How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

[weltweit]

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Wikipedia

Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time.[1] In 2011, it was number 19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books.[2]

Has anyone heard of it, anyone read it? did it influence your behaviour, did it have a positive effect?

People may be embarrassed to admit having read it, that they sought help for human relations?

I read it relatively recently, I took some of its lessons on board. I am not a natural when it comes to making friends, however I must get on with people from backgrounds very different to my own, it has helped with that.

If you have read it, what did you think?
If you hate the idea of it, why?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Apparently it was like a bible for Marty1.

 

[weltweit]

Apparently it was like a bible for Marty1.

I seriously doubt he read even one chapter

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Everyone has heard of it; nobody has read it.

 

[weltweit]

Everyone has heard of it; nobody has read it.

The title is indeed well known, do you think people might sometimes not admit to having read it?

 

[Puddy_Tat]

it's been re-issued this year as 'how to influenza people'

 

[FridgeMagnet]

The title is indeed well known, do you think people might sometimes not admit to having read it?

I don't think anyone would be hesitant to admit they'd read it. If I had, I can't see why I'd pretend I hadn't. I just don't think anyone has in the last fifty years.

 

[Throbbing Angel]

Read it and listened to it on tape (tape!) about 25 years ago.

I used to be a Business Banker and we were all sent on week long courses in the 90's in order to sell more and sell better. Quite coincidentally I bought this to listen to on the way to Warwick Uni only to find a lot of the course was based on this kinda thing. It's quite basic stuff. Common sense. People just don't practice the principles.

It's quite outdated now. It was in the 90's too.

 

[weltweit]

Throbbing Angel I think you are right that a lot of it makes common sense, still a lot was news to me perhaps common sense isn't so common after all.

 

[Steel Icarus]

I've only heard it mentioned in a sarcastic way when someone is being a tosser, never in the context of someone having read it.

 

[Hollis]

I read it about 10 years ago. Its actually very good, and not what you might think it is.

To some extent it did 'change my behaviour' in that it highlights the pointlessness of moaning/complaining at people alot of the time - useful at work sometimes.

 

[weltweit]

I've only heard it mentioned in a sarcastic way when someone is being a tosser, never in the context of someone having read it.

It is a good point, no one irl read and recommended it to me.

But I think people who just know the title think it is a manual for attempting to manipulate people.

 

[Hollis]

If you want a slightly more bonkers book that was very popular a long time ago then this..

As the title suggests its about how to get rich. I seem to remember it being very weird. My boss at the time, an American psychotherapist, put me onto it.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

I have read it and been on the ten week course because a former boss swore by it.

As with all these things it is about a 3rd common sense, a third bullshit and a third useful.

 

[Fozzie Bear]

Can’t remember much about it now. It was very American though.

 

[weltweit]

I read it about 10 years ago. Its actually very good, and not what you might think it is.

I found it largely good. I can't remember all the suggestions but some have stayed with me.

To some extent it did 'change my behaviour' in that it highlights the pointlessness of moaning/complaining at people alot of the time - useful at work sometimes.

I try not to criticise, to avoid arguments and to own up quickly and apologise when I have made a mistake.

 

[Edie]

My 15yo son has asked for and been bought this for Christmas. In absolute seriousness.

 

[weltweit]

Can’t remember much about it now. It was very American though.

Yes, my version had apparently been updated, but still a lot of the examples were American and a bit dated.

 

[weltweit]

My 15yo son has asked for and been bought this for Christmas. In absolute seriousness.

Wish I could get my 21 year old son to read it, he is always getting into pointless arguments usually with his mum but also his housemates. He won't read it though, no chance.

 

[weltweit]

I don't think anyone would be hesitant to admit they'd read it. If I had, I can't see why I'd pretend I hadn't. I just don't think anyone has in the last fifty years.

To be fair, if you are perhaps someone with a wide circle of friends and whose relationships are in the main good, or perhaps you are a successful sales person where that also applies, you would have no need to read it and probably wouldn't self select as someone who might benefit from it. If you are not such a person and especially if you don't mind self help books that is when you just might seek out a copy.

 

[yield]

To be fair, if you are perhaps someone with a wide circle of friends and whose relationships are in the main good, or perhaps you are a successful sales person where that also applies, you would have no need to read it and probably wouldn't self select as someone who might benefit from it. If you are not such a person and especially if you don't mind self help books that is when you just might seek out a copy.

I'm genuinely glad that you've learnt something from Dale Carnegie.

But there are other and better wells to draw from.

I know from when I read it decades ago that criticism is often counter-productive.

A bit of reflection on how we interact with others is all for the good.

 

[Elpenor]

I read in my late 20s, a friend had read it for their work which was sales based. As someone who works in HR, but isn't actually very good at reading people or their social cues it was really helpful. I only borrowed the copy, so haven't re-read but the messages stayed with me. I remember at the time thinking how easy it was to read - which is a compliment - I wish the CEO where I work currently could communicate better.

Sometimes you don't know what you don't know, so a book which tells you what you need to know and weren't aware of is exactly what you need.

 

[Nikkormat]

I read it about 15 years ago. Nothing in it is rocket science, it's pretty much everything you would learn in training for a customer service role, but it lays it out clearly and simply. It is definitely a worthwhile read; I found it useful in my early days as a teacher.

 

[Edie]

Here he is round his Dads learning how to win friends and influence people in 2020. His hero is Warren Buffet and apparently Warren recommends it

 

[tufty79]

I've never read it; this is my main reference point

HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE by terrorvision c. 1994?

 

[JimW]

I decided on the Art of War instead: "When an action is advantageous, take it; when an action is disadvantageous, refrain from it." Astounding thinkers, these ancients.

 

[Doodler]

If you're in a bookshop and feeling bored, you can amuse yourself by moving copies of this . . .



. . . into the Self Help/Personal Growth section.

 

[Pickman's model]

My 15yo son has asked for and been bought this for Christmas. In absolute seriousness.

Yeh give him the prince next year.

 

[tufty79]

Yeh give him the prince next year.

 

[Pickman's model]

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