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Horrible Mansplainy Video about "Nice Men"

Miss Caphat

Miss Caphat

I want it that way


This came up from a site that generally has quality content. :confused: Anyway, I just wanted to share because I haven't been able to get this horribleness out of my head since yesterday. Basically it's about how "nice" men are all having violent sex fantasies all the time, and are under tremendous amounts stress due to having to supress their urges, and that if women don't want their "nice" men to abandon them, they should cater to these depraved yet healthy, normal, manly desires (regardless of how we might feel about this or what our own desires might be?). Reminds me a lot of the "blue balls" myth we all were faced with as teens. :rolleyes:

Thoughts, Urban?
 
stuff_it said:
What blue balls myth? :confused:
Click to expand...

sorry, I meant more "we" in the sense of me and my American peers. Blue balls was a thing young men supposedly got if you got them excited and didn't finish them off. It was supposedly very painful (and would turn one's balls blue? :hmm: )
 
my viz book of terms and my own experience of jokes with mates had 'blue balls' as meaning you hadn't had a wank/shag in a while and was feeling the need quite keenly. Nothing like the myth you describe of it being painful miss caphat. Maybe thats a US thing? Viz book does only cover UK vulgarities after all.
 
Miss Caphat said:
sorry, I meant more "we" in the sense of me and my American peers. Blue balls was a thing young men supposedly got if you got them excited and didn't finish them off. It was supposedly very painful (and would turn one's balls blue? :hmm: )
Click to expand...
I must have emigrated before talk turned to such things.
 
Not sure the semantics of blue balls is really the point here! Let's focus :D

the reason I mention it is this video seems to imply that men's repressed sexual urges are somehow women's responsibility, and that we should feel bad for not catering to them.
 
About the video: methinks Mr Nice Guy needs to see a therapist if he's so stressed about the idea that he has nice thoughts and 'bad' thoughts.

Guess what, duck. We all do. And the reason we keep some of them for our inner voice is because we're not cunts and we care about others. But when you've got a good relationship with someone there's also honesty. I'd expect there are plenty of things most couples talk about that they would never say in front of anyone else. Not just sex stuff, but the odd bit of off-colour humour, that sort of thing.

The idea that it's only poor old Mr Nice Guy who has some things he says and some things he doesn't is some serious victim complex. But of course, that video is all about accusing the evil feminists of not letting Mr Nice Guy be Mr Fucking Wanker without consequence. Poor Mr Nice Guy.
 
Vintage Paw said:
About the video: methinks Mr Nice Guy needs to see a therapist if he's so stressed about the idea that he has nice thoughts and 'bad' thoughts.

Guess what, duck. We all do. And the reason we keep some of them for our inner voice is because we're not cunts and we care about others. But when you've got a good relationship with someone there's also honesty. I'd expect there are plenty of things most couples talk about that they would never say in front of anyone else. Not just sex stuff, but the odd bit of off-colour humour, that sort of thing.

The idea that it's only poor old Mr Nice Guy who has some things he says and some things he doesn't is some serious victim complex. But of course, that video is all about accusing the evil feminists of not letting Mr Nice Guy be Mr Fucking Wanker without consequence. Poor Mr Nice Guy.
Click to expand...
Yeah, this is it.

I don't know why it has to be about men. Surely it's just people :confused:

I wonder whether they do one about how teachers have to try really hard not to say "sit the fuck down" out loud. Or how social workers are better off not actually saying the words "sort your fucking life out".

Fuck off, Mr Nice Guy.
 
A quick search shows that it's linked to

:thebookoflife.org:

Which is linked to:
:theschooloflife.com:

So perhaps they are serious. Completely wrong of course but serious.

All nice guys were bullied at school were they? Its those experiences which lead them to be nice to others despite their base desires. What bullshit.
 
Poot said:
Yeah, this is it.

I don't know why it has to be about men. Surely it's just people :confused:

I wonder whether they do one about how teachers have to try really hard not to say "sit the fuck down" out loud. Or how social workers are better off not actually saying the words "sort your fucking life out".

Fuck off, Mr Nice Guy.
Click to expand...

It's almost as if the have some sort of agenda.

getting really sick of this MRA stuff all over the web, personally. disguising it with a soft-spoken English narrator, and trying to pass it off as educational/informative just makes it more insidious imo
 
Miss Caphat said:
It's almost as if the have some sort of agenda.

getting really sick of this MRA stuff all over the web, personally. disguising it with a soft-spoken English narrator, and trying to pass it off as educational/informative just makes it more insidious imo
Click to expand...
its gone beyond web as well. FabricLiveBaby! on here made an interesting set of connections between various strands from gamergater to rationalwiki sorts, libertarians, hard rightists. All on the gamergate thread iirc

then it spills into attempted rigging of book awards like the Hugos by various reactionary twats abusing a slate system. List goes on.
 
There are some valuable things to be said about the aspects of traditional gender roles that lead to some men taking on the "nice" role but ending up neurotic and self-hating. If there was anything I'd like to teach younger men based on my experience it's how the "nice guy" position is bullshit. It's poisonous stuff.

I don't think this video helps in the slightest tbh. One of the things that _isn't_ valuable is "women are to blame for this"—the misogynist way out is just part of the structural poison.
 
DotCommunist said:
its gone beyond web as well. FabricLiveBaby! on here made an interesting set of connections between various strands from gamergater to rationalwiki sorts, libertarians, hard rightists. All on the gamergate thread iirc

then it spills into attempted rigging of book awards like the Hugos by various reactionary twats abusing a slate system. List goes on.
Click to expand...

Yeah I have learned a lot from threads on the subject here, including the recent Roosh V thread.
 
spanglechick said:
No, it comes up in sex ed here, that boys will try and claim that it can hurt them if they get hard but don't come.
Click to expand...
I remember that from when I was a teenager. I was confused because I knew it wasn't actually true, until I realised that it was just something to try to make girls feel guilty enough to have sex with you, which didn't really seem like something great.
 
Vintage Paw said:
About the video: methinks Mr Nice Guy needs to see a therapist if he's so stressed about the idea that he has nice thoughts and 'bad' thoughts.

Guess what, duck. We all do. And the reason we keep some of them for our inner voice is because we're not cunts and we care about others. But when you've got a good relationship with someone there's also honesty. I'd expect there are plenty of things most couples talk about that they would never say in front of anyone else. Not just sex stuff, but the odd bit of off-colour humour, that sort of thing.

The idea that it's only poor old Mr Nice Guy who has some things he says and some things he doesn't is some serious victim complex. But of course, that video is all about accusing the evil feminists of not letting Mr Nice Guy be Mr Fucking Wanker without consequence. Poor Mr Nice Guy.
Click to expand...

Yep, this. Idiotic video.
 
There is an interesting conversation to be had about the disjunct between our fantasy thoughts and our actions. But this isn't how to have it. It's offensive and it's rather, well, puzzling that it seems not to have occurred to the makers that this applies to women too. The ignorance is staggering, tbh.
 
It doesn't make any sense. I mean, yeah, I have rude thoughts and I don't shout them out at the till in the supermarket but so what? The video is completely baffling. It doesn't ring true with me as a man at all. This isn't an issue I'm struggling with. All people have some amount of inappropriate thoughts passing through their mind much of the time, regardless of what genitalia they've got wobbling around in their undercarriage.

It doesn't even seem to have done decent market research on what I presume to be its sexist target audience. It's just confusing and a bit strange. The idea that guys are are dead horny and women are frigid ice maidens is a problem that doesn't exist. The sex thing can get worked out by a couple in a pair of simple conversations. What does it mean?

I just don't understand really.

All help welcome.
 
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