Living on the Fringes of Society

[Rock Bottom]

I am living in a foreign country.

By foreign, I mean very little common ground between the culture and language that I grew up with. I lived in New York for 2 and a half years, but never considered it to be that foreign.

I haven't been back to England for three years now, and know little about what is happening in current affairs or even in everyday life. I rarely contact any friends over there. I am becoming more and more disconnected by the day.

These forums have little relevance. I browse General, TV and Movies, etc, and feel there is nothing that I either want or am able to contribute to with any level of authority.

Do any of the overseas share the same apathy for their own roots?

 

[BlackSpecs]

...i am dutch ; was born in germany where i lived for 20years ; have been in the u.k. for 8 years and am about to move to paris.........home is where your heart is .

 

[gnoriac]

I'm back in the city where I was born and I can find very little connection with people here, or the rest of the UK, probably. I was in Thailand for nearly 3 yrs and it looks like the effect was somewhat irreversible.

 

[fela fan]

Do any of the overseas share the same apathy for their own roots?

Mostly, yes.

I think this is normal. They always said travel broadens the horizons, but i think getting outside of your own home broadens you. It's not where you go per se, but the fact that you've gone. The more different the place where you go to, the more different you become to your roots. Hence this feeling that you are no longer the same as your roots.

Your outlook changes, and it can never go back to what it was.

Incidentally i like your use of the word 'overseas'. I can't stand the word 'expat' and all that it connotates!

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Who needs to move overseas to be on the fringe of society? Some of us just plain don't fit. That ok, I'd hate to be one of those poor normal people.

 

[Fidel]

Sounds like your a bit depressed mate! Should pass though.

We all got older and move on even if we dont want to, happens to those who stay in the same place too.

 

[BettyButterfly]

Who needs to move overseas to be on the fringe of society? Some of us just plain don't fit. That ok, I'd hate to be one of those poor normal people.

 

[Rock Bottom]

They always said travel broadens the horizons, but i think getting outside of your own home broadens you. It's not where you go per se, but the fact that you've gone.

Broadens you in some ways, narrows your perception in others. It will take many years to truly integrate within Chinese culture, and the will to do so. I feel left in a sort of cultutal no-mans-land.

Incidentally i like your use of the word 'overseas'. I can't stand the word 'expat' and all that it connotates!

My wording was careful, for this very reason.

 

[kakuma]

i do a little bit, i've been here for a year and 3 months, but tbh i never felt any ties with 'society even when i lived in england, i have a very close family and group of friends, so i will always feel tied to them....

good post tho, i definetely know where you are coming from....

 

[fela fan]

Broadens you in some ways, narrows your perception in others. It will take many years to truly integrate within Chinese culture, and the will to do so. I feel left in a sort of cultutal no-mans-land.



My wording was careful, for this very reason.

Well mate, i don't think i will ever integrate truly into thai culture. I've reached a sort of stage where i'm about 60 thai and 40 english.

But the real benefits i think are that in many ways i'm not either. I'm floating in some kind of comfortable nether nether world that allows me to escape the clutches and shackles that any society puts around its citizens. In fact, for many years when i lived in bkk i integrated nicely into thai life, but almost all my going out was with non-thais. I had a fantastic decade being free: not constrained from living in england, not expected to conform to being thai.

Look on the positive side mate!

 

[Rock Bottom]

Well mate, i don't think i will ever integrate truly into thai culture. I've reached a sort of stage where i'm about 60 thai and 40 english.

But the real benefits i think are that in many ways i'm not either. I'm floating in some kind of comfortable nether nether world that allows me to escape the clutches and shackles that any society puts around its citizens. In fact, for many years when i lived in bkk i integrated nicely into thai life, but almost all my going out was with non-thais. I had a fantastic decade being free: not constrained from living in england, not expected to conform to being thai.

Look on the positive side mate!

Yes, we live outside the shackles of British culture, but there is no escaping the fact that you, myself, Ninjaboy, et al, are - at the end of the day - British citizens. Can we continue to be overseas teachers for the rest of our days?

I am sure each one of us occassionally engages in acts which may be seen as immoral behaviour back home, yet we do it without guilt. Our moral codes are eroded to such an extent that we can't distinguish them as good or bad.

Ninjaboy is occassionally accused of irrelevant postings and polls, but is this party symtomatic of not actually being connected to society any more? The polls are pointless to the majority of urbanites simply because he has no cultural reference points - no common ground.

So, while we are all on a course of self-enlightenment, we are drivingly irratically off-course from our upbringing and accepted modes of conduct. I imagine I would be something of a bore if I ever returned to England.

 

[pinkmonkey]

Hey RB - I'm in your city on Mon,Tues, Weds, next week. Would be great to hook up, but I can't promise anything, might be sitting in the factory on my own eating chow fan at 11pm as is traditional. BUT pm me your number and if I'm free we should try to meet.

 

[Rock Bottom]

Hey RB - I'm in your city on Mon,Tues, Weds, next week. Would be great to hook up, but I can't promise anything, might be sitting in the factory on my own eating chow fan at 11pm as is traditional. BUT pm me your number and if I'm free we should try to meet.

Sounds like a plan.

Clear your mailbox, and I will send you the details.

 

[pinkmonkey]

Box cleared.

 

[Gavin Bl]

Who needs to move overseas to be on the fringe of society? Some of us just plain don't fit. That ok, I'd hate to be one of those poor normal people.

No, its alright really.

 

[kakuma]

there is a big difference between living in europe and living in asia. i spent a year in italy, and while obviously it was different to england, there is so much common ground, between europeans (even east europeans seem to have the same assumptions about a lot of things)

tbh tho rb, my posting inane threads on here is more due to not being able to go to the pub than anything else, i was kind of the same in england except i wasn't on here as much

 

[ice-is-forming]

i live in Aus and am totally involved in the whole thing, kids, home, work, community, study, politics etc...but i still enjoy discussing stuff on u75, afterall i lived in the uk for over half my lifetime i still feel part of it.
mind you homesickness is the pits but i doubt i shall ever return.

i think its the british sense of humour that i enjoy on these boards so much.

but aus is my home now, it took a long bloody while to feel comfortable here tho.

 

[machine cat]

I haven't been back to the UK in almost two years and although I feel homesick at times I know that if I went back I would feel disconnected from my own countrymen/friends/family.

Of course I am in many ways disconnected from Chinese culture and society but I don't want to turn native in any way. I am who I am whatever country I am in.

Think about England for a while and a lot of the subjects that are discussed on forums such as these. If work, soap operas, and binge drinking doesn't appeal to you I suggest you head off down to a lovely Zhuhai beach or take a day trip to HK or Macau. You have it a lot better than most of the people back in blighty!

 

[Rock Bottom]

I haven't been back to the UK in almost two years and although I feel homesick at times I know that if I went back I would feel disconnected from my own countrymen/friends/family.

I think that most people replying accept this fact........a sad, but true consequence.

Of course I am in many ways disconnected from Chinese culture and society but I don't want to turn native in any way. I am who I am whatever country I am in.

I am not turning "native" as such, although I am definitely losing parts of my identity. I suppose you could argue it's a natural transition.

Think about England for a while and a lot of the subjects that are discussed on forums such as these. If work, soap operas, and binge drinking doesn't appeal to you I suggest you head off down to a lovely Zhuhai beach or take a day trip to HK or Macau.

How about binge-drinking on a Zhuhai beach! Now that's the best idea I've had all week! Cheers for that drcarnage......I was in danger of completely wasting my May holiday for a while there.

You have it a lot better than most of the people back in blighty!

I find it hard to disagree.

ps. I am Plan B on the other forum, in case you didn't know.

 

[fela fan]

Of course I am in many ways disconnected from Chinese culture and society but I don't want to turn native in any way. I am who I am whatever country I am in.

And that is so much easier when you're outside your own country. You get the chance to be who you really are.

The point about turning native in your new country (of choice) is that you don't do this. Otherwise you're just swapping one place for your original place.

Live in the nether world, in the twilight, not here or there. But where you are.

That's the point in emigrating as i see it.

 

[machine cat]

I know where you're coming from but as a 老外 in China you do reap lots of benifits and are able to forget about a lot of the worries that most people back home think about (rent/morgage, food, tax). However, I do get that feeling that i'm wasting my time here.

 

[machine cat]

And that is so much easier when you're outside your own country. You get the chance to be who you really are.

Exactly, although you do see the negative side to this: all the sexpats that you see knocking about round this side o 'world.

 

[Jessiedog]

I am living in a foreign country.

By foreign, I mean very little common ground between the culture and language that I grew up with. I lived in New York for 2 and a half years, but never considered it to be that foreign.

I haven't been back to England for three years now, and know little about what is happening in current affairs or even in everyday life. I rarely contact any friends over there. I am becoming more and more disconnected by the day.

These forums have little relevance. I browse General, TV and Movies, etc, and feel there is nothing that I either want or am able to contribute to with any level of authority.

Do any of the overseas share the same apathy for their own roots?

You have contributed a huge amount to these boards RB. Many people respond to you, you are valued.

Your experience is normal. You are expanding your horizons and your mind. Enquiring. Listening. Engaging. Challenging yourself.

This is all good!

The battle lies within.

The confusion that is concomitant is just the chaff that gets in the way of seeking the kernel.

Keep seeking the kernel.

You only get one life, what is the truth?

I am privileged to know you. You are someone who is not only engaged in an honest enquiry, but also has the intellegence, empathy, compassion, understanding and openness - and the willingness to listen - to be able to learn.


Welcome to the game.


The richness and depth of the enquiry is the joy of living. It is the journey, not the destination.

The destination is death.

It is the very nature of life.

The journey is the enquiry.


What is the truth?



I don't know.

But I'm fucking gonna keep enquiring as hard as possible, and keep being as honest and gentle and compassionate as possible with everyone else along the way.

And usually, I enquire too gently and am too lax in my honesty and gentleness towards others.



And yet, in that glimmer of my self awareness lies the very hope of coming closer to the understanding - solace, even - that I seek.

At least I've got this far, wherever I may be......

"The batttle lies within."

What is the 'truth' Master?

Ahhhhhhhh.

I see what you are looking for, Grasshopper.



As much as 'wisdom' can never be anything other than the burning desire for Wisdom, 'truth' will never be anything other than the burning desire to know the Truth.

It is 'The Way'.

(Copyright: Jessiedog Productions @ 2006)

All that is gold does not glister,
Not all those who wander are lost,
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

((((Rock Bottom))))

You are one of the good ones.


Where does Love come into all of this Life stuff?



Take care friend. I Love you.




(Edit......By the way, you were supposed to be heading down here for Golden week you lazy bum .)

Blessings RB. And all.



Woof

 

[s.norbury]

the destination is not death, it's fuzz and it's good

 

[Jessiedog]

the destination is not death, it's fuzz and it's good

I guess you are "young" then?

Keep seeking.



(Unless you mean that death preceeds the fuzz. I guess that's possible.)



Woof

 

[s.norbury]

I have never sought anything.

WOOf

 

[Jessiedog]

I guess you are "young" then?



Woof

Blessings to you and yours.



Woof

 

[Rock Bottom]

(Edit......By the way, you were supposed to be heading down here for Golden week you lazy bum .)

Sorry about that. Friend in town, and genuinely and truly lazy. Be prepared for a last minute plea for a place to stay, as I may need to do a visa run in the next 3 months or so.

 

[ice-is-forming]

wish i knew you Jessiedog you are tres cool. ***be still my beating heart***oh hang on that was my wagging tail thumping on the floor.

 

[Jessiedog]

Sorry about that. Friend in town, and genuinely and truly lazy. Be prepared for a last minute plea for a place to stay, as I may need to do a visa run in the next 3 months or so.

Keep in touch RB.



Woof