Farting on a bike

[burnamericaburn]

While out on me bike the other night I had the urge to let a fart out, and amazingly couldn't do it while sitting down. I had to stand up to let the bubble out. Never thought much of it until (seconds later, it always is) another came and same again, had to stand up.

Has anyone mastered the art of flatulence while sitting down riding a bike?

Just curious, not perverted or owt like that.

 

[Greebo]

<snip>Has anyone mastered the art of flatulence while sitting down riding a bike?

Just curious, not perverted or owt like that.

FFS if you can fart while sitting on a chair, you can fart with your backside on the saddle, rather than out of it. Stop overthinking thngs.

 

[TitanSound]

I always like to stand, bend over and say "Initiate rocket booster sequence!!!". Much to my disappointment, I fail to get an afterburner like effect and normally have to stop for traffic lights.

 

[Onket]

While out on me bike the other night I had the urge to let a fart out, and amazingly couldn't do it while sitting down. I had to stand up to let the bubble out. Never thought much of it until (seconds later, it always is) another came and same again, had to stand up.

Has anyone mastered the art of flatulence while sitting down riding a bike?

Just curious, not perverted or owt like that.

This is the sort of thing I signed up to a messageboard for.

Great stuff.

More please.

 

[The Boy]

Given that VED is a tax on emmissions, I resolutely refuse to fart while riding my bike.

 

[Onket]

FFS if you can fart while sitting on a chair, you can fart with your backside on the saddle, rather than out of it. Stop overthinknig thngs.

Normally I tip/lean myself to one side to let it out. Obviously this can't really be done on a saddle.

Valid thread, should continue.

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

The best thing is getting to the front of a race, letting one rip and knowing that maybe 30 other riders gasping for air have to ride through your fartwash.

 

[mattie]

The best thing is getting to the front of a race, letting one rip and knowing that maybe 30 other riders gasping for air have to ride through your fartwash.

So that's why riders break away from the peleton.

 

[burnamericaburn]

FFS if you can fart while sitting on a chair, you can fart with your backside on the saddle, rather than out of it. Stop overthinking thngs.

So I gather, you've mastered the art. Please explain how?

 

[Pickman's model]

While out on me bike the other night I had the urge to let a fart out, and amazingly couldn't do it while sitting down. I had to stand up to let the bubble out. Never thought much of it until (seconds later, it always is) another came and same again, had to stand up.

Has anyone mastered the art of flatulence while sitting down riding a bike?

Just curious, not perverted or owt like that.

did you decide to stand up or was the emission of gas sufficient to involuntarily raise you from the seat?

 

[Greebo]

So I gather, you've mastered the art. Please explain how?

No. Work it out for yourself.

 

[The Boy]

The best thing is getting to the front of a race, letting one rip and knowing that maybe 30 other riders gasping for air have to ride through your fartwash.

There was a race at the start of the season were a rider decided to piss while riding their bike. At the front of the peloton. With a headwind.

 

[burnamericaburn]

No. Work it out for yourself.

But didnt you tell me 'not to over think things'

 

[Voley]

I like that this thread's in 'general sports.' D'you reckon they could make an Olympic event out of it?

 

[Greebo]

But didnt you tell me 'not to over think things'

"Don't dream it, be it"

 

[Frankie Jack]

This thread = too funny for this time of the day.

 

[Greebo]

I like that this thread's in 'general sports.' D'you reckon they could make an Olympic event out of it?

Probably not. How would you judge it?

 

[Voley]

How would you judge it?

Length. Volume. Stench. Noticeable speed increase due to fart. 'Artistic Flair'. That sort of thing.

 

[Greebo]

Length. Volume. Stench. Noticeable speed increase due to fart. 'Artistic Flair'. That sort of thing.

Mellifluousness? Implied wetness?

 

[Voley]

Syncopation. Fluidity. Grace.

 

[mattie]

Number of casualties?

 

[og ogilby]

So I gather, you've mastered the art. Please explain how?

This is the best method.

 

[Onket]

I like that this thread's in 'general sports.' D'you reckon they could make an Olympic event out of it?

Riding a bike is already several Olympic events.

 

[burnamericaburn]

This is the best method.

So thats how it's done?

 

[tendril]

First rule of farting whilst riding a cycle: look behind you first. Someone let an eye waterer out at a junction on my way to work and we all had to ride through it.

 

[The Boy]

First rule of farting whilst riding a cycle: look behind you first. Someone let an eye waterer out at a junction on my way to work and we all had to ride through it.

And had they not checked behind them first it would all have been for nought.

 

[burnamericaburn]

http://www.videobash.com/photo_show/This-youtube-comment-really-hit-home-29195

 

[moon]

First rule of farting whilst riding a cycle: look behind you first. Someone let an eye waterer out at a junction on my way to work and we all had to ride through it.

It was probably tactical, were they playing 'the game'?' http://www.itsnotarace.org/

 

[burnamericaburn]

This is the best method.

Is that Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy?

 

[burnamericaburn]

omgf.ac/ts/YcZ