There are lots of online communities for people with curly/textured/afro hair, with loads of advice about not using shampoo, or using non-sls shampoos, and not using silicones, etc.
There are quite a few products specifically made for textured/afro hair that have none of those ingredients. They're generally more common in the US, but there are websites over here with a decent range. They're often talked about in terms of a sliding scale of how textured your hair is, which generally refers to afro hair but can be useful in making sure you don't get something too heavy if you have fine hair.
I use a couple of lightweight sprays from Blended Beauty, after I've cleaned my hair, which seem to calm down the floof and the frizz. I tried co-washing for a while but didn't get on with it.
If you like the feeling of washing your hair but don't want to strip the oils, look at a non-sls shampoo. They don't lather as much, but they do cleanse. They tend to use emulsifiers from coconut, instead of sls.
Be aware an awful lot of conditioners have sls in them, as well as silicones etc.