Produce Wars 2024, The Suburban Thread

[Yuwipi Woman]

Last year people requested a thread for the produce war that rages in my rural neighborhood. You can be living quietly, and someone will sneak into your yard and place a sack full of zucchini on your porch or in your car, and retreat with you none of wiser of where it came from. Came home once to find the entire porch carpet bombed with turnips.

I started the first action of the season with a stealth bombardment of jams and jellies. I've also ramped up arms production by investing in fruit bushes such as raspberries and gooseberries, and a cherry tree.

 

[Voley]

Woman over the road from me ATTACKS me with tomatoes that are loads nicer than anything you'd get in a supermarket.

Usually in person but sometimes she stealth-bombs the front porch.

 

[rubbershoes]

There's often turnips strewn around one of the lanes near here. Lorries leaving the nearby turnip farm may be relevant

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Woman over the road from me ATTACKS me with tomatoes that are loads nicer than anything you'd get in a supermarket.

Usually in person but sometimes she stealth-bombs the front porch.

Be careful. It'll be squash next.

 

[Epona]

Fantastic, I loved your produce wars posts last year, can't wait to hear what this year's growing season brings

 

[Silas Loom]

Your neighbourhood sounds lovely.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Your neighbourhood sounds lovely.

Like everywhere else, there are social problems. One of them is food insecurity. Leaving produce for people is one way that we deal with it. I have doubts that it's an adequate response.

 

[iona]

I left some jars of marmalade outside someone's chicken shed last month and a bag of spring greens on someone else's front door the other day Made me miss my old gardening customer who'd happily take delivery of entire binbags full of greens and other veg, and return some of them in the form of delicious homemade soup the following week.

Today's mission is to exchange the stack of empty egg boxes people keep giving me (I started selling eggs at my jiu jitsu club when we had a surplus over the winter, now people randomly accost me with bags full of empty boxes) for 5 dozen or so freshly laid eggs to give to people I know down south.

 

[TopCat]

I stopped knocking when gifting home grown veg. It’s not about me. I just hang a bag on neighbours doors. I’m sure they work it out.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I left some jars of marmalade outside someone's chicken shed last month and a bag of spring greens on someone else's front door the other day Made me miss my old gardening customer who'd happily take delivery of entire binbags full of greens and other veg, and return some of them in the form of delicious homemade soup the following week.

Today's mission is to exchange the stack of empty egg boxes people keep giving me (I started selling eggs at my jiu jitsu club when we had a surplus over the winter, now people randomly accost me with bags full of empty boxes) for 5 dozen or so freshly laid eggs to give to people I know down south.

Carry on Comrade!

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I stopped knocking when gifting home grown veg. It’s not about me. I just hang a bag on neighbours doors. I’m sure they work it out.

I think in my area they don't say who left it because they don't want the recipient to feel like they're a charity case. It's just neighbors sharing their excess produce, so it won't go to waste. Not wasting things is midwestern cultural value.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I was invited to peace talks over the Memorial Day weekend. We engaged in some economic and cultural exchange involving BBQ, potato salad, cole slaw, and carrot cake. I'm now firmly established as the evil communist empire by passing on the meat.

Traded an old metal screen door and the passenger side door of a Toyota for enough scrap metal roofing to cover the toolshed.

 

[JimW]

My wife saw a neighbour walking in the rain so gave her a lift to the bus stop. Subsequently her husband has swung by twice, first time with a trike truck full of scallions when everyone was harvesting them, then the other night with apricots. He shows up just when I'm putting the kids to bed but wants to chat, which is a bit awkward, plus he has a really thick accent and is a bit deaf, so the conversation is a bit disjointed anyway. Great fruit and veg though.

 

[TopCat]

I was invited to peace talks over the Memorial Day weekend. We engaged in some economic and cultural exchange involving BBQ, potato salad, cole slaw, and carrot cake. I'm now firmly established as the evil communist empire by passing on the meat.

Traded an old metal screen door and the passenger side door of a Toyota for enough scrap metal roofing to cover the toolshed.

You had stored a passenger side door for a Toyota AND a neighbour needed one? I am in awe.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

You had stored a passenger side door for a Toyota AND a neighbour needed one? I am in awe.

This was more of a scrap-weight for scrap-weight exchange. Everyone around here collects scrap for cash.

I will be repurposing the tin. It's some old, patterned tin from the skirting around a mobile home. It will gussy up* the toolshed considerably and hopefully keep the raccoons out.

* I'm pretty sure "gussy up" is the most American word ever used on this board.

 

[JimW]

I'm pretty sure "gussy up" is the most American word ever used on this board.

Especially when used to refer to a raccoon prevention measure

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

This was more of a scrap-weight for scrap-weight exchange. Everyone around here collects scrap for cash.

I will be repurposing the tin. It's some old, patterned tin from the skirting around a mobile home. It will gussy up* the toolshed considerably and hopefully keep the raccoons out.

* I'm pretty sure "gussy up" is the most American word ever used on this board.

You want to keep the raccoons out?!?' id be welcoming them in, making them comfortable. They're super cute. I'm well jel that you have raccoons in your vicinity.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

You want to keep the raccoons out?!?' id be welcoming them in, making them comfortable. They're super cute. I'm well jel that you have raccoons in your vicinity.

You must have not accidentally stepped on one.

 

[Epona]

Also aren't racoons quite susceptible to picking up rabies because they tend to be social so it can spread quickly in a locality?
That would make me a little wary about racoons in the shed
It's something we don't have to really worry about here (we do have European Bat Lyssavirus here which is part of the same group of viruses, but it tends to be bats that live in caves in remote areas and if you're not a bat conservationist going into those habitats you're not likely to encounter it)

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Also aren't racoons quite susceptible to picking up rabies because they tend to be social so it can spread quickly in a locality?
That would make me a little wary about racoons in the shed
It's something we don't have to really worry about here (we do have European Bat Lyssavirus here which is part of the same group of viruses, but it tends to be bats that live in caves in remote areas and if you're not a bat conservationist going into those habitats you're not likely to encounter it)

Yes, they're one of the species most prone to rabies. I've seen three animals with rabies and it's not something you forget. I've also had to have a series of rabies shots (due to bat bite) and that's not fun either.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I was stealth attacked with asparagus spears this morning. Fended it off with some tomato seedlings I picked up at a garden show and a cup of stout coffee.

 

[JimW]

Our guy showed up first thing Sunday morning to take me and the kids up to a spot in the hills behind where there was a glut of mulberries to be picked.

 

[Epona]

I was stealth attacked with asparagus spears this morning. Fended it off with some tomato seedlings I picked up at a garden show and a cup of stout coffee.

I forget what a spear damage roll is in DnD, but I actually don't think there is a defence situation in the rules for tomato seedlings, I presume the coffee provides a temporary buff

 

[shakespearegirl]

We have a deal with a friend who has just bought a house in the country and lovely gardening, we buy seeds/plants and she grows them and we get half the produce. I’ve started sharing the goods from her existing (orange, lemon, graprefuit, nêspera) trees with my elderly neighbour who is thrilled

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

We have a deal with a friend who has just bought a house in the country and lovely gardening, we buy seeds/plants and she grows them and we get half the produce. I’ve started sharing the goods from her existing (orange, lemon, graprefuit, nêspera) trees with my elderly neighbour who is thrilled

The "gift economy" and the "barter economy" existed long before Capitalism and will exist long after.

 

[TopCat]

My youngest accused me of now foisting plants onto people. It’s true. I have to get new homes for the spares.

 

[shakespearegirl]

When something is in season here we often drop stuff off to friends on the way back from the market, never gonna use a huge bunch of dill in a week!

 

[AverageJoe]

You want to keep the raccoons out?!?' id be welcoming them in, making them comfortable. They're super cute. I'm well jel that you have raccoons in your vicinity.

Try and get one to load your dishwasher.

#crossthreadmeme.

I'm loving this thread btw.

 

[JimW]

More apricots from our man with the trike again today, three big basins full, managed to foist one of those on the father of one of my daughter's classmates who came round to play (ETA the daughter not the dad ), otherwise they'll be gone off before we can get them eaten.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I formed an alliance with a neighboring combatant and dropped them some weaponry. They should be better able to engage armed with a weedwacker.

I pulled out the heavy firepower and took a chainsaw to a line of volunteer trees. I'll replant with Starlite apples, a hearty Canadian variety that's tough and a heavy producer.

The cherry tree I planted earlier this year is already producing results. There may be enough there for a pie or two.