The Histories of Bouldergloves - A Dwarf Fortress Succession Game

[Crispy]

What of me oh mighty hermit leader? How do i serve you, do my children still live?

Well, you're well over the loss of your wife el_ahrairah five years ago. However, you grieve for your third eldest son, Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst in a hospital bed just this year. Your other children live on, but back home in Sackwalls.

Your older sister Yu_Gi_Oh still lives, as does Choc, your grandmother. You have some famous relatives. Maurice Picarda, #2 doctor of Bouldergloves is your nephew. xes, recently departed Axe Lord was your cousin. In fact, there are at least ten of your cousins here.

You are a High Master furnace operator, with not long to go before your reach Legendary status. You are ecstatic, without a bad thought in your dwarven head.

 

[stuff_it]

Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst

*snigger*

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

I'm sorta curious about my namesake.


it appears he does nothing of note while hanging around in a confined dark environment

all he needs now is a collection of pillows.

 

[Bob_the_lost]

Well, you're well over the loss of your wife el_ahrairah five years ago. However, you grieve for your third eldest son, Stanley Edwards, who died of thirst in a hospital bed just this year. Your other children live on, but back home in Sackwalls.

Your older sister Yu_Gi_Oh still lives, as does Choc, your grandmother. You have some famous relatives. Maurice Picarda, #2 doctor of Bouldergloves is your nephew. xes, recently departed Axe Lord was your cousin. In fact, there are at least ten of your cousins here.

You are a High Master furnace operator, with not long to go before your reach Legendary status. You are ecstatic, without a bad thought in your dwarven head.

Always doomed to be a back room techie type. Alas poor little Stan, rehab's a bitch.

 

[fuck seals]

Hmmm Crisps, I think the 'sucession' part of the game needs factoring in ...

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

actually the ones mans descent into insanity is much better

it's don crispote and we are his san patchos

 

[fuck seals]

No no I disagree, the one-dwarf fuedal system is not acceptable, and is pretty beardless in many ways.

We need the descent of many into madness, conflicting strategies, and mostly, this organised, well-baehaved and well-clothed equilibrum is most undwarvely. I suspect crisps is an elf.

Google 'boatmurdered'

 

[fuck seals]

I like 'Don Crispote' tho'.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

dwarffortress mmo?

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

I like 'Don Crispote' tho'.

he dreams the impossible dream

 

[Crispy]

I'm very nearly done with my grand plan, then I'll let fractionMan have a go and you'll get the chaos you're after

 

[fractionMan]

 

[fractionMan]

I am still trying to build walls up a hill without trapping dwarves.

 

[Crispy]

*cough* Railway *cough*

I should never have listened to you. This is a *PAIN IN THE ARSE* and it's not even any fun to write about. Should be well worth it though

 

[Crispy]

I'm sorta curious about my namesake.


it appears he does nothing of note while hanging around in a confined dark environment

all he needs now is a collection of pillows.

Well, you're a Legendary+5 miner, which is as skilled as its possible to be. You dig tunnels like a motherfucker. You have lots of friends, but being a founding dwarf, you don't have a single relative (this is a bug).

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I should never have listened to you. This is a *PAIN IN THE ARSE* and it's not even any fun to write about. Should be well worth it though

I did have a read of a wiki on how to create them, it made my brain melt

 

[Crispy]

This is the History of Autumn

10th Limestone, 133

twentythreedom is good carpenter. I order it brought to my chambers for installation. Queen Udil can keep her gold bed.

26th Limestone, 133

Tributer is structurally complete. If calculations are correct, one push is required to begin continuous operation. beesonthewhatnow volunteers for the job.

The cart turns one hunderd eighty degrees.

Falls down the feed chute.

Hits the collection channel.

Rises up the impulse ramp.

....and stops dead at the top.

I order more impulse ramps constructed at top level to send cart round delivery loop and wait for cart to be returned to start.

The season marches on. I promised to begin raising tribute before the year was out. Do not slack, dwarves!

23rd Sandstone, 133

Stuff_it takes turn at pushing. Cart makes journey down and back up.

This time, it sprints round delivery loop and heads for feed chute. The process repeats. The tributer is running. Now to load the tribute.

8th Timber, 133

Udil takes her first adult victim. We can spare the loss. It is my hope that with sufficient placation by the application of tribute, Udil's threat can be eliminated.

11th Timber, 133

The trade caravan has arrived. Now we are mountainhome and they are subjects. No liaison comes, for we know ourselves the wishes of our ruler.

At forge level, work progress on cart loading system. But work is interrupted by blind cave ogre. It got past traps with lower body wounds, but now stumbles around corridors.

It scares Me76 as he carves cart tracks into granite slope. Although the troll can not see, it can hear and feel. It soon strikes the unarmed dwarf down. I order every soldier to attack. Luck will choose the combatant.

Luck has nothing to do with it. Courage and bloodlust drive dotcommunist, champion of Bouldergloves into battle. He chops all troll limbs off before removing head.

Me76 is dead. Atir the cat waill find a new owner.

16th Timber, 133

As trade caravan pulls into Bouldergloves, a small squad of goblins springs ambush. Caravan gu ard is ready for fight, but I order our troops in to show country dwarves how we do things here in the big city.

Goblins harass merchant, but he scambles away. Goblins stab draft yak instead. Caravan guardsdwarf puts up spirited fight, allowing wagon to enter Bouldergloves unharmed, but it is pursued.

Soldiers of Bouldergloves arrive and quickly eradicate small threat. No casualties are taken, save for brave caravan guardsdwarf.

18th Timber, 133

A second ambush is sprung, as five goblin crossbows are spotted on blood hill. None are elite, so I order The Wires to fire from battlements.

It is premature tactic, as goblins head straight for entrance. Melee dwarves intercept and destroy.

 

[Crispy]

This is the History of Bouldergloves

11th Malachite, 134

It is done. My great work. My hands have stopped shaking and I can finally put pen to paper. Nearly a year has passed since my last diary. All that time and effort has led up to this day. I will recall it as best I can. May future generations of Bouldergloves read these words and know truthful events.

In the winter of last year, I realised that loading and dispatch of tribute would require power. I diverted overflow from upper caverns to lower caverns and tap flow to drive turbine.

rich! did brave mining to release flow

Which soon reached turbine hall.

This powered the pump, which allowed minecart to be filled, and rollers to guide it into the impulse ramp.

There were a number of artifacts produced that season, among them a fine barrel.

In Spring, further testing of Tributer with loaded carts resulted in derailment and carts falling onto Blood Plain.

With addition of guide walls at top of impulse ramp spiral, loaded carts could finally make their way to roof of Royal Palace.

It was spring of 134 when first successful load was deposited. But the following months saw further tinkering and calibration of the system. Maintaining adequate flow for turbine proved exasperating, as alternately too little and then too much water passed through. Minecart loading system was required to send multiple carts through to enable delivery of sufficient tribute in reasonable time.

It has been a long year. But today all the time, effort, materials and dwarven lives that have been poured into this project have been repaid a thousandfold. We had raised sufficient tribute to the roof of the Vampire Queen Udil's Royal Palace.

I received word that all was ready. I went to my bedroom. I gripped lever with both my hands and looked to ceiling. Six tiles above and eighty to the West, Queen Udil stood by her golden throne, secure and proud in opulent throne room.

I looked back down at my hands. Sweat made lever handle slippery. I gripped tight.

The lever slid into place. Through walls I could hear rattle of gears as my intent was delivered. On the roof of the Royal Palace, a small bridge made of chert retracted. And magma from the depths of the earth, raised fifty three levels by the machines of Bouldergloves, ran down the chute prepared for it and onto the head of the Queen.

Clouds of smoke filled the throne room. The golden throne melted.

When the smoke cleared, there was no sign of Udil. She has been vaporised.

11th Malachite, 134

11th Malachite, 134. The day when the citizens of the Bells of Thinning can at last walk out into their halls without fear. The shadow has been lifted. A new age has come. The Queen is dead. LONG LIVE THE DUKE.

 

[Stigmata]

You won the game of thrones

 

[Crispy]

I am done with dwarf fucking fortress for now and all.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

You utterly magnificent bastard

 

[tommers]

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I think that is nothing less than the most epic thing I've read in 12 years of posting here.

 

[8ball]

I can barely make any sense of it whatsoever.

 

[tommers]

I think that is nothing less than the most epic thing I've read in 12 years of posting here.

Yes. This. It's given me all the joy of Dwarf Fortress without having to devote the endless hours necessary to play the fucking thing. You should stick it up on the bay12 forums.

 

[Crispy]

Thank you, you've been a wonderful audience
I'm going to put a PDF version of the diary entries together, so it can be read through as one.

There's still a little bit of tidying up to do. frogwoman's ghost needs putting to rest (even though her body is interred already) cos she's giving bad thoughts to dwarves cleaning up bodies at the South gate. The minecart filling/propulsion system power supply in the basement is leaking and threatening to flood the forges. But otherwise, Bouldergloves is a stable, happy fortress. Does anybody want a go on it?

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

You keep going, I want to see where the Duke goes from here

 

[fractionMan]

I don't think I could step into your shoes. That was magnificent, truly magnificent

 

[Crispy]

As fun as it's been, I really have had enough dwarf fortress for now
If nobody takes up the mantle, I'll come back to it, but not for a while.

 

[DotCommunist]

I salute you