Movies that you didn't see because they don't exist

[hitmouse]

Do you have any favourites? For instance, I reckon that if Joe Orton had made Up Against It with the Beatles, I reckon I might well quite like it, but unfortunately it doesn't exist and so I have never seen it and have no feelings about it either way. While checking to remember what it was called, found this list, which might be handy if you don't already have any favourite non-existent films: Best Films Never Made Archives - One Room With A View
I was vaguely thinking there must be a Nick Cave script that also ranked as one of my favourite films that I've never seen and no-one else has either, and looking through that list reminded me that I was thinking of his idea for Gladiator 2 where Maximus lives forever and ends up working at the Pentagon:

Best Films Never Made #6: Nick Cave's Gladiator II - One Room With A View

Maximus may have sailed to Elysium, but that didn't have to be the end... What happened when Russell Crowe and Nick Cave tried to resurrect the great hero?

oneroomwithaview.com

The Utterly Bizarre 'Gladiator' Sequel That Never Happened

Way before Ridley Scott agreed to do 'Gladiator 2,' a lot of strange ideas circulated.

collider.com

Anyone else got any favourite films that neither you, nor any other human being alive or dead, has ever seen?

 

[Numbers]

Gums - the sad story of a toothless shark

 

[DaveCinzano]

Do you have any favourites? For instance, I reckon that if Joe Orton had made Up Against It with the Beatles, I reckon I might well quite like it, but unfortunately it doesn't exist and so I have never seen it and have no feelings about it either way. While checking to remember what it was called, found this list, which might be handy if you don't already have any favourite non-existent films: Best Films Never Made Archives - One Room With A View
I was vaguely thinking there must be a Nick Cave script that also ranked as one of my favourite films that I've never seen and no-one else has either, and looking through that list reminded me that I was thinking of his idea for Gladiator 2 where Maximus lives forever and ends up working at the Pentagon:

Best Films Never Made #6: Nick Cave's Gladiator II - One Room With A View

Maximus may have sailed to Elysium, but that didn't have to be the end... What happened when Russell Crowe and Nick Cave tried to resurrect the great hero?

oneroomwithaview.com

The Utterly Bizarre 'Gladiator' Sequel That Never Happened

Way before Ridley Scott agreed to do 'Gladiator 2,' a lot of strange ideas circulated.

collider.com

Anyone else got any favourite films that neither you, nor any other human being alive or dead, has ever seen?

When I heard about the Gladiator 2 concept, I thought it sounded suspiciously like the 'Black Hawk' comic strip after it transferred from Tornado to 2000AD

Black-Hawk

The eponymous protagonist of the comic strip Black-Hawk was a Nubian slave who, through his prowess in the gladiatorial arena and his success as a revolutionary, became a centurion in the Roman army. Later, he was abducted by aliens and fought in another kind of arena for the benefit of...

britishcomics.fandom.com

 

[DotCommunist]

Jodorowsky's Dune and Gibson's Alien 3

 

[Yossarian]

Lost Girls - the Lost Boys sequel starring Drew Barrymore that Lost Boys director Joel Schumacher wanted to make.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Gums - the sad story of a toothless shark

A strip in Monster Fun from 1976 onwards

Gums

Gums was a strip created by scripter Roy Davis and artist Robert Nixon in Monster Fun #35 (February 1976) which later transferred to the pages of Buster, where it continued to appear until 12th May 1984. It concerned the rivalry between Gums, a villainous great white shark living off the coast...

britishcomics.fandom.com

ETA: Beach towel currently on sale

Gums Beach Towel - Rebellion Shop

Gums, the clumsy Chondrichthye with the false gnashers is now on a towel and ready for the beach!

shop.rebellion.com

 

[DaveCinzano]

Gibson's Alien 3

Vincent Ward's wooden planet was what excited me

 

[Orang Utan]

Tim Burton’s Nicolas Cage’s Superman

 

[bimble]

I am waiting for the next spin off from breaking bad which will be much better than better call saul, which was about 73 times better than the original show.

This one will be all and only about Mike Ehrmantraut, from circa 1946 to the present day. At least 100 episodes required.
His backstory, his time as a Bad Cop, what happened with his son, and his progression into the deadly sniper and cosy woodworking uncle we know and love. I think this will happen.

 

[Orang Utan]

I am waiting for the next spin off from breaking bad which it will be much better than better call saul, which was about 73 times better than the original show.

This one will be all and only about Mike Ehrmantraut, from circa 1946 to the present day. At least 100 episodes required. His backstory, his time as a Bad Cop, what happened with his son, and his progression into the deadly killer and cosy woodworking uncle we know and love. I think this will happen.

I doubt Jonathan Banks has got enough time left for this to happen

 

[bimble]

I doubt Jonathan Banks has got enough time left for this to happen

His face is so good.

 

[DotCommunist]

Christopher Moltisanti's 'Cleaver'

 

[Orang Utan]

His face is so good.

Look at it in 1995:

He now looks like he’s auditioning for the role of the Mock Turtle in a live action reboot of Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland:

 

[Reno]

David Fincher's Rendezvous with Rama

David Fincher's Rendezvous With Rama Is Not Happening - SlashFilm

David Fincher has been trying to get Rendezvous With Rama off the ground for some time now. Arthur C. Clarke's 1972 novel is set in the 22nd century, a group of human explorers, who intercept a thirty-mile-long cylindrical alien starship that passes through Earth's solar system, and attempt to...

www.slashfilm.com

Steven Spielberg's Night Skies (which still seeded the premise for E.T., Poltergeist and one aspect of Gremlins)

Night Skies - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

David Lynch's Ronnie Rocket

Ronnie Rocket - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[bimble]

i just learned that a thing exists called 'Doctor of Humane Letters' which he (Banks/ Ehrmintraut) very deservedly has been awarded.

 

[Orang Utan]

The Muppet Centipede will never be made

 

[hitmouse]

Christopher Moltisanti's 'Cleaver'

Long story short, it's about a private detective that gets sucked into the internet through his data port, and he's got to solve some murders of some virtual prostitutes.

 

[Spandex]

Stanley Kubrick's Napoleon.

A three hour epic staring David Hemmings and Audrey Hepburn as Napoleon and Josephine, featuring Alec Guinness, Laurence Olivier plus 40,000 Romanian soldiers and 10,000 cavalry as extras to give the mass battles the scale they deserved.

Killed off by the studio after the 1970 Waterloo was a flop.

 

[8ball]

The second, third and fourth Matrix films, which were kaiboshed by someone allegedly from a dystopian future telling the production team about what would happen.

 

[Orang Utan]

Stanley Kubrick's Napoleon.

A three hour epic staring David Hemmings and Audrey Hepburn as Napoleon and Josephine, featuring Alec Guinness, Laurence Olivier plus 40,000 Romanian soldiers and 10,000 cavalry as extras to give the mass battles the scale they deserved.

Killed off by the studio after the 1970 Waterloo was a flop.

They do exist though

 

[hitmouse]

Charlie Kaufman's completely straightforward and linear adaptation of The Orchard Thief.

 

[platinumsage]

“Commonwealth” starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Oliver Cromwell and Daniel Day-Lewis as Thomas Fairfax.

 

[ouirdeaux]

As far as I know, none of Christopher Brookmyre's novels have been filmed, apart from a TV version of Quite Ugly One Morning, which was pretty awful. Maybe that's a sign that they're unfilmable -- after all, that one's the shortest and simplest, and they still had to cut and conflate things, or felt they had to. But I've always felt that Brookmyre had an eye on a film version when writing, and there are times when I can almost persuade myself I've seen A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away.

 

[Pesty]

"Theodora" a Scorsese project with a script by Gore Vidal - about the Byzantine empress. According to Vidal in a 1994 interview: It was his idea, but my sort of subject. Theodora, a prostitute, marries the emperor Justinian and, between them, they restore the Roman Empire. We’re waiting on new technology, to show battle scenes without “Ben-Hur” prices. The “Jurassic Park” special-effects people are involved, I gather.

 

[A380]

The second, third and fourth Matrix films, which were kaiboshed by someone allegedly from a dystopian future telling the production team about what would happen.

It would have been ace if they had made sequels to The Matrix.

 

[T & P]

It would have been ace if they had made sequels to The Matrix.

Agreed. I would also love to have seen a prequel made to Star Wars, to see the origin story of Darth Vader.

 

[hitmouse]

Not a fillum, but would love to see the Ligotti X-Files episode:

The X-Files script that was too bleak to air

Cult horror author Thomas Ligotti explains why his nihilistic take on the sci-fi series never made it to TV

www.dazeddigital.com

 

[Idris2002]

David Fincher's Rendezvous with Rama

David Fincher's Rendezvous With Rama Is Not Happening - SlashFilm

David Fincher has been trying to get Rendezvous With Rama off the ground for some time now. Arthur C. Clarke's 1972 novel is set in the 22nd century, a group of human explorers, who intercept a thirty-mile-long cylindrical alien starship that passes through Earth's solar system, and attempt to...

www.slashfilm.com

Steven Spielberg's Night Skies (which still seeded the premise for E.T., Poltergeist and one aspect of Gremlins)

Night Skies - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

David Lynch's Ronnie Rocket

Ronnie Rocket - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

I don't remember much happening in the original novel of Rendezvous with Rama - they'd have to come up with something new for the script.

 

[Reno]

I don't remember much happening in the original novel of Rendezvous with Rama - they'd have to come up with something new for the script.

They would have had to beef up the characters and the plot as the novel is simply one of exploration but that's why you'd get a filmmaker like David Fincher in.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Early Doors: The Grapes of Daft