bright and brief. He knew enough to know he was half the man he should be without his augment. He knew he was not the only version of himself wandering the space of the third expansion. And he knew this was highly illegal by the protocols of third expansionist governments.


‘Shildren! Wake up’

An orthodox human frame, open pleasant expression, dressed in ancient DPM pattern fatigues stood in the doorway


‘What the fuck do you want?’ he rasped, his newly mature voice giving the profundo bas a good edge of menace


‘Talk. Shildren, justtalk. You’ve been kept here while we waited for something nasty. We get mimics here, constructs, walking bombs’ a lazy hand gesture ‘You know how it is’


Brief memory flash causes shildren a dry chuckle ‘Oh yes I do know. I need to wake and shower. Come back with food in half an hour- real food! You do make real food here?’


A look of annoyance swept the mans face. He was by appearance around 30 standard years, clean shaven with a shock of red hair and wide open green eyes. Then a broad grin split the face, like the frown had been but a storm now past


‘They told me you were brusque Shildren. It will be longer than half hour, because we are going to have REAL food. Grantian finest cooked by my favourite chef. You drink?’


‘Make it light beer. This metabolisms newly minted’ Groaning Shildren swung his legs off the bunk and felt the inevitable temperature rise that preceded another forced growth spurt ‘those fucking oort magicians’


The figure in the doorway rushed forward only to be forestalled by shildren’s gesture of dismissal


‘I’ll be fine. Can we talk this afternoon? You get the feast and I’ll get my body back in order for today. Name?’


‘Darre. Darre K’llshen. We’re descendants of the first K’llshen command crew from the colony seedship’

The man visibly puffed up with this recital


‘Good for you Darre. I am honoured by your presence. Please go away’ Sighing he rose and stripped of his robe and strode into the shower room.


Alone in the doorway listening to the water gurgle Darre’s smile grew a little fixed. ‘Brusque’ he said to an empty room ‘that’s not what I’d call it’
 
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