The Straight to DVD Dungeon

[Orang Utan]

I thought I would start a thread mimicing Kim Newman's feature in Empire in which he reviews low-budget b movies and straight to DVD movies, most of which are awful. The kind of DVDs you get for £1 in Deptford Market, which is precisely where i bought a bunch of turkeys which I shall review on this thread.
I also invite others to contribute their reviews of straight to DVD turkeys and b movie shockers. Some pearls amongst swine wouldn't go amiss either though.

 

[Orang Utan]

This is what I shall be ploughing through:

 

[Orang Utan]

That's The Tomorrow Man that is cropped out there.

There also appear to be a film called The Anal Countdown. Sounds fun!

 

[Yetman]

Haha! Excellent thread OU! I want to know how these abominations get funded?! Seriously, do they make money back? Is there a profitable niche in shit movies?!

 

[ska invita]

Nice thread..>Sci Fi 1 looks fun

Heres Salute of the Jugger

from 1989
a while since i watched it but it was alright really, and i watched it till the end - 80s straight to video fantasy - they dont make them like that any more.

 

[Orang Utan]

Haha! Excellent thread OU! I want to know how these abominations get funded?! Seriously, do they make money back? Is there a profitable niche in shit movies?!

Good question! I'm not sure. I'm sure some must be expensive failures, but most of them must make money as they are very cheaply made (comparatively).
One of them is a sequel so the first must have made money.
It's called Plughead Rewired: Circuitry Man II and stars Vernon Wells of Blade Runner and Commando fame as well as the dependably Traci Lords. Can't wait to see that!
Oh wait, there is another sequel: The Mangler 2.
If I enjoy these, there's a fuckton more of them out there for a quid each.

 

[Orang Utan]

Nice thread..>Sci Fi 1 looks fun

from 1989
a while since i watched it but it was alright really, and i watched it till the end - 80s straight to video fantasy - they dont make them like that any more.

If you post a YouTube clip, can you please also say what the film is as not everyone can view or see what it is on their devices

 

[Voley]

Nice thread..>Sci Fi 1 looks fun

from 1989
a while since i watched it but it was alright really, and i watched it till the end - 80s straight to video fantasy - they dont make them like that any more.

I remember watching that advert when I was a kid and even back then I thought it looked shit.

I've a feeling Rutger Hauer might feature heavily on this thread.

 

[ska invita]

Seriously, do they make money back? Is there a profitable niche in shit movies?!

I watched a thing about exploitation cinema the other day that kind of explained this. I think it did add up until the 80s/early 90s but not sure after that.

In the states it used to be the case that there were two cinema circuits, those owned by the studios and independents. RIght from the start of film, and following in the freak show tradition, people started making cheap films that pushed the bounds of taboos and taste boundaries - broadly described Exploitation Cinema. The trick was to make loads of films dead cheap and try and get them played at indie cinemas and the maths added up to make a profit.

Essential was always looking for the next taboo boundary and breaking it. Studios rode the slipstream of these cheap groundbreaking films - making artier versions of films that had already been played on the indie circuit. This definitely continued up to the late 70s with porn one of the last boundaries and continued into the 80s with gore. In the 80s VHS kicked off and the idea of straight to video (video nasties) took over the market logistics, and added up.

Im not really sure how it works today to be honest. Is there still that indie circuit? I doubt it. And the home rental thing has been contained too.

 

[Orang Utan]

I remember watching that advert when I was a kid and even back then I thought it looked shit.

I've a feeling Rutger Hauer might feature heavily on this thread.

Aye, and Lance Henriksen. He's in The Mangler 2. Lots of more 'respectable' actors star in turkeys too. I have Peter O'Toole, Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen in that lot

 

[Fez909]

Plughead Rewired: Circuitry Man II

What a title!

 

[ska invita]

I've a feeling Rutger Hauer might feature heavily on this thread.

and the fine productions of Dino De Laurentiis http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0209569/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

 

[thriller]

That's The Tomorrow Man that is cropped out there.

There also appear to be a film called The Anal Countdown. Sounds fun!

I purchased this hollywood dvd ages ago on ebay. only recently binned it. Not a bad film.

 

[thriller]

it does read like Anal Countdown.

 

[TheHoodedClaw]

The Final Countdown is actually a pretty decent film.

 

[colbhoy]

The Final Countdown is actually a pretty decent film.

Had a quick look on IMDB and there are a fair few positive reviews.

 

[The Boy]

Final Countdown doesn't belong on this thread. I mean, it's hilarious in parts, but not sure it falls into the straight-to-video niche.

As to the finances of the films, I think the equipment comes relatively cheap these days compared to back in the day. Workers probably don't get paid, and if they do it's not gonna be mucj. And it's all digital so no need to pay for film etc. Not that difficult to make a few pennies when you take that into consideration.

Then you obviously have the likes of The Asylum who make films that are *just* the right side of a copyright lawsuit and get them into the stores just as the hype over the latest blockbuster is at its peak, ready to be picked up by the unsuspecting. Films like Alien vs Hunter, Paranormal Entity, I am Omega, Transmorphers etc. They seem to do quite well unintentionaly out of it.

 

[The Boy]

Although I would like to nominate Patrol Men to the thread.



edit: I assume the tagline "Bad Things Will Happen" is in reference to the fact someone bothered to make the film in the first place.

 

[DotCommunist]

Steel Dawn

 

[Orang Utan]

Has anyone seen Megaforce?

 

[ska invita]

Ive got one - Kazaam. This made a profit in the states based on the fact it had Shaq in it and despite terrible reviews but didnt get a release anywhere else. The set-up is classic bullshit: Shaq is Kazaam, a 5000 year-old genie who appears from a magic boombox to grant a boy three wishes.

Dont let the 2.5 score on IMDB put you off - its shitter than that!

 

[ska invita]

it really was pants

 

[ska invita]

If you like shit movies Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is your friend - all on youtube these days
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Science_Theater_3000

Mystery Science Theater 3000, often abbreviated MST3K, is an American cult television comedy series created by Joel Hodgson and produced by Best Brains, Inc., that ran from 1988 to 1999.

The series features a man and his robot sidekicks who are trapped on a space station by an evil scientist and forced to watch a selection of bad movies, often (but not limited to) science fiction B-movies. To stay sane, the man and his robots provide a running commentary on each film, making fun of its flaws and wisecracking (or "riffing") their way through each reel in the style of a movie-theater peanut gallery. Each film is presented with a superimposition of the man and robots' silhouettes along the bottom of the screen.

The 80s straigh to video films they watch are my favourite - such as this one, Space Mutiny (this is a compilation of best bits)

full film here

 

[stuff_it]

it does read like Anal Countdown.

I would like to see that as well.

 

[bi0boy]

Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe:



Did VHS B-movies really cost $89.95 in 1990?

 

[pissflaps]

Has anyone seen Megaforce?

the great Mr Gordon Mulhare putting in a strong showing at 1:51 there...

 

[ska invita]

Did VHS B-movies really cost $89.95 in 1990?

that wouldve been the cost for video librarys

 

[Orang Utan]

I remember rental vids often had the sale price on them as well as hire price and it was always about £70

 

[Maltin]

In the states it used to be the case that there were two cinema circuits, those owned by the studios and independents. RIght from the start of film, and following in the freak show tradition, people started making cheap films that pushed the bounds of taboos and taste boundaries - broadly described Exploitation Cinema. The trick was to make loads of films dead cheap and try and get them played at indie cinemas and the maths added up to make a profit.

Essential was always looking for the next taboo boundary and breaking it. Studios rode the slipstream of these cheap groundbreaking films - making artier versions of films that had already been played on the indie circuit. This definitely continued up to the late 70s with porn one of the last boundaries and continued into the 80s with gore. In the 80s VHS kicked off and the idea of straight to video (video nasties) took over the market logistics, and added up.

Im not really sure how it works today to be honest. Is there still that indie circuit? I doubt it. And the home rental thing has been contained too.

The studios haven't owned the theatres in the US since around 1950 following the consent decree in the Paramount case in 1948 therefore the theatres are independent.

There are still the dollar cinemas (although it seems they charge more than a dollar now) and some drive in cinemas which would be some of the distribution outlets for these types of film in the past.

 

[Maltin]

Haha! Excellent thread OU! I want to know how these abominations get funded?! Seriously, do they make money back? Is there a profitable niche in shit movies?!

There's an article here about distribution of independent films.

http://www.peterbroderick.com/writing/page20/maximizingdistribution.html

Part of the funding is through sale of distribution rights in advance.