Please help, anyone know of any likely festivals in Bristol??

[Mation]

Which in turn is reminding me of the one about the rabbit going into the sandwich shop...

What's the rabbit going into the sandwich shop one?

 

[hitmouse]

Rabbit walks into a sandwich shop and goes "hello, can I get two ham toasties?" Shopkeeper goes "yeah, sure", sells them the two toasties.
Next day, rabbit walks into the shop and goes "hello, can I get two cheese toasties?" Shopkeeper goes "yeah, sure", sells them the two toasties.
Next day, rabbit walks into the shop and goes "hello, can I get two ham toasties?" Shopkeeper goes "yeah, sure", sells them the two toasties.
Next day, rabbit walks into the shop and goes "hello, can I get two cheese toasties?" Shopkeeper goes "yeah, sure", sells them the two toasties.
Things go on like this for a while. Then one day, the rabbit goes into the shop, orders two ham toasties as normal. The shopkeeper goes "ah, sorry mate, we've only got the one left in stock. Tell you what though, we've got a cheese toastie as well and I know you like those, shall I just do you one of each?"
The rabbit goes "no chance, you won't catch me mixingmetoasties!"

 

[spitfire]

A duck walks into a shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper looks a bit puzzled, but says: "No - we're a shoe shop. But if you got out of the door and turn left, there's a fruit and veg stall about a minute away. Or you could try one of the supermarkets - there are a few along the high street."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper looks even more puzzled, and says: "No - we're a shoe shop. We sell shoes. You came in yesterday. You should try the stall or the supermarkets."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper's getting pretty pissed off by now, but retains some cool and says: "No. We don't sell grapes. We sell shoes. We're a shoe shop. Clue's in the name. If you want grapes, you need to go somewhere that sells grapes. Like I said."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

This time, the shopkeeper loses his shit, and says: "LOOK. I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU. THIS IS A FUCKING SHOE SHOP. WE SELL SHOES. WE DON'T SELL GRAPES. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Well, that's it. The shopkeeper can't contain himself: "RIGHT. IF YOU COME IN HERE ONE. MORE. FUCKING. TIME. AND ASK IF I SELL GRAPES, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR FUCKING FEET TO THE FUCKING FLOOR!"

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any nails?

The somewhat bemused shopkeeper replies: "No..?"

And the duck says: "Ok. Have you got any grapes?"

Haha, never seen the joke before, it's better than the song that Mini Fire loved when she was 3. (Which I also quite liked a bit tbh).

 

[Mation]

Haha, never seen the joke before, it's better than the song that Mini Fire loved when she was 3. (Which I also quite liked a bit tbh).

That's lovely

Any other ducks on a windup out there?

 

[spitfire]

That's lovely

Any other ducks on a windup out there?

This may be the same duck but it's hard to tell.

 

[spitfire]

This may be the same duck but it's hard to tell.

97,613,417 views



Reckon Mini Fire accounts for about 2/3000

 

[mauvais]

The one about the plasterer is a good one.

 

[xenon]

What's the difference between a duck?

One of it's legs are both the same.

hmm

 

[xenon]

The one about the plasterer is a good one.

Is it though, really?


sigh

Go on then...

 

[mauvais]

Is it though, really?


sigh

Go on then...

 

[maomao]

It's a butchers and the rabbit wants lettuce. All your jokes are shit.