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Hipster overload: Cereal Killer Cafe opens

If your coffee tastes like earth it's been made wrong, coffee made from freshly ground beans is rather nice, if you don't like coffee, you don't like coffee. I never have and probably never will pay £6 for a pint of beer, but I do like to try a few different beers from the supermarkets when they're on offer. I'm aware that both beer and coffee have expensive 'hipster' purveyors but I'm not really well off enough to sample them.

Never been accused of being fashionable, I just think it's a silly idea, ripped off and without depth. And it was the hipster invasion that priced me out of Hackney so yes I do feel I'm allowed to have a bit of a go at them and make fun of their silly clothes.
^^^^^^
All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.
 
If your coffee tastes like earth it's been made wrong, coffee made from freshly ground beans is rather nice, if you don't like coffee, you don't like coffee. I have one cup a day from nice beans I buy myself as a treat, at work I'm happy with whatever the cafe serves, I won't pay extra for coffees with fancy names, most cafes are shit and leave the grounds in the grinder for hours anyway so whatever it is it tastes bitter.

I never have and probably never will pay £6 for a pint of beer, but I do like to try a few different beers from the supermarkets when they're on offer. I'm aware that both beer and coffee have expensive 'hipster' purveyors but I'm not really well off enough to sample them.

Never been accused of being fashionable, I just think it's a silly idea, ripped off and without depth. And it was the hipster invasion that priced me out of Hackney so yes I do feel I'm allowed to have a bit of a go at them and make fun of their silly clothes.
It's the estate agents and property developers who did that.
 
^^^^^^
All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.
What guff about coffee? I won't pay stupid money for fancy coffees but I've drunk a lot of coffee in my life and as long as the beans aren't over roasted, it was ground relatively recently and it's a quickish brewing method then it's a much sweeter, tastier drink than pre-ground in a drip machine and a completely different thing to instant. It makes me happy and it's readily available in reasonably priced establishments and at home. If you enjoy sweet colourfully packaged cereals then good luck to you, it's readily available in supermarkets across the country and even served in lots of normal cafés.
 
What guff about coffee? I won't pay stupid money for fancy coffees but I've drunk a lot of coffee in my life and as long as the beans aren't over roasted, it was ground relatively recently and it's a quickish brewing method then it's a much sweeter, tastier drink than pre-ground in a drip machine and a completely different thing to instant. It makes me happy and it's readily available in reasonably priced establishments and at home. If you enjoy sweet colourfully packaged cereals then good luck to you, it's readily available in supermarkets across the country and even served in lots of normal cafés.
More guff.
You can get coffee in supermarkets too.
 
I can't say I'm bothered if someone wants to try it. Shops can be profitable with all kinds of business models. Here's one that sells all kinds of soda pop:

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http://www.rocketfizz.com/
 
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Up to £1.50. I would turn up my nose at coffee in a cafe for over 2 quid on all but a very special occasion and always if I was having it alone.
So you could have a couple of cups of coffee and OU could have a bowl of cereal but he'd be wasting his money? :D
 
We've got a milkshake shop near us that makes milkshakes out of sweets. It's fun. The kids and students LOVE it. It was called Shakey Jakes. Jake fucking hated milkshakes, students and I suspect kids. He sold it eventually. It's called Shake It now but doesn't have the same ring to it and Jakes missed.

Three quid a pop but worth it. They were like a big pudding each!
 
The fellas who own the shop have grey beards
they have grey hair but dark beards :hmm:

tbh, I can't get upset about this - Hackney has been going this way for years, can't imagine going to this place, and Brick Lane has changing for years - don't they have a beach in one of the bars there in the summer?
 
^^^^^^
All that guff about coffee is the same shit that people sneer at when they talk about artisan bread and novelty cereal - we're all swimming in the same sewage.

Depends on the context. Some of those "sneers" are "what the fuck?"-ness at someone paying £6+ for a loaf of bread - it's a bit of a shock to the system when you can only afford to pay 20% of that at maximum for your loaf. If I want a sourdough rye bread, I have to make it myself, and the most "novelty" my cereal gets is "Choco Shells" from Lidl. :)
 
Open letter on their Facebook page:
Dear channel 4 News and Symeon Brown

I am writing this open letter of complaint to you because I feel what you have tried to do to me was completely unfair. I repeatedly told you I was too busy to do interviews, kept pushing me and pushing me even though I had a cafe full of customers wanting to be served. First of all you tried to blame me for the property prices in London before attacking me with questions about poverty.

I am a small business owner and am gambling everything I have in this business and you try to make a mockery out of me 4 days after 'small business saturday' when we are supposed to support small businesses.

I have a million things going on in my head and one of those things was about helping local charities as I am not the selfish **** you have made me out to be, although on my opening day I will admit it was not the most important thing for me. I have already been contacted by charities to provide breakfasts for underprivileged children in the area and I will be doing this come January but I wanted to get my cafe open and running first.

You obviously don't understand business if you think I don't have to put a mark-up on what I sell. It may be the poorest borough in London but let's not forget canary wharf is also in this borough but I am the one to blame eh? I am from one of the most deprived area in Belfast so me and my family know all about poverty but haven't had to blame the small business owners in the area for it, I have been taught a great work ethic and have made it this far without blaming small business owners trying to better themselves and make a future for themselves.

I still have to pay over the top rent for my premises and pay the 12 staff I have employed so I either have to make profit or I will be out of business. Maybe if I charged over £3 for a coffee and dodged all the taxes in this country like some cafés - the reporters would leave me alone would they?

If you want someone to solve the poverty crises in London I don't think I'm the man to do that as I am too busy trying to cure Ebola and get Kim Kardashian to keep her clothes on. Also you didn't even pay me for the cereal which you could so easily afford with your overpriced river island suit so I will send you a bill for the extortionate £3.20.

Yours sincerely
Gary keery (the worst person in the world)
Can't help feeling it's all a bit adolescent; "oh, I'm responsible for everything, am I?!", "the worst person in the world" :facepalm: I'm pretty sure that's not what the reporter was saying, more that he was asking questions about how much they'd considered where and what they were setting up.

I do think it was a bit of a dick move to ambush the guy in the middle of a very busy opening day, but the fact it seemed like he hadn't even considered the issues didn't reflect well on him either.
 
He is not to blame, no, him and others are meerly exploiting an oppotunity...his attitude and toys out of the pram letter speak volumes though. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, now it was the wrong time to interview him? No, he's just upset because the interview showed him up for not having the slightest clue where he has set up business.
 
He is not to blame, no, him and others are meerly exploiting an oppotunity...his attitude and toys out of the pram letter speak volumes though. They were courting the media in the run up to the launch, now it was the wrong time to interview him? No, he's just upset because the interview showed him up for not having the slightest clue where he has set up business.
Yup, pretty much.
 
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