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Film Reviews but the critic left early

You've been here long enough to be using the 'no avatars' skin, surely?
Most of the time I find avatars a convenient visual shorthand to remind me who posters are, it only gets confusing when you have two different posters who are both black circles. Or multiple posters who have avatars turned off and also their names start with the same letter, which is why I also think of you and Kevbad the Bad as being pretty much the same poster.
 
Against all odds, an overbearing drill instructor molds a fresh intake of cadets into disciplined young men whilst learning some new lessons himself. Featuring a passing out parade ending guaranteed to bring a tear to the eye
 
15 year old girl hooks up with charismatic James Dean lookalike and following a traumatic domestic incident they hit the road seeking a better life living off-grid in the midwest
 
Stylish gangster flick. Anonymous hero eventually gets a happy new legit life after an excellent Michael Gambon pays him £3m for some stolen ecstasy tablets.
 
Cynical but stylish nightclub owner gets to stay with the love of his life after her residence hero husband is captured by Vichy police.
 
Orphaned girl lives with her stepmother and stepsisters and talks to household vermin, despite this and other clear signs of parental neglect, no-one calls the authorities.
 
Lion kills his dad and goes off to live with a warthog and meerkat and they live happily ever after.
 
In small town America in the 1950s, a naive Australian girl realises that she's at the same high school as John Travolta and wisely stays away from him.
 
An elegant karmic parable in which an arms dealer gets grievously wounded and then kidnapped by terrorists while on a marketing visit to a warzone.
 
A group of ex US special force mercenaries
are asked to rescue a South American minister whose helicopter has been brought down on the wrong side of the border into a guerrilla-infested jungle, but they are not only too late to rescue him alive but discover they’ve been double crossed by the CIA agent embedded in the team, and the dead hostages were in fact a CIA agents.
 
Stop motion animation about a girl moving to a new apartment. Lots of famous English actors and a talking cat. Fun for all the family, especially tiny tots.


(Coraline)
 
I went to a convention for surreal comedians. People were lining up for the food, the soft drinks, the loos, everything. But for some reason there was no line for the big bowl of fruity alcohol. I was confused, so I asked one of the servers, and she said

...
 
I went to a convention for surreal comedians. People were lining up for the food, the soft drinks, the loos, everything. But for some reason there was no line for the big bowl of fruity alcohol. I was confused, so I asked one of the servers, and she said

...
"I guess no-one must like pina colada."
 
Atmospheric romance. When a famous author crashes his car on an isolated stretch of road, he is lucky to survive. A local resident rescues him and nurses him back to health. By happy coincidence, it even turns out she is a fan of his work.
 
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