Adopted world's most frightened cat

[i'mnotsofast]

In January I responded to an advert offering a cat to a good home.

I've never owned a cat before, and I suppose I wanted it to be like a dog. Failing that, I would have been happy if it had been like my mate's cats who are friendly and come sit on your lap and purr and crave attention. Instead it seems like I have got the world's most terrified cat.

He's about 1 year old and had been living indoors in a small flat. Before that I think he'd had a couple of owners. I think he came from a rescue shelter. So probably he didn't have a good experience around humans as a kitten, so hasn't really been domesticated.

The people who gave him to me said that he was very nervous, and hid most of the time, but that after a month they had been able to pick him up, get him to play with toys, etc.

When I got him back here, he hid for a couple of days. Then I opened the patio door without thinking and he ran off. We thought he was gone for good, but then after a fortnight he reappeared at the lounge window. At first we'd put catfood in a bowl on the window ledge, and he would eat it there. Then we'd put the food on the desk by the window inside the lounge, and then on the floor further into the lounge. He comes inside to eat now, but he is very very jumpy. If I so much as move on the sofa, he shoots out of the window. So there's not much chance of us shutting the window.

I'm now quite used to seeing the cat's face at the window, it's quite funny seeing him nervously come in. Although it's freezing leaving the window open, and we've also had a neighbour's cat come in!. I suppose it is not doing any harm continuing like this, feeding the cat each night, accepting that it is terrified of us, but seeing if it gradually becomes more confident, spends more time inside the flat, and perhaps eventually doesn't bolt if we even try to approach it.

But I am used to soppy affectionate dogs, and quite frankly this cat is pissing me off, I am anthropomorphising and seeing it as a rude and ungrateful, which I know is silly when it is just a frightened animal. But I wonder can I be fucked to continue to feed an animal which gives nothing back.

From what I've written, is it fair to describe this cat as being feral? He doesn't snarl or scratch, but he is terrified of humans and won't let you near him.

Also, even though I realize that in time he can become a lot more comfortable around humans, he is never going to become an adorable lap-cat, is he? There's only so far that he can be domesticated, right?

And yet even though he pisses me off by NOT BEING A DOG, I can't see myself stopping feeding him.

Any advice much appreciated!

 

[i'mnotsofast]

 

[gabi]

Give him time. The cat in our last flat took a year to come anywhere near me when i first moved in (he had a very very difficult childhood)... but he slowly became more affectionate, altho never as affectionate as most cats ive known

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

I reckon he'll need some body warmth soon

 

[gaijingirl]

But I wonder can I be fucked to continue to feed an animal which gives nothing back.

Is this a joke?

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

Is this a joke?

Read second to last para

 

[gaijingirl]

Read second to last para

I've read the whole thing Minnie... can't say I'm massively impressed.

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

I've read the whole thing Minnie... can't say I'm massively impressed.

I'm getting the impression it's a bit tongue in cheek

I may be wrong though but I don't think he'd be leaving the window open in this weather if he didn't give a shit

 

[quimcunx]

I've read the whole thing Minnie... can't say I'm massively impressed.

people get pets for their own pleasure. Not for any other reason*. There are responsibilities too but people put up with them because they love their pet. What's wrong with admitting that the pet is only bringing them responsibility, no pleasure, and therefore reconsidering keeping it.

If people feel like people were judging them for changing their mind about a pet then they dump them by the side of the road instead of taking them to the pet home.

*except ratting or protection or whatever, but again that's for human purposes not animal purposes.

 

[skyscraper101]

We had a cat that was like this. Took AGES to get her inside, bringing the bowl closer and closer to the house, then inside to eat before running out again, then eventually the cat came in and was quite happy to eat and stay indoors, although never stopped being a little jumpy at times.

Put it this way, at least he's not going to sit on your laptop when your trying to use it, claw at the furniture, or refuse to budge from your favourite seat.

 

[geminisnake]

Way I see it was why offer the cat a good home if you really wanted a dog?? This poor thing has been shat on by a number of folks in a VERY short time, of course he's going to be bloody wary!!
We took in a feral cat years ago and tbh you wouldn't know she'd ever live wild now but it took time. She slept outside in the summer until a few yrs ago but she's well into her teens now.
Want to write more but got a class soon!

 

[quimcunx]

Try that felaway stuff.

But if your hearts not really in it get it rehomed or take it to the cat home.

 

[gaijingirl]

What's wrong with admitting that the pet is only bringing them responsibility, no pleasure, and therefore reconsidering keeping it.

Reconsidering keeping it is one thing. Reconsidering feeding it is another. Also it's pretty naive to take on a cat of all animals expecting it to be like a dog! Cats are pretty well known for not necessarily being the most responsive/grateful animals and having a more independent nature.

On top of that - it's only been a month... give the animal a bloody chance!

 

[Yu_Gi_Oh]

Awww the cat will come around, it sounds like it's had a very confusing time.

I've socialised my local stray cats using cans of tuna, so I'm sure you'll get yours to come round.

 

[i'mnotsofast]

Good post, Quimcunx. Obviously if I didn't give a shit about this cat I wouldn't be going out to buy cat food, sitting in the cold with the window open, and feeling like an idiot going "Here, kitty kitty" when it appears at the window, or sending long emails to its former owners about how it's getting on.

Why did I get the cat? Well one reason is we have got loads of mice! And like I said, I hoped it would be like my friend's soppy cats who sit with them on the sofa etc.

I suppose I could have turned it down when I turned up at the old owner's house and saw how frightened it was. But it took me an hour and a half to get there, and I guess not knowing much about cats I thought it wouldn't be so difficult to get the cat to become friendly.

 

[temper_tantrum]

Give the poor thing some time, why the heck should it trust anyone!
Acquired my cat in similar circumstances, she was still young too. It took her over 2 years to get properly settled with us (ie. not running away at the slightest thing), and she still runs away from anyone else, though she's got a lot better at coming and making friends than she used to be (had her over 6 yrs now).
It does sound as though this cat is beginning to relax around you though, just give it time. Does it have shelter outside the hous, like a shed or somesuch? Might be worth putting some blankets etc in there for it to sleep amongst, in this cold weather.

 

[gaijingirl]

Good post, Quimcunx. Obviously if I didn't give a shit about this cat I wouldn't be going out to buy cat food, sitting in the cold with the window open, and feeling like an idiot going "Here, kitty kitty" when it appears at the window, or sending long emails to its former owners about how it's getting on.

Why did I get the cat? Well one reason is we have got loads of mice! And like I said, I hoped it would be like my friend's soppy cats who sit with them on the sofa etc.

I suppose I could have turned it down when I turned up at the old owner's house and saw how frightened it was. But it took me an hour and a half to get there, and I guess not knowing much about cats I thought it wouldn't be so difficult to get the cat to become friendly.

One of our cats is/was the same.* For the first few weeks, she wouldn't even come out from behind the sofa when we were in the room/be in the same room as us. You just need to be patient I'm afraid. It's not necessarily going to become the lap cat that you hoped for so I guess you need to decide whether you want it around for the next however many years or not and if not find a home for it from someone with more realistic expectations.

*she has never become a lap cat fwiw and many cats don't.

 

[Kanda]

Get it put down? It's clearly never going to give any owner joy.

 

[i'mnotsofast]

Gajingirl - keeping it and feeding it are pretty much the same thing, aren't they?

The cat is only ever inside the house for as long as it takes to eat, anyway. We've got a garden and it's easy for the cat to get into all the surrounding gardens, so there's a huge area for it to wander. There was a two-week period when we didn't see him after he first got out, and he obviously managed to find food all that time. It's the kind of neighbourhood where there are loads of cats, and he could easily find some other house that would feed him.

But don't worry, I'm not planning on stopping feeding him.

 

[i'mnotsofast]

Give the poor thing some time, why the heck should it trust anyone!
Acquired my cat in similar circumstances, she was still young too. It took her over 2 years to get properly settled with us (ie. not running away at the slightest thing), and she still runs away from anyone else, though she's got a lot better at coming and making friends than she used to be (had her over 6 yrs now).
It does sound as though this cat is beginning to relax around you though, just give it time. Does it have shelter outside the hous, like a shed or somesuch? Might be worth putting some blankets etc in there for it to sleep amongst, in this cold weather.

There's no shelter in our garden. I'm not sure where he goes to sleep, but I've seen him go under the fence into the neighbour's garden. He has the run of many gardens so I'm sure can find somewhere under shelter to sleep.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Ultimately, cats are not smaller and fluffier versions of dogs - the way they behave, their body language, and the way they interpret humans' body language is all different. (that's why cats tend to approach someone who's sitting quietly and not making eye contact or a lot of fuss - not because the cat is deliberately targeting someone who's afraid of cats, but because their body language is more appealing to the cat than someone who's trying too hard to get the cat's attention)

I'd agree that it sounds like kitty here has not had good experiences with humans during his formative months, and you may find that the best you end up with is a cat who tolerates rather than enjoys your company.

Would construction of a kitty sized kennel in the garden be a half-way step? Occasionally moving blankets from inside the house to this kennel (and vice versa) might help kitty feel safer in the house which he clearly doesn't feel comfortable as part of his territory yet.

There's a fair amount of advice on cats protections' website - here

More about Feliway here

(edited to finished sentence - pressed tab key by mistake)

 

[Minnie_the_Minx]

There's no shelter in our garden. I'm not sure where he goes to sleep, but I've seen him go under the fence into the neighbour's garden. He has the run of many gardens so I'm sure can find somewhere under shelter to sleep.

Even if there's no shelter, you could find a big cardboard box or crate or bit of plywood and line it and make some kind of waterproof shelter for it

 

[gaijingirl]

Gajingirl - keeping it and feeding it are pretty much the same thing, aren't they?

The cat is only ever inside the house for as long as it takes to eat, anyway. We've got a garden and it's easy for the cat to get into all the surrounding gardens, so there's a huge area for it to wander. There was a two-week period when we didn't see him after he first got out, and he obviously managed to find food all that time. It's the kind of neighbourhood where there are loads of cats, and he could easily find some other house that would feed him.

But don't worry, I'm not planning on stopping feeding him.

If you don't want to feed it, give it to a shelter or someone who does want to feed it. You can't take a cat in from an advert looking for a "good home" to a cat and then just let it go off and fend for itself from your neighbours because it won't sit on your lap? What did you think the advert meant by a good home? You need to take responsibility for it. If you've changed your mind and don't want the cat, you need to find someone who does - not wash your hands of it.

 

[felixthecat]

took one of mine a year before she would sit next to you on the sofa - never on your lap, god forbid - that would be below her standards! It really does take time.
BTW I second the Feliway suggestion - its not cheap but I found it worked like magic. Good luck!!

 

[moose]

We had a cat that lived in a kennel in the garden for years and was scared of humans. He came in eventually, and even sat on laps in his latter years. It may take some time

Why don't you get a dog as well?

 

[i'mnotsofast]

It was quite funny a couple of nights ago when a neighbour's cat came in the window, looked up at me without a care, walked into the kitchen, then back through the lounge, across the hall, and into my bedroom. It's a big hairy cat, possibly a Maine Coon, with a collar and a bell.

"Our" cat then came in the window too, so now we had two cats inside. I tried standing up but "our" cat shot straight out the window. Then I went into my room to find the other cat, who I call Boss Cat because he doesn't seem afraid of anything.

There's not much point shutting the window when "our" cat comes back inside, is there? I mean he has gone from being an indoor cat, to an indoor/outdoor (but mostly outdoor) cat, and it seems it'd be cruel to coop him up indoors now. I'm not sure also if shutting him in would make him more comfortable around us, or even more scared because he felt we had trapped him...

 

[temper_tantrum]

There's no shelter in our garden. I'm not sure where he goes to sleep, but I've seen him go under the fence into the neighbour's garden. He has the run of many gardens so I'm sure can find somewhere under shelter to sleep.

Given the current very cold weather, perhaps you could make a small effort to provide him with some shelter, if he won't come into your house?

 

[lizzieloo]

I too can't understand why you got a cat if you wanted and are used to dogs.

A cat was never gonna be right.

You'll just have to carry on as you are, either that or find someone that wants a farm cat, reckon it'd be happier in that kind of environment.

 

[DotCommunist]

get it hooked on catnip, like you are a pimp

 

[Geri]

You can get special kennels for cats which are waterproof and draftproof. We have one in the garden, which we bought for our neighbour's cat as he had no shelter and never learnt how to use our cat flap, unlike the other one.

Jimmy was very nervous when we got him (still is) and it took a year for him to climb onto my lap. He has only done it once or twice since, although when he is upstairs on the bed he is much more relaxed and friendly. Any loud noise will send him running under the bed into his box though.