Horrible Mansplainy Video about "Nice Men"

[Miss Caphat]

...It doesn't even seem to have done decent market research on what I presume to be its sexist target audience. It's just confusing and a bit strange. The idea that guys are are dead horny and women are frigid ice maidens is a problem that doesn't exist...

I also think its target audience is women. Particularly young, impressionable ones or those who haven't had a lot of real / honest intimate relationships with men enough to say "wait a minute, this doesn't really ring true or in any way appropriate" and instead might be scared into submission by it. But why?

probably just another effort to try to regain some of the stuff men "lost" to feminism, another way to portray the sexes in very polarizing terms which always seem to convey that men's needs (not just sexual ones) are bigger, greater, more primal, and therefore superior, and that these are biological facts. Because, you know, women haven't had to adjust at all to changing social roles or put up with decades / centuries of miserable crap

 

[friedaweed]

It's a wind up. Troll bait.

 

[toggle]

wow!

so it's all men's sexual fantasies. it's all about them. and because they are men, they want their fantasies to become reality. can'[t expect them to tell the difference between something they wank over and something that is actually going to happen.

women are all sex negative. women dont watch porn, dont have fantasies. they are actually nice. as in not sexual. not like nice guys, who are actually sexual, but just repressed. manginas is the term used for that. the man who says what women want them to say, rather than being a real man. and men who repress their masculinity cant think properly. cause they are too busy oggling the waitress, or fantasizing about your sister.

and because women dont have sexual desires of their own, their only way for fulfillment is to be what a man wants them to be. because that will make everyone happy.



i wonder if anyone has actually realised that we don't live in the victorian era anymore, and that the victorians weren't half as hung up about sex as the victorian values crew are.

 

[Miss Caphat]

that about sums it up, I think toggle

to add to that...some men may ogle waitresses, and so may some women, but whatever your gender or level of niceness, if you're too busy ogling waitresses or thinking about screwing your friend's sister to pay any attention to said friend's story about a traumatic experience of a close family member, I think the problem may be YOU and not societal norms / feminism, and to attempt to normalize that behavior is just bizarre.

 

[toggle]

as though women don't oggle.

of course we do.

it's just that we'[ve learned the manners to be a bit more subtle about it and not actually drool over what we like the look of, or stand there fondling ourselves.

fuck all to do with desire/attraction, all about differing social expectations

 

[Miss Caphat]

as though women don't oggle.

of course we do.

it's just that we'[ve learned the manners to be a bit more subtle about it and not actually drool over what we like the look of, or stand there fondling ourselves.

fuck all to do with desire/attraction, all about differing social expectations

I think most men have done so too, and that it's not a huge deal for any of us. If I were to find myself unconsciously ogling someone while my friend was talking about something very serious, I would probably feel a twinge of guilt, then a quick thought about how funny human nature is/laugh at myself, and get on with listening to her story. Not sure if that equals some terrible oppression of my god-given right to be true to my own nature at the expense of other's feelings. It's called being a grown up.

 

[toggle]

I think most men have done so too, and that it's not a huge deal for any of us. If I were to find myself unconsciously ogling someone while my friend was talking about something very serious, I would probably feel a twinge of guilt, then a quick thought about how funny human nature is/laugh at myself, and get on with listening to her story. Not sure if that equals some terrible oppression of my god-given right to be true to my own nature at the expense of other's feelings. It's called being a grown up.

yes.

the whole thing is a toxic diktat on what makes a real man.

real men think about sex al the time and need women to fulfil their needs.

it's a justification for the men who consider women that way.

like the rapists who think all men think like them, just some are in denial.

 

[Johnny Vodka]

Without knowing what site that's from, it's hard for me to tell whether it's a joke or not. Irritating voiceover and it doesn't contain anything universal.

 

[FNG]

Seems like the sort of nice guys that Jezebel.com describe as the type of man who sees acting (with the emphasis on acting) nice as a means to an end and who become angry and frustrated when the act doesn't result in a date or sexual gratification .

 

[Gromit]

I was only pointing it out.
That not hypocracy.

Hypocracy would be criticising it heavily for being troll bait. You are therefore made of fail.

 

[Voley]

It doesn't make any sense. I mean, yeah, I have rude thoughts and I don't shout them out at the till in the supermarket but so what? The video is completely baffling. It doesn't ring true with me as a man at all. This isn't an issue I'm struggling with. All people have some amount of inappropriate thoughts passing through their mind much of the time, regardless of what genitalia they've got wobbling around in their undercarriage.

It doesn't even seem to have done decent market research on what I presume to be its sexist target audience. It's just confusing and a bit strange. The idea that guys are are dead horny and women are frigid ice maidens is a problem that doesn't exist. The sex thing can get worked out by a couple in a pair of simple conversations. What does it mean?

I just don't understand really.

All help welcome.

Yeah, it's really weird. I find it confusing, too. As lbj says above, there is an interesting discussion to be had about peoples fantasies and reality but going about it like this is bizarre, frankly.

The tone of the speaker didn't help either. I was willing him to shut the fuck up by the end.

 

[equationgirl]

Without knowing what site that's from, it's hard for me to tell whether it's a joke or not. Irritating voiceover and it doesn't contain anything universal.

What makes you think it's a joke? What's funny about it?

 

[Johnny Vodka]

What makes you think it's a joke? What's funny about it?

Nothing's funny about it, but not all jokes are funny. I just wondered what the point of it is, who it's aimed at, and if it's meant to be serious.

 

[Santino]

Nothing's funny about it, but not all jokes are funny. I just wondered what the point of it is, who it's aimed at, and if it's meant to be serious.

Real misogyny or ironic misogyny?

 

[stethoscope]

Nothing's funny about it, but not all jokes are funny. I just wondered what the point of it is, who it's aimed at, and if it's meant to be serious.

The site it comes from has been posted upthread. Here.

 

[Johnny Vodka]

The site it comes from has been posted upthread. Here.

One site to avoid then.

 

[Johnny Vodka]

Real misogyny or ironic misogyny?

I just found it a bit annoying and bizarre. If anything, I thought it was sexist towards men and a misrepresentation of men, as if this is what all 'nice' men think.

 

[stethoscope]

That Book of Life site has a whole section on painting Capitalism in a good light.

 

[butchersapron]

These lib-dem party political broadcasts are getting worse each year.

 

[Santino]

I just found it a bit annoying and bizarre. If anything, I thought it was sexist towards men and a misrepresentation of men, as if this is what all 'nice' men think.

Of course you did.

 

[alfajobrob]

That video was a nauseating pile of shitfuck!

Why anyone would spend the time and trouble to even create it is beyond me. There are some sad fuckers in this world.

 

[SpookyFrank]

No, it comes up in sex ed here, that boys will try and claim that it can hurt them if they get hard but don't come.

I dunno about 'try and claim', it's an actual thing that happens sometimes.

Obviously this does not mean that women are obliged to perform sexual acts when they don't want to, but it does happen.

 

[Gromit]

Yeah, it's really weird. I find it confusing, too. As lbj says above, there is an interesting discussion to be had about peoples fantasies and reality but going about it like this is bizarre, frankly.

The tone of the speaker didn't help either. I was willing him to shut the fuck up by the end.

You made it to the end?!!

 

[Voley]

You made it to the end?!!

Astonishingly, yes. I was really cringing by then mind.

It's a pity because there is a good discussion to be had in there but, fuck me, they took it in the shittest direction possible.

 

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

Wow what a shocking video.
All nice guys are actually thinking about fucking about with other women and extreme sexual depravity, and women should induldge them in every way???? While I was watching I was just thinking about who made the animation and who did the voiceover, how did they agree to do it. It seems like a very specific and personal opinion owned by one very sad and probably not very 'nice' man.

 

[littlebabyjesus]

That vid reminds me of a comment by Germaine Greer years ago, when she said that women don't realise how much men hate them. Greer was wrong with that generalisation - she thinks she understands men, but she really doesn't, her understanding is of a caricature of a self-obsessed man-baby. Presumably, Greer would watch this vid and say 'told you'. Very depressing - it manages to be patronising both towards women and men.

 

[butchersapron]

Wow what a shocking video.
All nice guys are actually thinking about fucking about with other women and extreme sexual depravity, and women should induldge them in every way???? While I was watching I was just thinking about who made the animation and who did the voiceover, how did they agree to do it. It seems like a very specific and personal opinion owned by one very sad and probably not very 'nice' man.

The voice-over is alain de botton who is part of this whole money making project. I suspect he wrote it as well with John Armstrong.

 

[Orang Utan]

I've never liked Alain De Botton much but in surprised he'd come up with this shit

 

[butchersapron]

I've never liked Alain De Botton much but in surprised he'd come up with this shit

It's what he's been selling for 20+ years now! These horrible little stories.

 

[alfajobrob]

It's what he's been selling for 20+ years now! These horrible little stories.

I now feel compelled to google the fucker - he gets money for shit like that?