Hairy Bikers (TV Cooks) Cause Mass Deaths

[danny la rouge]

"REHEAT RICE" SAYS HAIRY DAVE - millions die

TV's Dave From the Hairy Bikers has said that people should cook too much rice and save half to reheat the next day. This is well-known to cause death.

He gave the advice last night on their TV show, The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure, and millions are expected to follow it. Hospital emergency departments are on standby tonight, as the first national wave of reheated rice is expected to take effect.

Toilet paper​

However, health planners hope that if most of the viewers had not yet cooked chili with too much rice, as Dave From the Hairy Bikers urged, then it will be Saturday night before they reheated the left-over rice. This gives over-streched NHS staff more time to plan for the deluge.

"I hope his fans had had their tea," said one source. "We're stocking up on toilet paper already".

The show included suggestive scenes as the Bikers took turns to bounce on a large bamboo pole.

 

[EastEnder]

Philosophical query: If one actively chooses to cook "too much" rice, with the intention of saving half to use up the next day, can it accurately be described as "too much"?

If I cook twice the rice, in order to use half later, I would argue that I've cooked "just the right amount", and not "too much".

I would recommend pondering this conundrum whilst whiling away the hours on the bog, praying for the explosive diarrhoea to subside.

 

[Belushi]

It's going to end with a Hairy Jonestown

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

I went on a works food safety course in the 90s when I worked in a hostel. The tutor kept repeating how lethal rice was when reheated, how it was a salmonella playground etc etc. The chuckles from the middle aged Caribbean lady behind me got louder and louder. 'Is there a problem back there?'. 'Yes' came the reply, 'if what you say is true everybody in Jamaica should be dead.'

Nothing wrong with reheating rice - as long as its only once and you heat the bejesus out of it for 3 minutes. Half heartedly warming it up or leaving it to stand in a slightly cosy state like those all you can eat buffets is where you make troubles for yourself.

 

[DotCommunist]

pogofish

 

[danny la rouge]

I went on a works food safety course in the 90s when I worked in a hostel. The tutor kept repeating how lethal rice was when reheated, how it was a salmonella playground etc etc.

You weren't listening properly, then. I'll come and rip up your certificate.

It can contain Bacillus cereus bacteria, not salmonella. Reheating activates the Bacillus cereus bacteria.


(*You can retard the multiplication by adding spices, which is exactly what Dave Biker was doing).

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

You weren't listening properly, then. I'll come and rip up your certificate.

It can contain Bacillus cereus bacteria, not salmonella. Reheating activates the Bacillus cereus bacteria.


(*You can retard the multiplication by adding spices, which is exactly what Dave Biker was doing).

I was listening well enough - she said salmonella, you say Bacillus cereus.

'Salmonella, Bacillus cereus, Salmonella, Bacillus cereus - lets call the whole thing off.'

 

[joustmaster]

I cooked some rice on sunday, and have been reheating it all week.
I wonder if I will survive the day.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

I either reheat (or in fact don't reheat it at all, just eat as rice balls etc) rice the next day, about two or three times a week.
My family and I still linger on.

 

[danny la rouge]

My family and I still linger on.

Arses raw. But alive.

 

[billy_bob]

I always make too much rice then reheat it the next day. It's never killed me yet, or made me ill. Just put it in a sieve over boiling water for about three minutes and it's fine.

 

[EastEnder]

I was listening well enough - she said salmonella, you say Bacillus cereus.

'Salmonella, Bacillus cereus, Salmonella, Bacillus cereus - lets call the whole thing off.'

That was the old days, since then Salmonella's gone up market and moved on to quinoa. Bacillus cereus bacteria moved in shortly afterwards, claiming squatters rights.

 

[danny la rouge]

That was the old days, since then Salmonella's gone up market and moved on to quinoa. Bacillus cereus bacteria moved in shortly afterwards, claiming squatters rights.

Squitters rights.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Arses raw. But alive.

None of us have ever had the slightest problem whatsoever.

The most important thing is cooking it correctly in the first place. Should be fine for a day or even two after that if you get the cooking right.

 

[danny la rouge]

None of us have ever had the slightest problem whatsoever.

The most important thing is cooking it correctly in the first place. Should be fine for a day or even two after that if you get the cooking right.

I love the fact that even after all these threads, people still want to seriously discuss this. I was joking.

 

[billy_bob]

I love the fact that even after all these threads, people still want to seriously discuss this. I was joking.

I love the fact that you seem surprised that, on Urban, people keep wanting to talk about something we've had a gazillion threads about already.

 

[danny la rouge]

I love the fact that you seem surprised that, on Urban, people keep wanting to talk about something we've had a gazillion threads about already.

We need a sarcastic surprise smiley. Lazy Llama

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Poached eggs.

 

[EastEnder]

I love the fact that you seem surprised that, on Urban, people keep wanting to talk about something we've had a gazillion threads about already.

Just reflecting real life, innit. Conversations down the pub would become decidedly challenging if you had to think of an entirely novel topic of conversation every single time.

I imagine even the ancient Greeks used to congregate around the Parthenon, debating the perils of re-heating rice.

 

[Supine]

Much to the annoyance of Greek scholar pogofishikus

 

[moon]

I went on a works food safety course in the 90s when I worked in a hostel. The tutor kept repeating how lethal rice was when reheated, how it was a salmonella playground etc etc. The chuckles from the middle aged Caribbean lady behind me got louder and louder. 'Is there a problem back there?'. 'Yes' came the reply, 'if what you say is true everybody in Jamaica should be dead.'

We practically lived on mums reheated rice and peas when we were little..

 

[EastEnder]

We practically lived on mums reheated rice and peas when we were little..

Did you die often?

 

[FridgeMagnet]

The problem never arises if one simply eats raw rice.

 

[stupid dogbot]

I'm not sure I'd accept much more than a bacon sandwich off of a hairy biker anyway, tbh. And even then...

 

[rubbershoes]

Only people with weak constitutions will die. The rest will just get the shits and lose loads of weight.

That snippet should have been in their Hairy Dieters series

 

[EastEnder]

Only people with weak constitutions will die. The rest will just get the shits and lose loads of weight.

I can't say either of those hairy bikers chaps looks like they've lost loads of weight any time recently...

 

[Big Gunz]

A billion Chinese are wrong and dying prematurely of death by reheated rice? What a fucking dumb thread.

 

[JTG]

A billion Chinese are wrong and dying prematurely of death by reheated rice? What a fucking dumb thread.

Yeah danny

 

[Voley]

"REHEAT RICE" SAYS HAIRY DAVE - millions die

TV's Dave From the Hairy Bikers has said that people should cook too much rice and save half to reheat the next day. This is well-known to cause death.

He gave the advice last night on their TV show, The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure, and millions are expected to follow it. Hospital emergency departments are on standby tonight, as the first national wave of reheated rice is expected to take effect.

Toilet paper​

However, health planners hope that if most of the viewers had not yet cooked chili with too much rice, as Dave From the Hairy Bikers urged, then it will be Saturday night before they reheated the left-over rice. This gives over-streched NHS staff more time to plan for the deluge.

"I hope his fans had had their tea," said one source. "We're stocking up on toilet paper already".

The show included suggestive scenes as the Bikers took turns to bounce on a large bamboo pole.

I saw this and hoped half of U75 was watching too. I got really itchy feet seeing Hong Kong, too. Looks like my kind of town with all that ace street food everywhere. Made me 'homesick' for Bangkok which they're doing next week, I think. That'll probably be enough for me to buy a plane ticket. I've traveled halfway round the world on feebler excuses before.

 

[Bungle73]

They had this come up on some programme the other day. It was asked how they can sell precooked rice for people to reheat at home if it's not safe to reheat rice. The answer is that they, and you if you want to cook some to use later, cool it down as quickly as possible so the bacteria don't get a chance to multiply while it's hot.