Dear God,
I've been a decent bloke most of my life, and in the last few years have largely lived according to your boy's principles even though I don't actually believe in either of you.
I know I've taken your name in vain on numerous occasions so you might frown on these two things I ask of you today, especially as they're biggies. I guarantee they'd make a lot of people happy. Yes, I know they're bigger fans of yours in Italy but they've won this before, and four world cups, so can you let England win tonight please?
Also I'm not sure of the procedure or proper wording to ask you to smite someone but if that grinning ballbag Branson could explode just before he reaches what he defines as space that would be great. cough Bezos too cough
Thanks in advance, it's coming 'ome, Jesus is my homeboy, etc.
Catsbum