Tl;dr
Or what
SpookyFrank said…
I always assumed this was the same as saying:
“If their country is so unsafe and under attack from someone or there’s some other danger, why are they sending the military aged men overseas? Why aren’t they defending their homeland and womenfolk? There’s obviously something goin on here that’s not about safety. Why are they leaving their women and children in the face of danger?”
So: cowardly, dishonourable, not doing their job as men, liars etc. In the flush of youth and strength but abandoning their families to something they themselves won’t face.
The truth is that the young strong healthy men leave/ are selected to go because they are most able to survive the journey, least likely to have immediate dependants, and can more likely to find low level jobs at their destination and survive a narrow pinched life at their destination if necessary.
I once spoke with a refugee from Ethiopia who had been chosen by the whole family to come to the UK. He was a teacher at home. He’d been here 6 months and he was street homeless. He was deeply ashamed that he’d not been able to set himself up and send money home, so he’d not been in contact with them. Yes, he agreed, they were no doubt very worried about him but the family had collectively saved up the money for his journey and he didn’t feel able to get in touch with them unless/until he could at least repay that debt. I offered him some money but he refused to take it unless he could sing a song in return. He launched into The Beat’s Stand Down Margaret. After that I asked for an Ethiopian song, which made him embarrassed, as if I’d asked him to reveal something private. We had a long chat and shared some food. I think of him often. I wonder how he’s doing.
I spoke with two young Sudanese men. Well, barely men: 19 and 20 years old. They’d walked out of their country and made their way here, the two of them together. It had taken them nearly two years to get over here. They were being housed in a Christian hostel of some sort, a place with associations with their home church. One of them was keen to go back as soon as he could because his father had died and his family needed a man there; the other wanted to stay.
The burden of being the young fit strong man weighs heavy. The conflict between
stay and protect, support VS forge a new life elsewhere and share it with those back home is impossible to fully understand even for those without direct experience. Such thinking is beyond the capacity of bigots. So they come up with the spurious “stands to reason” interpretation that arises from their own prejudices and fears.
Also what
Spymaster said