Please help, anyone know of any likely festivals in Bristol??

[Brizzel Kicks]

Been in Bristol for a little while now, but struggling to find any upcoming festivals ...

 

[editor]

I doubt if any festivals will be happening anywhere this side of the summer.

 

[butchersapron]

Love saves the day insist their one is going ahead in may. Chances are even less than the IOC's idiot insistence that the olympics are going ahead in june.

 

[kalidarkone]

Been in Bristol for a little while now, but struggling to find any upcoming festivals ...

Where have you been?

 

[Supine]

Will it happen though...

Shindig Festival 23rd - 26th May 2024 - Dillington Estate Somerset

A stunning 16th Century parkland lovingly transformed into the setting for the ultimate boutique festival experience. Music to soothe and stimulate, Workshops to educate and enrich, Talks to inspire and inform, Art to amaze and astound.

shindigfestival.co.uk

 

[quiet guy]

Bristol International Balloon Fiesta in mid-August

 

[Brizzel Kicks]

Love saves the day insist their one is going ahead in may. Chances are even less than the IOC's idiot insistence that the olympics are going ahead in june.

Thank you. appreciate that x

 

[Brizzel Kicks]

Where have you been?

Under a rock I guess???

 

[Brizzel Kicks]

Bristol International Balloon Fiesta in mid-August

Bit tame for me, but thanks anyway x

 

[kebabking]

Harbour Festival - usually the first weekend of the summer holidays?

We'll 'book' my mum and dad's place for it, but as butchersapron says, we wouldn't bother booking a hotel for it. I fear 2021 is going to be as much a year for hermitry as 2020, just without the naive optimism...

(I accept that the HF is not quite the banging, hedonistic, no-holds-barred, celebration of anarchic pleasure that some may seek, but I like it, so ner-ner-na-ner...)

 

[xenon]

Been in Bristol for a little while now, but struggling to find any upcoming festivals ...

LOL

I mean, what.

 

[danny la rouge]

Under a rock I guess???

But ... really. No, really?

 

[danny la rouge]

All the pubs round my way (G20) are closed. Is something happening?

 

[SheilaNaGig]

Where have you been?

A woman came into the shop last week and asked if we sold clothes. We looked around at eac other and then around at the shelves filled with food.

Then someone said to her “.... err... no, sorry, this is a food shop....” Then she said “It’s really weird, all the clothes shops are closed. Why are all the shops shut?”

We kinda looked at each other again, and back at her, waiting for the punchline to drop. But she kept looking at us expectantly. Just before one of my colleagues jumped in with the derisory piss take I said “All the shops are closed because there’s a global pandemic” and it sounded like a derisory piss take.

There seems to be no way to inform someone of the global pandemic without it sounding like everyone is taking the piss,

 

[danny la rouge]

There seems to be no way to inform someone of the global pandemic

The what now?

 

[SheilaNaGig]

The what now?

(((Danny)))

 

[SheilaNaGig]

It’s actually not a global pandemic with lockdown. It’s an elaborate version of sending you to Coventry.

 

[danny la rouge]

COVID-19: Partygoers claimed they had not heard of the pandemic - as police reveal breaches over the weekend

Police have branded some of the rule breaches "selfish" and "irresponsible" while the UK is in lockdown.

news.sky.com

These people apparently claimed not to know.

 

[SheilaNaGig]

COVID-19: Partygoers claimed they had not heard of the pandemic - as police reveal breaches over the weekend

Police have branded some of the rule breaches "selfish" and "irresponsible" while the UK is in lockdown.

news.sky.com

I saw that.

“Easy. We’ll just say we don’t watch the news. ‘Course they’ll believe us!l”

 

[quiet guy]

These will be the same people who say they don't have a TV and therefore don't need a licence

 

[BristolEcho]

You might be lucky if simple things or something is on later in the year around October.

 

[Mation]

A woman came into the shop last week and asked if we sold clothes. We looked around at eac other and then around at the shelves filled with food.

Then someone said to her “.... err... no, sorry, this is a food shop....” Then she said “It’s really weird, all the clothes shops are closed. Why are all the shops shut?”

Made me sad, but also reminded me of the 'duck walks into a shoe shop' joke.

 

[hitmouse]

(((Danny)))

Nearly a year into the pandemic and we've still not found a way to signify "gives [x] a socially distanced elbow bump".

 

[Mation]

Nearly a year into the pandemic and we've still not found a way to signify "gives [x] a socially distanced elbow bump".

me >--*--< you (bit laborious)

< you > (bit obscure)

>you< (contender? seems to auto-add quote tags, though)

 

[Supine]

You might be lucky if simple things or something is on later in the year around October.

i normally go to that but not this year. Too many packed low ventilation venues. Its all about the outdoors parties if anything this year imo.

 

[BristolEcho]

i normally go to that but not this year. Too many packed low ventilation venues. Its all about the outdoors parties if anything this year imo.

Personally I'm not expecting anything to be on this year I just can't see it.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I mean I guess it's technically possible someone might not have turned on a TV, read any source of news or not looked out a window for the last 12 months

 

[jakethesnake]

Made me sad, but also reminded me of the 'duck walks into a shoe shop' joke.

What's the 'duck walks into a shoe shop' joke, please?

 

[Mation]

What's the 'duck walks into a shoe shop' joke, please?

A duck walks into a shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper looks a bit puzzled, but says: "No - we're a shoe shop. But if you got out of the door and turn left, there's a fruit and veg stall about a minute away. Or you could try one of the supermarkets - there are a few along the high street."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper looks even more puzzled, and says: "No - we're a shoe shop. We sell shoes. You came in yesterday. You should try the stall or the supermarkets."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Shopkeeper's getting pretty pissed off by now, but retains some cool and says: "No. We don't sell grapes. We sell shoes. We're a shoe shop. Clue's in the name. If you want grapes, you need to go somewhere that sells grapes. Like I said."

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

This time, the shopkeeper loses his shit, and says: "LOOK. I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU. THIS IS A FUCKING SHOE SHOP. WE SELL SHOES. WE DON'T SELL GRAPES. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND?"

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any grapes?"

Well, that's it. The shopkeeper can't contain himself: "RIGHT. IF YOU COME IN HERE ONE. MORE. FUCKING. TIME. AND ASK IF I SELL GRAPES, I'M GOING TO NAIL YOUR FUCKING FEET TO THE FUCKING FLOOR!"

And the duck says: "Ok. Bye bye."

Next day, at about the same time, the duck walks into the shoe shop, goes up to the counter and says to the shopkeeper: "Hello! Have you got any nails?

The somewhat bemused shopkeeper replies: "No..?"

And the duck says: "Ok. Have you got any grapes?"

 

[hitmouse]

Which in turn is reminding me of the one about the rabbit going into the sandwich shop...