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Dulwich Hamlet FC 2013-2014 season - chat, rumours, reports

But... but... we DO want to ban Topgear.

I wouldn't worry about Wealdstone. Do you remember that guy on twitter during the home game accusing us of being a bunch of middle class hipsters... who turned out to have a likely £100k+ 'Director' job at BSkyB? I'm still chuckling about that. Laughable muppet. In my mind this is now their typical fan: utterly comfortable middle-aged chartered surveyors with semi-detached three bedroom houses who accuse twentysomethings in precarious employment of being posh during their weekly 90 minute pretend-to-be-salt-of-the-earth sessions. Any mild anger they display is probably just sexual frustration. I hope their mouths are wide enough for my EIGHT INCH COCK OF JUSTICE tomorrow.
 
But... but... we DO want to ban Topgear.

I wouldn't worry about Wealdstone. Do you remember that guy on twitter during the home game accusing us of being a bunch of middle class hipsters... who turned out to have a likely £100k+ 'Director' job at BSkyB? I'm still chuckling about that. Laughable muppet. In my mind this is now their typical fan: utterly comfortable middle-aged chartered surveyors with semi-detached three bedroom houses who accuse twentysomethings in precarious employment of being posh during their weekly 90 minute pretend-to-be-salt-of-the-earth sessions. Any mild anger they display is probably just sexual frustration. I hope their mouths are wide enough for my EIGHT INCH COCK OF JUSTICE tomorrow.

A rhetorical strategy I call 'Faragism' these days. Tempted to bring my payslips.
 
A rhetorical strategy I call 'Faragism' these days. Tempted to bring my payslips.
Only last night at work I read in the Daily Express of Farage's "humble middle class background"... erm, the son of a stockbroker who went to Dulwich* College (current fees, £10k per term!)

* = Obviously, that fucking place will play a role in any popular conceptions of us being posh, even though it's hidden away, Hogwarts-like, right down the other end of Greater Dulwich. One bunch of Hemel fans last year tried to have their cake and eat it: calling me a private schoolboy and then singing 'only white man in Dulwich'.
 
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I know. The first time I ever even saw the place was when we took the train to Margate a couple of months back.

That's the cultural imagination of Cameron's Britain: that the son of stockbroker is somehow more of an outsider than the leader of the Labour Party, who's apparently part of the elite because his dad, a refugee from Nazi-occupied Europe, was a left-wing economist. Fucking get me out of here.
 
What will be weird tomorrow will be entering someone else's (month long) championship party, especially as we tasted such delights last year. Fair play to them, they totally took us apart in that 15 minute spell where they scored three times in the home match. Outclassed in a way that I don't think has happened for two years, maybe more. It'll be a bit of a sickener to hear it but at least they'll be enjoying themselves more than I imagine Shitehawk did.
 
I've registered on the other forum with another email address now


As for what Wealdstone are saying:

"They seem a disgracefully ignorant bunch.
The buggers have a white bloke with a witchdoctor stick, which he waves about for comedic effect. This is a disgraceful racist parody, clearly offensive to all Sub-Saharan African cultures. In my opinion, it's far worse than a honkie blacking-up. Should be banned.
Then there's the question of an entirely heterosexual team playing in pink. Clearly meant to mock the LGBTQ Community and clearly offensive. Should be banned.
Gentiles wearing navy blue is also dubious, in my opinion. Should be banned - just to be on the safe side.
And they have that "British Jobs For British People!" / "Send Foreign Nurses Back Home!" campaigner with them. Should be banned.
As an anti-racist gesture, I reckon the club should admit all black Dulwich fans for free tomorrow. It would cost the club some money - well, a whole fiver on a single student concession, judged on last Saturday's gate - but principle is important in these matters.
Free admission for anyone resembling Badly Drawn Boy, on the other hand, would be extremely damaging to the gate receipts.
Handing out free soap, free razors and aiming a fire-hose in the direction of visiting fans might also be an idea.

Right, who's coming down the pub this evening to join the Millerntor Roar?
Available on-line and on the big screen at all politically correct boozers:
St.Pauli - in their politically correct Sturm Abteilung shirts - up against Greuther Furth... whose most famous fan (and ex-youth player) is, of course, Dr.Evil himself: Heinz Alfred Kissinger. German, Jewish and a Yank. At DHFC, that's probably the equivalent of being a black Mohammedan homosexual at a Bernard Manning gig... provided you preface your Manningesque witticism with, "I'm not anti-semitic, but those Israelis..."

Time for my medication."

It's not all of them but I'm guessing there will be no love-fest tomorrow.


Therefore Vornstyle, your EIGHT INCH COCK OF JUSTICE will be more than welcome.
 
Blimey. Imagine if they ever played Clapton.

Some of them seem unhealthily interested in us considering they're romping to the title.
 
We played reasonably well against Wealdstone, which their fans recognised, but defensively they were on another level. With 800 games worth of experience between Little and McGleish, 10 years playing at this level with 2 play-offs the last 2 seasons, they have been way ahead of us ultimately. Our fixtures caught up with us. With a mix of tiredness and a run of hard games we've fallen way below them. We should have expected it really. Still, I'd love to beat them tomorrow to reignite our season and win the moral victory!
 
The buggers have a white bloke with a witchdoctor stick, which he waves about for comedic effect. This is a disgraceful racist parody, clearly offensive to all Sub-Saharan African cultures. In my opinion, it's far worse than a honkie blacking-up. Should be banned.
Not wanting to take this too seriously, but I'm sure our friend above will be delighted to know I did wonder previously about this having thrown the staff together from random pink & blue bits lying around the house, purely as a free alternative to getting a flag made, it did kinda look a bit like the 'classic' image of some sort of witch doctor stick (if you ignore the more obvious maypole comparison). Turns out that 'classic' image, much like cannibalism, is largely imagined and its reference points predominantly medieval/early-modern European in origin, and applying it to others is *drumroll* DEEPLY PROBLEMATIC.
 
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I've registered on the other forum with another email address now


As for what Wealdstone are saying:

"They seem a disgracefully ignorant bunch.
The buggers have a white bloke with a witchdoctor stick, which he waves about for comedic effect. This is a disgraceful racist parody, clearly offensive to all Sub-Saharan African cultures. In my opinion, it's far worse than a honkie blacking-up. Should be banned.
Then there's the question of an entirely heterosexual team playing in pink. Clearly meant to mock the LGBTQ Community and clearly offensive. Should be banned.
Gentiles wearing navy blue is also dubious, in my opinion. Should be banned - just to be on the safe side.
And they have that "British Jobs For British People!" / "Send Foreign Nurses Back Home!" campaigner with them. Should be banned.
As an anti-racist gesture, I reckon the club should admit all black Dulwich fans for free tomorrow. It would cost the club some money - well, a whole fiver on a single student concession, judged on last Saturday's gate - but principle is important in these matters.
Free admission for anyone resembling Badly Drawn Boy, on the other hand, would be extremely damaging to the gate receipts.
Handing out free soap, free razors and aiming a fire-hose in the direction of visiting fans might also be an idea.

Right, who's coming down the pub this evening to join the Millerntor Roar?
Available on-line and on the big screen at all politically correct boozers:
St.Pauli - in their politically correct Sturm Abteilung shirts - up against Greuther Furth... whose most famous fan (and ex-youth player) is, of course, Dr.Evil himself: Heinz Alfred Kissinger. German, Jewish and a Yank. At DHFC, that's probably the equivalent of being a black Mohammedan homosexual at a Bernard Manning gig... provided you preface your Manningesque witticism with, "I'm not anti-semitic, but those Israelis..."

Time for my medication."

It's not all of them but I'm guessing there will be no love-fest tomorrow.


Therefore Vornstyle, your EIGHT INCH COCK OF JUSTICE will be more than welcome.
Surely it's clear that this is tongue in cheek?
 
Dude probably watched Roger Moore's debut as 007 in 'Live and Let Die' three Sundays ago (much like I did) and thinks he knows voodoo (I don't). Thanks for the education. He probably thinks Muslims invented rape. Much like Tommy Robinson before he denounced the EDL. I though his reform might one day bring him to Champion Hill to embrace multiculturalism but I've just discovered he got 18 months for mortgage fraud. Some people just don't learn.
 
I'm sure it is but there are other posters on their forum trying to stir things up (a minority) with rational, right minded people trying to quell the sentiment. Personally, I'd just like a regular away day with our usual antics followed by a Dulwich victory. On twitter a few weeks back there were suggestions of segregation due to anticipated 1,000 + gate. Hopefully we can all just have a great day out tomorrow with no trouble and something to show for it at the end of the 90.
 
I really hope it doesn't get stupid tomorrow, I've been looking forward to this match for ages.
 
Their fans were great at Champion Hill. The mutual applause etc. Nice and loud. I'd take that over some of the moribundity we've come up against. A few moaners on twitter like the rich dude but hey, read City AM, it's nothing but rich people permanently moaning about how shitty their lot is. And putting partisanship aside, this is a fucking hilariously great photo:

hamlet-wealdstone-nov-2013-09.jpg
 


From the deepest south of England
To Scotland's northern shores
Then across the Irish Sea
To Ireland's drunken whores

From the Hackney fields in London
To Hyde Park, Leeds 6
We've carried the legend onwards
Drink, play and be sick

God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing
God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing

Travelled the wide world over
Sampled Clarets rare and fine
Never sampled nothing quite like Buckfast

Buckfast Tonic Wine
Buckfast Tonic Wine

From the 1 in 12 in Bradford
to the Button in Brixton town
Drank so many Buckfast
our heads spun round and around

To the Warzone Centre Belfast
where the locals join the fun
To the Temple Bar in Dublin
we got pissed in every one

God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing
God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing

Travelled the wide world over
Sampled Clarets rare and fine
Never sampled nothing quite like Buckfast

Buckfast Tonic Wine
Buckfast Tonic Wine

God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing
God bless those crazy monks, who kept the water flowing

Travelled the wide world over
Sampled Clarets rare and fine
Never sampled nothing quite like Buckfast

Buckfast Tonic Wine
Buckfast Tonic Wine
Buckfast Tonic Wine
Buckfast Tonic


the vocalist is wearing a st pauli shirt too....bloody lefties goin on about buckfast....
 
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