Thieving bastards in the night - any security advice?

[Fingers]

I electrocuted my neighbour once, after I found out he tried to break in the previous night, by hooking up the wiring to various bits of where he could get in. In the end we made an agreement that neither of us were going to mention anything to plod about it.

It was a bit of a fucking stupid idea all round with hindsight.

 

[Badgers]

Geese are better than dogs
They lay eggs and eat EVERYTHING

Noisy enough, no chance of a toddler or pensioner getting really maimed.

 

[Firky]

Ottergeese, all the benefits of an otter with the durability of a goose.

 

[AnnaKarpik]

Ottergeese, all the benefits of an otter with the durability of a goose.

What are the benefits of an otter?

Will I regret asking?

 

[extra dry]

Gravel paths and areas round sheds. Impossible to do a stealth approach. Garden pots and tubs slathered with vaseline on the outside. Keeps slugs at bay but also makes them almost impossible to lift and make away with. Thorny shrubs such as Pyracantha (firethorn) and climbing roses. Mermaid is the most vicious variety thorn-wise. Double thorns so anyone trying to climb over becomes hopelessly snagged.

Six to eight Geese would be the natural alarm of choice. Gravel paths, pit falls if you wish to hurt the people, inf-red, sound alarms - tree hides, black nets, stumble trips/traps. Dogs, like a three rottweilers or similar.

 

[extra dry]

eight foot drop tiger trap into manure.

 

[Callie]

What are the benefits of an otter?

Will I regret asking?

swift finger removal for thieves. thats got to be a benefit?

 

[Bakunin]

For the more technologically (and less lethally) inclined, may I present the non-lethal 460 Stingmore mine, available on the walls of all good embassies: