I’m going to Istanbul by mistake and I’m terrified

[Edie]

Due to a weird twist of fate (meant to be going with a man, he’s had to cancel due to work, so my son is going in his place) I’m going to Istanbul on Friday.

The hotel is deep in the Asian side of the city in Kadikoy (about an hour and a half walk from Şehir Hatları dock, which you can get a ferry to the main part of Istanbul, the western part?).

Flying into Sabir Gocken airport, which is about 1h30 from Istanbul.

I don’t speak Turkish obviously.

People keep telling me I should wear a fake wedding ring. This is making me pretty scared of men there. I don’t know if I should consider wearing a head scarf? Obviously I’ll dress modestly.

I am not a traveler. In the last 15 years I’ve been to Spain once and Crete, both package holidays and I was pretty intimidated by the Crete one as had to get taxi and ferry with the kids- but *did* manage.

This trip feels way beyond what I can manage. I’ve thought about cancelling it, but then I think I should just not be so lame and somehow cope. I don’t even know how to get from the airport to the hotel (taxi? Safe? A website says bus, but I wouldn’t know where to get off?).

ANY ADVICE APPRECIATED

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

All I can add is that it has the worst airport I have ever been to.

 

[bimble]

Oh no! Edie it will be good. Don't fret. Well done for deciding to go anyway.
I've been there alone (a long time ago) and it was fine. Lots of the time it felt like Europe, street cafes with women sitting outside laughing and drinking etc.
Great that you'll have your son with you - I don't think wedding ring & headscarf are things you'd need or want in the city itself.
Maybe ask the hotel what they suggest for your journey from the airport?

eta: Don't forget to go to Hagia Sophia and look at the mosaics close up.

eta 2: some basic things that are good to do wherever you're going and you might not be in the habit of:

- take a photocopy of you & your son's passport and keep separate from the actual things, just in case.
- have a little stash of cash in $ or £ on you in a pocket at all times.
- take important phone numbers on piece of paper with you, in notebook or whatever.
- don't keep all valuables in one place, if you have more than 1 bank card keep them separate just in case you lose one.
- get hotel to write down your address in turkish & keep that with you.
- if you have a smartphone get the app called google translate - it really works.

 

[ice-is-forming]

miss direct lives in turkey

I've travelled down that way, through Europe and Asia Turkey, and had a great time. I'm a bit of a winger when it comes to travel and so far it's been okay. Abide by the local rules wrt religion and culture etc...

I can't add any other useful advice other than it'll be your attitude that can turn it from terrifying to adventure.

You got this

I did almost get kidnapped by pirates at the port in Izmir though.... I would feel remiss not telling you that. Oh and there was this thing with the police because i didn't have bribery Marlborough....

But tbf I was penniless and hitching

 

[dessiato]

You'll be fine. You'll go back to the UK full of great stories about how you coped and the cool things you did. It's an adventure. Life needs adventures.

(Good to see you back here too.)

 

[joustmaster]

You can get Google Maps to download a city area of maps, so you can still use it with your data switched off.

 

[TruXta]

Edie!

You'll be fine. Turkish people are ime extremely hospitable and courteous. Just use your normal sense of danger and you'll be fine. Millions of people travel there every year without incident.

 

[Edie]

Oh no! Edie it will be good. Don't fret. Well done for deciding to go anyway.
I've been there alone (a long time ago) and it was fine. Lots of the time it felt like Europe, street cafes with women sitting outside laughing and drinking etc.
Great that you'll have your son with you - I don't think wedding ring & headscarf are things you'd need or want in the city itself.
Maybe ask the hotel what they suggest for your journey from the airport?

eta: Don't forget to go to Hagia Sophia and look at the mosaics close up.

eta 2: some basic things that are good to do wherever you're going and you might not be in the habit of:

- take a photocopy of you & your son's passport and keep separate from the actual things, just in case.
- have a little stash of cash in $ or £ on you in a pocket at all times.
- take important phone numbers on piece of paper with you, in notebook or whatever.
- don't keep all valuables in one place, if you have more than 1 bank card keep them separate just in case you lose one.
- get hotel to write down your address in turkish & keep that with you.
- if you have a smartphone get the app called google translate - it really works.

Thanks for this, hadn’t thought of any of those things. Will do them all, and download google maps.

I’m trying to break it down in my head. Like first just get there, then if too scared to leave hotel then fine. Or maybe just go down the street etc

I know people travel all over the world, on there own, even at young ages, and this sounds ridiculous. But it really is intimidating for me.

 

[Edie]

Edie!

You'll be fine. Turkish people are ime extremely hospitable and courteous. Just use your normal sense of danger and you'll be fine. Millions of people travel there every year without incident.

Thank you x

 

[Plumdaff]

I went to Istanbul as a single woman a few years back - I found it far less hassle than Greece and parts of Italy. I didn't wear a ring, I did get my hotel to arrange transport for me from the airport. I had a scarf with me so I could cover my hair while visiting mosques, although not everybody did. I really loved it.

The Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque and Topkapi Palace are amazing. I also loved the main bazaar, the Roman underground, the smaller Byzantine churches. The food is amazing. Have a great time!

 

[Boudicca]

Istanbul is a great city, I spent a week there on my own and really enjoyed it. It's well set up for tourists, easy to get around (there's a metro), lots of things to do and see, friendly people and the food is good.

You'll be fine.

 

[bimble]

Just remembered I went to a hamam somewhere near the market where you get scrubbed really brusquely and laid on a giant slab of marble. Was winter when i was there and all the rest of that day was sort of glowing pink.

 

[Treacle Toes]

All of the above advice plus once you get there you will be one of thousands of tourists anyway which in itself will curb your fear. Remember to haggle though in the bazaar!

 

[Treacle Toes]

I'm actually more concerned about your son Edie...does he like the idea of a city break? What will you bribe him with?

 

[Magnus McGinty]

I’d be put off by the current regime. That aside it’s probably perfectly safe.

 

[Athos]

You'll have a great time. And, as long as you're sensible, Turkey is a safe place. Usual sorts of things: dress sensibly*, avoid eye contact or smiling at men you don't know, don't walk through dodgy areas (particularly after dark), avoid looking at maps in the street, keep your money and documents somewhere safe, don't wear expensive watches or get out an iPad etc. in the street, you don't need a headscarf except for visiting mosques. Try to carry yourself confidently, and don't feel you need to be polite - if somebody is pestering you, you can tell them firmly to leave you alone. Also trust your instincts; if something seems iffy, move on. It's worth spending a bit of time beforehand familiarising yourself with a map, so you have a basic feel for what's where, and getting an idea of what things should cost, so you're not ripped off.

If you're worried about getting around, you could ask the hotel to call cabs or, if you contact them in advance, to arrange an airport pickup. And/or try the BiTaksi app; it calculates the fare, which is handy as the drivers have a bit of a reputation for trying to rip people off!

There's loads of tourists go, and the vast majority have no problems at all, and love it.

* Yes, I know it's not up to women to change how they dress, but up to men to change how they behave. But Edie isn't going to change Turkish culture in a short holiday, so this is just practical advice.

 

[not-bono-ever]

you will be perfectly safe with some of the light caution advised earlier. Its a shocking, bustling surprisingly modern city - I think you will love it after a day or two. there are new clean buses every 15 minutes into central instanbul from the airport

 

[catinthehat]

I was there on my own a couple of years ago (for work rather than holiday) and it was fine. A good combination of being very different from home but with english language menus available! There are some lovely tea gardens if it feels a bit hectic at any point.

 

[Plumdaff]

Oh yes, I remembered I went to a tea cafe in the evenings by my hotel and played backgammon with Turkish people with not a word of shared language between us; it was fun. I also went to a hamman; quite a bracingly naked experience

 

[bellaozzydog]

If you live in a big city (London ?) you have all the physical and mental skills required to navigate instanbul

Turks are friendly, it's a beautiful city and most importantly the sun will probably be shining more than the UK

Just get stuck in. Very jealous

 

[mwgdrwg]

Hey, Edie!

I've never been there, but whenever I go abroad I like to learn some basic words such as please, thank you, excuse me etc! Also any essential customs I should observe...usually the sort of stuff you find on the inside cover of pocket guide books.

Have a great time, it'll be amazing!

 

[Pickman's model]

if you're asked to join in a coup, politely decline.

 

[Pickman's model]

Hey, Edie!

I've never been there, but whenever I go abroad I like to learn some basic words such as please, thank you, excuse me etc! Also any essential customs I should observe...usually the sort of stuff you find on the inside cover of pocket guide books.

Have a great time, it'll be amazing!

yeh, when i went to turkey, please, thank you and can i have the bill worked a treat. of course a familiarity with kebab shop menus helped

please = lutfen
thanks = Tesshecureler
can i have the bill please = faturayı alabilir miyim lütfen

 

[mwgdrwg]

yeh, when i went to turkey, please, thank you and can i have the bill worked a treat. of course a familiarity with kebab shop menus helped

please = lutfen
thanks = Tesshecureler
can i have the bill please = faturayı alabilir miyim lütfen

"Je ne suis pas Anglais, je suis Gallois" helped me to not get thrown off the wrong train in France once!

 

[Pickman's model]

"Je ne suis pas Anglais, je suis Gallois" helped me to not get thrown off the wrong train in France once!

the first time i went to france i asked for a wood instead of a drink

 

[Pickman's model]

"Je ne suis pas Anglais, je suis Gallois" helped me to not get thrown off the wrong train in France once!

but the french often wait for you to slip up so they can a) demonstrate their perfect english, and b) humiliate you because of your pisspoor french. i remember ordering a beer in angers and said je voudray un kronenberg. the waiter said ah! you want a kro-non-boorg

 

[miss direct]

You absolutely do NOT need to wear a headscarf or a ring. Just maybe wear higher necklines than you might in the UK (no idea what you normally wear but visible cleavage will attract unwanted attention here).

You've honestly got nothing to worry about at all. It's the perfect time to come. The sun is shining, there are tulips everywhere, and plenty of tourists. I've been here as a single woman for 10 years and wouldn't be if I didn't feel safe.

First decide where you're going to stay and then I can advise about how to get there from the airport.

Do you mean this Friday? The 20th?

 

[Idaho]

One of the great cities of the world. Yes it's a bit hassly for single women - but as others have said, no worse than most of the med.

The underground water tank thing is worth a look. I think it's one of those cities that rewards visitors who've done a little bit of history reading on the plane.

 

[SheilaNaGig]

Hey Edie

My ex was a bold traveller, he loved going to unusual places. He told me that he loved the mind bomb that happened when he arrived in a place that was completely unfamiliar. I didn’t really know what he meant til he took me to Budapest. We walked out of the airport and I was kind of shocked. We were the only visitors, everyone else was a commuter rushing home. All the signs and posters were in Hungarian and it might as well have been Martian to me, it was all completely meaningless. I kind of stopped dead in my tracks and my mind just stopped working for a short while, absorbing it all and trying to slot things into some kind of pattern of meaning. Nothing was familiar, not the architecture or the sweeties hanging on the kiosks, nothing. I felt a kind of fuddled bewilderment sweep over me. I just looked and looked and looked, and when my eyes finally fell on my bloke, he was looking at me smiling and he said “Mind bomb...” The commuters poured around us and I felt like a speck in a stream, a still point in all the roiling movement of a city.

I laughed because I finally understood what he meant. It was like having my brain rebooted, turned off and on again. It was like coming out of a coma and learning the world. It was terrifying but also exciting. It didn’t take long for my brain to start finding things that it did recognise (people are people are people. Concrete is concrete, tarmac is tarmac, an umbrella is an umbrella...) and from then on it all kind of fell into shape and pattern.

We took the bus to the hotel even though we were like children, unable to read the timetable and clumsy with the money. My bloke nearly got left behind and I had to shout and bang in the window to get the driver to stop for him. But it was all fine.

I know it’s different for you because you’ll be the responsible adult on this trip, and I could lean on my bloke. But I think your plan to clip it into tiny small manageable things is a good one. And when the mind bomb detonates, just enjoy it. Wait a moment and you’ll start to get your head around it.

Have a great trip

 

[Mrs D]

It’s all on google street view so if you don’t like surprises you can have a good browse around the streets near stations and your hotel etc so you don’t get lost when you arrive.