That all sounds like excellent advice,
Fez909, and I'm grateful. Grateful to all who answered, in fact, as it's an attempt to keep my brain from completely turning into mud.
Well, I've messed up the "I do it in the library" thing, as I said I had net access at home, but then again, I have a temperamental computer, a not-very-good-broadband with the dreaded Talktalk, and I could very well find that I "have" to do it in a library. But I don't understand how that would involve not being logged in. I mean, most things I use, even if it's someone else's computer, I just log in as me, and Bob is suddenly my new uncle.
Actually, I had better steer clear of that one. It's a very long time since I was in a public library, and it's in the same area as the Jobcentre, in fact a bit further away, and it's unlikely I'd want to go out if I wasn't forced to, and it would be damn expensive.
However, the advice about how to fill in the "activity history" - give the data they want but make it as unlike readable information as possible - is very good.
I should count myself lucky at the moment, as I got kicked off ESA and have to apply for JSA. Have asked for a Mandatory Reconsideration, and when that fails, I shall appeal*, so the DWP woman said that for a while (dunno if she means till Mand. Reconsideration failure, or till appeal failure), she will only require me to be logging on to Universal Jobmatch 3 times a week rather than every day. <grateful pleb bows head, mutters "thank you kindly ma'am">
What I should do is use this time to try to learn all the rules and stuff so as to avoid getting sent to do unpaid workfare in Poundland or whatever when they turn the heat up. Oh, yeah, and fill in all the application for Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit and shit. In fact, my real horror of today was how to manage to get to the bloody place, so I'm in nowhere near the same scary place as poor sods already getting sanctioned etc. (Yet)
But sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof, and this evening there will be cheap plonk and unhealthy sausages and chocolate. Perhaps not all together.
* and when I appeal, I shall bloody well remember to seek advice from anyone and everyone, and to try to get to the Citizens Advice people, and try to arrange permission to record the whole interview, and possibly see if I can get anyone to accompany me to the interview, and ... and - oh - in general do all the stuff that I bloody OUGHT to have done in the first place. The DWP's written version of that interview doesn't seem very much at all like the one I was at.