Horrible Mansplainy Video about "Nice Men"

[Miss Caphat]

I don't hate that video. I don't agree with all of it, but its heart seems to be in the right place. I like how gender- and sexuality-neutral it is.

I'm not saying I disagree with you...it does seem like it has good intentions

however, it seems very much from a male point of view again, even though on the surface it might not appear as such

The problem with the theory as far as gender neutrality is that men for whatever reason experience a vastly higher degree of fetishism, and again I think the focus is too much on exploring fetishes (and maybe kink) as a way to mutual understanding and sexual fulfillment.

I think there is a lot more that can get in the way of "good sex" than just not exploring fantasies together. A lot of it can be emotional or about non-sexual stuff happening between partners. It can be about time of day, and about place, and mood and all sorts of things not mentioned in this video. These are just some examples, and perhaps they are more on the feminine side fwiw.

It's just that it's a very complex topic and I find it ironic that the premise seems to be about trying to understand your partner yet it seems to be again from a very male-oriented perspective. And since women statistically have a harder time experiencing fulfilling sex (physically, at least), that makes that skewed perspective a bit more annoying.

The video is suggesting there's "one weird trick" to good sex when there's really not. Communication is key but steering a conversation towards one thing (i.e. divulging "weird" fantasies) with the exclusion of a other types of dialogue could backfire and make your partner feel even more alienated an unconnected.

 

[Falcon]

Thoughts, Urban?

Thoughts? My thought is it’s the sort of thing you have to come up with when your unverifiable pseudoscientific core ideology is about as accurate as astrology at predicting observable reality, and you’re therefore forced to spend your time inventing more unverifiable auxiliary theory to account for the core’s lack of explanatory power.