Shit soup warning thread - relentlessly shit soups only

[mrs quoad]

Have you recently bought a soup?

Was it shit?

Utterly shit?

And perhaps expensive, too?

If so, here’s your opportunity to warn other people about utterly shit soup they might have otherwise bought.

Here’s my contribution: Bol.

I saw these a fair few times before I bought them. “O, £2.50 for a wee pot of soup, that’ll be gr8 soup then.”

“Gr8 soup”? Is it bollocks. Barely fucking gr1 soup, and I’d argue the toss for gr0.

Waited until fucking payday until I got one, and bought two of the fuckers on a “need lunch” day. Turns out I missed the bit that advertises them as “protein soups” (the actual fuck?) and I have literally no idea what goes into the cunts, but I’m confident that the fat, pointless, thick plastic bowl is the main ingredient (by both weight and volume) closely followed by the c.200mls of water which constituted literally the only taste. Except sadness.

Actual “fuck you,” Bol. Literally the most appalling soup I’ve encountered in a good 20 years of (reluctant) soup buying. I’d take a single pouch of cup-a-soup, eaten dry, over any one of your ridiculously overpriced efforts - and at the same price n all - any day of the week.

Soup wankers.

 

[a_chap]

Soupist

 

[B.I.G]

No soup for you.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

fuck your soup

 

[farmerbarleymow]

fuck your soup

Fuck a soup?

 

[Edie]

Tinned soup is loads better than ‘fresh’ soup in plastic or cardboard.

 

[Thimble Queen]

I had a prawn soup and the black line hadn't been taken out. It was literally shit soup.

 

[Mrs D]

Beetroot and yogurt soup was in some weekend newspaper magazine the other day. It didn’t look any more appetising than it sounds.

 

[neonwilderness]

Beetroot and yogurt soup was in some weekend newspaper magazine the other day.

Didn’t it spill everywhere when you opened it?

 

[Thimble Queen]

Beetroot and yogurt soup was in some weekend newspaper magazine the other day. It didn’t look any more appetising than it sounds.

Yoghurt soup (kadhi) is well fit tbf.

 

[Grump]

I do like a Waitrose broccoli and Stilton soup, or any type of broccoli and Stilton soup really.

 

[mojo pixy]

At least it should be hot. Cold soup? Fuck off, baby food

 

[crossthebreeze]

yeah just stick to tinned, can't usually go wrong (minestrone is my usual), those "fresh" soups are mostly pants. Homemade soups ftw though.

 

[8115]

Excellent thread. I don't know if these soups succeed because the whole population buys them once or there are actually people who like them.

 

[spanglechick]

Lentil soup - especially when it hasn't got any bacon / chorizo in it. The fatty cured meat seems to make the lentil texture more smooth, and obviously tastes less cardboardy.

Other than puy lentils I'm not a huge fan of lentils anyway. They tend to have the dryness of that dusty stuff they used to use as padding in Jiffy bags. I mean, even when blended / softened in a soup, they have a bizarre kind of sawdust texture at odds with the liquidy nature of the dish.

I once nearly asphyxiated when the outer shell of a lentil caught in the back of my throat. Which you wouldn't get with cream of tomato.

 

[krtek a houby]

Not a huge fan of leafy based soups. Otherwise, yeah. Love sousp, broths and potages. Not sure which is which, mind.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Soup is good food

 

[gentlegreen]

Anything made by Heinz - nasty cloying stuff.
In fact pretty well all canned soup is nasty - except for a particular "diet" soup that has become a staple part of my zero preparation time veggie stews.
It's so nice, I'll eat it cold from the can.
My local Tesco stopped selling it so I have to walk quite a distance to Coop where it costs more.
(56p as opposed to 50p)

 

[Edie]

Edit: got soup and sleeper carriages muddled up!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Edie ! Wrong thread hun

 

[Yossarian]

I was going to say that all soups have redeeming features, then I remembered corn chowder.

Think I'm also going to steer clear of the new Chunky varieties:

 

[Poot]

Lentil soup - especially when it hasn't got any bacon / chorizo in it. The fatty cured meat seems to make the lentil texture more smooth, and obviously tastes less cardboardy.

Other than puy lentils I'm not a huge fan of lentils anyway. They tend to have the dryness of that dusty stuff they used to use as padding in Jiffy bags. I mean, even when blended / softened in a soup, they have a bizarre kind of sawdust texture at odds with the liquidy nature of the dish.

I once nearly asphyxiated when the outer shell of a lentil caught in the back of my throat. Which you wouldn't get with cream of tomato.

My kids surprised me the other day. I often make a good chunky lentil soup (you do need 2 stock cubes it it's veggie to replace meat) and they were desperate for it despite having lived on their favourite food on hols. My son missed out by going to his mate's house where he was fed chicken, chips, crisps and all the stuff he loves and doesn't normally get and was almost in tears when he realised he'd missed the lentil soup. Very, very odd children I have.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

My fav is probably oxtail

 

[JuanTwoThree]

I used to think that packet soups were uniformly shit. But for some reason this harira from Maggi is very good, perhaps because the heat hides the fake taste that bland packet soups have. I expect you can find it in UK

 

[A380]

 

[existentialist]

The only soups I properly trust are those I've made myself. A proud legacy from the days when my mum would sneak meat stock into anything she could, and proudly announce the fact when I'd said I'd liked something.

 

[circleline]

Those Ainsley Harriott posh cup-a-soups with interesting listed ingredients are amazingly shite.

Tesco once did an organic cup-a-soup that was absurdly delicious.

(Clear soup is the only soup that should ever be served as a starter at a posh and proper dinner party, apparently. JS.. )

 

[Puddy_Tat]

View attachment 144230

not shit soup though

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I was going to say that all soups have redeeming features, then I remembered corn chowder.

Think I'm also going to steer clear of the new Chunky varieties:

View attachment 144143

They look grim.

 

[A380]

I used to think that packet soups were uniformly shit. But for some reason this harira from Maggi is very good, perhaps because the heat hides the fake taste that bland packet soups have. I expect you can find it in UK

Knor in France ( not here for some reason disappointingly) used to do a packet Chicken noodle soup that was a bit better than ‘not bad’. Haven’t tried it for probably 20 years.