If God exists, how would you worship him?

[Gromit]

It's proven beyond all doubt...

So do you dirge sing at him? CoE stylee?
Or liven it up like gospel singers?
Or dance around something naked like certain pagans?

What's your preferred method of showing bigjobs how much you lub 'im?

 

[ice-is-forming]

What's yours?

 

[bi0boy]

As a kid I had to do the usual Sunday morning CofE service of hymn singing and reading the Lord's Prayer and it was a big chore.

I like the idea of the choral evensong service where the choir sing for God on your behalf so you can just sit there and chill.

Having the Lord's Prayer sung to e.g. John Sheppard's 1549 polyphonic composition sure beats having to read it out yourself:

 

[snadge]

So God is a male, that's slightly disingenuous, whatever sex, they can suck my dick.

 

[dessiato]

Psalm 98:4 and Psalm 100 do it for me.

 

[Pickman's model]

It's proven beyond all doubt...

So do you dirge sing at him? CoE stylee?
Or liven it up like gospel singers?
Or dance around something naked like certain pagans?

What's your preferred method of showing bigjobs how much you lub 'im?

Then you ask it/her/him.

 

[DotCommunist]

mortification of someone elses flesh

 

[chilango]

Bomb the shit out of some unbelievers obviously.

 

[Purdie]

 

[Purdie]

And on a bad day

 

[twentythreedom]

Like this, of course

 

[Gromit]

So God is a male, that's slightly disingenuous, whatever sex, they can suck my dick.

Well I personally think God is more likely to be an it and doesn't fall into our simple system of gender.

 

[Orang Utan]

I'd get an app to do it for me

 

[blairsh]

I'd get an app to do it for me

Godsapp

 

[fishfinger]

An electric monk:

The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.

The Electric Monk

 

[Gromit]

What's yours?

I dunno exactly but I suspect a food feast of some sort would be involved.

 

[Gromit]

An electric monk:



The Electric Monk

Just so long as it doesn't jump out of your boot and shoot you.

 

[danny la rouge]

If he could cure hangovers, I'd worship him any way he wanted.

 

[DotCommunist]

An electric monk:



The Electric Monk

 

[Vintage Paw]

I'd ask them why they've been such a fucking cunt.

 

[DotCommunist]

I'd ask them why they've been such a fucking cunt.

she'll just give you the obi wan defense

'ah well, the dark side murdered what could have been a beautiful garden so in a way I wasn't lying out of my dusty bumhole'

 

[dessiato]

An electric monk:



The Electric Monk

I must read that book again.

 

[Martin Simpson]

So God is a male, that's slightly disingenuous, whatever sex, they can suck my dick.

And it would be an honour for him...

 

[squirrelp]

Well today I have drunk tea and coffee, listened to music, have eaten some food, and am now typing away on my laptop.

 

[Fez909]

I'd bring him bacon butties in bed and suck his cock.

I bet Holy cum is divine

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I'd bring him bacon butties in bed and suck his cock.

I bet Holy cum is divine

That's you excommunicated from every monotheistic religion.

 

[Gromit]

That's you excommunicated from every monotheistic religion.

Yep. He forgot the brown sauce. 7th layer of hell for such a sin.

 

[Saul Goodman]

The second commandment says:

You shall not make for yourself a graven image,
or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above,
or that is in the earth beneath,
or that is in the water under the earth

So I'd probably build a church and fill it with graven images for people to worship, because that's obviously what the second commandment is telling me to do.

 

[stavros]

The question is flawed. If God exists, the motherfucker would worship me.

 

[Saul Goodman]

The question is flawed. If God exists, the motherfucker would worship me.

Like fuck I would!