Wot? No Apprentice 2013 Thread?

[weltweit]

Sugar will go with the botox. She claimed that for a £300 treatment the profit will be £149. That's all Sugar's interested in.

Gross profit though surely, there are rent and rates, salaries and all sorts to take into account after that before you get to a bottom line return on investment. I suspect Luisa's idea will have a lower cost base.

 

[kabbes]

Yeah, 50% gross margin on retail is not that great.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Yeah, 50% gross margin on retail is not that great.

Depends on the value of the product though, botox is not normal 'retail' is it, blurred more with a service.

 

[kabbes]

50% gross margin on retail service is even worse!

I'm sure the business model is just fine, but it's not as straightforward as 50% gross profit = excellent profit.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

50% gross margin on retail service is even worse!

I'm sure the business model is just fine, but it's not as straightforward as 50% gross profit = excellent profit.

We get around 11.5% gross

 

[smmudge]

The show's producers must have known from the beginning about Jordan's business plan, but decided to keep him in anyway for the lols.

 

[kabbes]

We get around 11.5% gross

What are you counting in your gross?

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

What are you counting in your gross?

The gross profit

How much money we make from fees and commissions. Before overheads and shit.

 

[kabbes]

So you are working on 13% before wages and rent?

13% of what, though? You are selling high priced holidays and stuff, but presumably it's not 13% of the whole holiday?

 

[Dan U]

EBITDA

if you are american.

 

[Smyz]

Slightly concerned to hear a doctor outlining how they plan to cut corners on cleaning their clinic.

 

[kabbes]

EBITDA

if you are american.

That's what I would have thought, but I can't work out what is costing the 87% that is leading to a 13% gross profit.

 

[magneze]

They all fawned over Neil. The most terrifying contestant of them all.

 

[Part 2]

It's the first time Neil's had a tear in his eye!

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

So you are working on 13% before wages and rent?

13% of what, though? You are selling high priced holidays and stuff, but presumably it's not 13% of the whole holiday?

13% before wages, rent etc.

We don't sell holidays, but what we do sell can be high priced (business class to LA is £9K), but the majority of what we sell is £300-500ish.

 

[belboid]

belboid
Who gets fired has nothing to do with task performance, it is all about the business plans. They may as well not even bother with the tasks, frankly, at this point it is nothing more than an extended Dragon's Den.

Myles got fired because Sugar doesn't want to be in that business. Jordan is still there because Sugar isn't sure about his business plan so wants his smarter friends to have a look at it for him.

well, this proved to be quite wrong! Jordan was clearly kept in for one reason and one reason only, nothing to do with anyone's business plan, it was Project Humiliation. All about the telly, same as when the 'field of ponies' idiot was kept in the other year, everyone knew he was about to be thrown out, but, wow, what telly.

I should condemn it as cruel, but Jordan was an unpleasant little shit anyway, so fuck him.

 

[gosub]

given they are now trying to class exec jet trips as "package holidays" so they can whack 20% tax on it, might have to up your prices soon

 

[belboid]

Gross profit though surely, there are rent and rates, salaries and all sorts to take into account after that before you get to a bottom line return on investment. I suspect Luisa's idea will have a lower cost base.

Food outlets generally go for 25-33% costs on food, altho I cant quite work out exactly what Luisa's business really is. Selling food or baking goods? Twas clear as mud.

I can see Leah's business will have a very high profit margin, in the short term at least, if only because such a business has to be run by a medical professional who will demand a bloody high salary, so unless there's a high margin, they just wont get involved. And we did see a bit in the interview which kinda backs her up - 'you've put down you'll make £267,000 profit in the first year, thats absurd' - but then she went through the figures and showed him why it wasnt. No doubt she has been over-optimistic about year one growth, but her figures (as far as we can tell) are basically sound. It's a field where people make a killing.

 

[joustmaster]

The number 5 just came into my head

This is still making me laugh.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

given they are now trying to class exec jet trips as "package holidays" so they can whack 20% tax on it, might have to up your prices soon

Not that we sell holidays, but package holidays have no tax on anyway? The commission travel agents earn on a package holiday is VATable, but that gets claimed back.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

It's a field where people make a killing.

Yup. How often do you see cosmetic surgeons driving around in a G-reg Nissan?

 

[gosub]

Not that we sell holidays, but package holidays have no tax on anyway? The commission travel agents earn on a package holiday is VATable, but that gets claimed back.

More the government is trying to reclassify flights as "package" and tax accordingly (and your gross is less than 20%)

 

[RedDragon]

It's the first time Neil's had a tear in his eye!

Didn't want to take the day off work when his Dad died because it was a sign of weakness.

 

[Stigmata]

Didn't want to take the day off work when his Dad died because it was a sign of weakness.

I wouldn't give him a hard time over that personally. People react to that sort of thing in funny ways

 

[weltweit]

Still Neil's demise was quite catastrophic, he went from favourite to loser in the time it takes to say "business plan!" ...

 

[RedDragon]

I wouldn't give him a hard time over that personally. People react to that sort of thing in funny ways

True enough, but for him to still see it as a virtue eight years later does give some insight.

 

[Santino]

True enough, but for him to still see it as a virtue eight years later does give some insight.

I don't think he did see it as a virtue, just an example of how driven he had been.

 

[weltweit]

I don't think he did see it as a virtue, just an example of how driven he had been.

Someone told me this a while ago:

No one on their deathbed ever said they regretted not spending more time at work!

Wonder what Neil would say about that.

 

[DexterTCN]

I wouldn't give him a hard time over that personally. People react to that sort of thing in funny ways

Like not mentioning it until you're under pressure during a brutal interview?

 

[bouncer_the_dog]

I have a distinct feeling the producers know fuck all about business. I would be very surprised if they actually saw through Jordan's business plan well enough to plot setting him up. As it is Jordan's plan was not as bad as all that, the problem was it didn't fit into the shows artifice. Bald Man who was rude to him is not actually that impressive IMO, he is just a rude plonker. Jordans plan seemed to me to be possible in the real world. Just not in the Apprentice. For instance if he was able to convince an Angel Investor to chuck £250k at a tech company which would be re-structured to make him, computer man and Investor all equal parties or whatever it could happen. But 'The Apprentice' is locked into a 50/50 deal with £250k. So while the interviews episode was probably the closest it got to actually having anything to do with business or entreprenuership it was still total bollocks.

Saying that Margaret did manage to make Jordan look like an utter cock 'I've always been so much more intelligent than those around me...' etc. etc. But if you stick someone infront of a camera for long enough they'll say anything..

As it is Sugar is not very wealthy and not a very successful business man. And the people advising him are dodgy as fuck. The shows produces know sod all about business too. So not only is it car crash TV but it is a mangled wreck of a business idea in any sort of actual reality based perspective.

Which is why I find it such riveting TV.

I reckon baking because Plastic Surgery is tough to scale and she's too new to the profession.