Your Terrible Christmas Film Recommendations

[Voley]

I think this Netflix Xmas offering might be the hit of the season.



Synopsis:

A widow still coping with the loss of her husband, has found solace in her art, creating ice sculptures as a way to channel her emotions. As Christmas approaches, she carves a snowman, pouring her heart into the piece. Thanks to a mystical scarf, this snowman unexpectedly comes to life, with the innocence, wonder, and charm of a winter creature experiencing the world for the first time. Plus he's hot, has the mind of a newborn and wanders round with his top off a lot.

Can anyone surpass this cinematic marvel?

 

[MickiQ]

We started watching that a few weeks ago, we're both massive suckers3 for Xmas romcoms but after about 20 mins we decided we just couldn't finish it.

 

[Voley]

How could a film about the love that blossoms between a woman and a fucking snowman be anything but awesome.

 

[Looby]

I know it seems like an odd line to draw but I can’t cope with anything involving magic snowglobes or snowmen coming to life.

 

[wtfftw]

It's on my watch list.

I'd also recommend Red One for silly Christmas action.

ETA: I know Red One is an actual cinema release but it's pretty bad.

 

[Saffy]

Reporting for duty!

I saw a really long trailer for this just this morning.

 

[pesh]

After ditching her Tinder date on Christmas Eve, record store owner Tori finds herself stuck with her employee Robbie for the night. But the night is still young. When the co-workers visit some friends in the neighbourhood, bent on binge-drinking and having fun, instead, they cross paths with Robo-Santa: an animatronic, military-grade killing machine. And as the malfunctioning unit embarks on a rampant killing spree in the town's snow-covered streets, Tori and Robbie must face a bloody battle against the odds and the electronic, axe-wielding Father Christmas.

 

[Sue]

I think this Netflix Xmas offering might be the hit of the season.

View attachment 452052

Synopsis:

A widow still coping with the loss of her husband, has found solace in her art, creating ice sculptures as a way to channel her emotions. As Christmas approaches, she carves a snowman, pouring her heart into the piece. Thanks to a mystical scarf, this snowman unexpectedly comes to life, with the innocence, wonder, and charm of a winter creature experiencing the world for the first time. Plus he's hot, has the mind of a newborn and wanders round with his top off a lot.

Can anyone surpass this cinematic marvel?

'It took a snowman to melt her heart.' Well that and a mystical scarf.

I wonder how much people get paid to write this shit and how I get a piece of the action.

 

[Sue]

I know it seems like an odd line to draw but I can’t cope with anything involving magic snowglobes or snowmen coming to life.

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

(And yes, I have a cold, cold block of ice where my heart should be. )

 

[Sue]

View attachment 452058
After ditching her Tinder date on Christmas Eve, record store owner Tori finds herself stuck with her employee Robbie for the night. But the night is still young. When the co-workers visit some friends in the neighbourhood, bent on binge-drinking and having fun, instead, they cross paths with Robo-Santa: an animatronic, military-grade killing machine. And as the malfunctioning unit embarks on a rampant killing spree in the town's snow-covered streets, Tori and Robbie must face a bloody battle against the odds and the electronic, axe-wielding Father Christmas.

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

 

[Silas Loom]

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

This. Every fucking time. And “bittersweet”. And “tender”.

 

[wtfftw]

Are you trying to say you don't like emotive music and soft focus christmas miracles?

 

[Sue]

Are you trying to say you don't like emotive music and soft focus christmas miracles?

Yes, yes I am.

 

[Silas Loom]

“Inspiring” can fuck off as well, although that’s mainly reserved for documentaries.

 

[petee]

This. Every fucking time. And “bittersweet”. And “tender”.

and "wise" and "knowing".

 

[Silas Loom]

and "wise" and "knowing".

“Humane” means all of the above, but dull to boot.

 

[A380]

So , I’m assuming that along with scarf and a couple of pieces of coal the female protagonist used two carrots in the construction of Frosty? Or is it not that kind of a film?