Pitch the next entry in the Die Hard franchise

[DaveCinzano]

Dude Hard - keen bowler and one of the authors of the Port Huron statement , the original not the compromised second draft is mistaken for John McClain at a branch of the In and Out Burger .

That final paragraph really tied the statement together

 

[Yossarian]

John McClane takes on the Hong Kong triads in Die Hard Boiled

 

[Nine Bob Note]

Try Hard
John McClane does his best but the baddies win because he's like 70 years old and American law enforcement shouldn't keep relying on him.

 

[High Voltage]

Inspired by this afternoons film watching

We Still Die Hard the Old Way

 

[Elpenor]

Love Honour and Die Hard

John McClane is in London, England and comes across some cockney gangsters.

Ray Winstone tries to reprise his classic line from the original and says “you’re bald and I’ll throw you in the river”. McClane shoots him.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Semper Fi Hard
McClane is drafted in to investigate the suspicious death of a jarhead on a Marine base.

"Come to Guantanamo, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."

 

[5t3IIa]

Das Hard

Tense claustrophobic thriller remake set in a floundering Douglas DC-8 Windsor 114, featuring state of the art CGI Jack Lemon (German language, S)

 

[Nine Bob Note]

Die Hard Die
Sideshow Bob distracts John McClane from saving the city with a one man performance of HMS Pinafore

 

[JimW]

Die Hardy Boys - mystery how this one got made.

 

[Nine Bob Note]

Die Hardy Boys - mystery how this one got made.

Bruce Willis had best do the driving.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Die Harder They Come
Prequel in which a young McClane gets mixed up in inter-yard conflict whilst on a school exchange trip in Jamaica

 

[petee]

mcclane advances the numeration while at the casino

Die Hard Eight

 

[Elpenor]

Zero Die Thirty

Mcclane gets involved in the hunt for Bin Laden; delivering the coup de grace with “Yippie Ki Yay”

 

[JimW]

Get Jet Li in, that Chinese market is massive: Romeo Must Die Hard

 

[DotCommunist]

Things to in Denver when you're dead hard

 

[ska invita]

Ken Loach directs Die Hard in Care

Willis gives the neo-realist performance of a lifetime as he grapples with his degenerative brain disease, failing to receive adequate care and suffering all manner of abuse in a privatised care home. Concludes with McLane pocketing pharmaceuticals and unleashing a wave of poisonings and lethal injections of callous senior management before making his escape on a mobility scooter

Too soon?

 

[Orang Utan]

I'm surprised there hasn't been a McClane / Bond crossover. Die Hard another Day or Live and Let Die Hard...

too late now he's retired but I could see Willis as a cigar-chomping JW Pepper-type having his holiday ruined by Bond's hijinks

 

[DaveCinzano]

Snakes On A McClane
John is attacked by slithering serpents. I'm not sure how or why, not got that far yet, but Willis and Jackson have both signed on

 

[Elpenor]

Strangers on a McClane.

Willis agrees to kill someone else’s wife providing they off Holly Gennaro in return

 

[DaveCinzano]

Willis and Jackson have both signed on

 

[DaveCinzano]

The McClane Mutiny
Bruce Willis sacks his agent and refuses to churn out any more franchise movies

 

[nottsgirl]

Will I Die Hard?

Bruce Willis vs a load of blown tins.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Tie-Dye Hard
Now retired, McClane moves to Haight-Asbury and starts up a small arts and crafts business

 

[DaveCinzano]

Dive Hard
A burned out John McClane tried to get away from it all by going on a scuba activity holiday... Just his luck he picks the same picturesque quiet coastal village that the remnants of the Gruber organisation use as a sort of convalescence home - all manner of geriatric PTSD-triggered violence ensues, slowly, underwater

 

[DaveCinzano]

Finding Geronimo, Motherfucker
Heartwarming tale of a young fish lost in the ocean whom McClane attempts to reunite with its parent

 

[DaveCinzano]

A Fistful Of Toes
McClane goes spaghetti western

 

[DaveCinzano]

Yellow Dye No. 5 Hard
McClane teams up with Al Powell and they invest their pensions in a Twinkie factory

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

Seth McFarland's comedy western sequel, as Willis plays a mysterious vigilante protecting a town from sheep rustlers.

A Million Ways to Die Hard in the West.

 

[SpookyFrank]

John McClane is in a race against time to memorise an irrational number to 1,000 decimal places in...

π Hard

 

[Idris2002]

Rye Hard. The story of the ships biscuit, narrated by john mclane

Rye Hard

An outbreak of ergot hits the Salem colony's grain harvest. Unsuspecting settlers who eat the grain suffer hallucinations, sparking witch hunt. Puritan leader Jebediah McClain makes some poor schmoes die hard with a vengeance.