My bosses want me to holistically transition, should I?

[Mrs Miggins]

Looks like they've got some groundbreaking content

 

[Mrs Miggins]

And this.....

 

[two sheds]

That is a massive facepalm to be fair.

 

[mystic pyjamas]

Maybe Run by scientologists under the guise of a different name which is what they tend to do.
(.....please don’t sue please don’t sue...).

 

[kabbes]

MISSION
To guide individuals and groups through a transitional journey to rediscover their personal and collective power!

The Process:

We are going to use something called dual-focus to integrate the original event through the hippocampus. Then we will use our REM sleep cycles to consolidate the memory. This will take it from implicit to explicit, increasing you awareness and providing options to move forward.

WTF

This particular piece of bullshit could go one of two ways. Either it’s woo nonsense that achieves precisely nothing. Or they actually do have a way of triggering repressed past memories in what would be a highly unethical practice, given it would be done in an uncontrolled manner outside the context of a therapeutic relationship, which could be incredibly dangerous.

Fortunately, I’m guessing it’s option 1.

 

[isvicthere?]

I lost my rag with an idiot at work about 20 years ago and they sent me on a course.
I walked into the room and the posh woman running it somehow thought Mozart's clarinet concerto was relaxing - so I put her straight on that and went home ...

Something like this?

 

[MickiQ]

I spent 25 years working for a large American corporation and they were into this touchy-feely shit, We did one once when we stood in a circle to talk about how we felt and the 'instructor' (I used the word lightly) told us to describe what kind of animal we felt like. We had a Scot guy in our team who even by Glaswegian standards was less than subtle.
When it was his turn, he said "This is complete shite, how you can stand there and spout this crap wi' a straight face?"
People tended to accept going to these things with resignation as just something that we had to put up with, at least it got us out of doing any work for a while and there was always coffee and doughnuts.

 

[maomao]

MISSION
To guide individuals and groups through a transitional journey to rediscover their personal and collective power!

The Process:

We are going to use something called dual-focus to integrate the original event through the hippocampus. Then we will use our REM sleep cycles to consolidate the memory. This will take it from implicit to explicit, increasing you awareness and providing options to move forward.

WTF

Basically, they tell you you're sacked and to go have a lie down. When you wake up you realise you're fucked.

 

[ska invita]

this is amazing...the despair is...holistic

 

[ska invita]

i think its worth viewing it in its full widescreen horror


All around group team building is in full swing, people are taking part, some even seem to be enjoying it....it all becomes too much....god why have you forsaken me??

*i love how this is the second picture on their website

 

[existentialist]

Take a photo of you looking earnest, stick that in front of the webcam and fuck off and do something else with your time.

I have heard of an even better option - current versions of Zoom (if tim's using Zoom) allow video as the background. So record yourself in another Zoom meeting, and then set that recording of yourself as your background...fuck off to the living room, and voila!

 

[maomao]

I have heard of an even better option - current versions of Zoom (if tim's using Zoom) allow video as the background. So record yourself in another Zoom meeting, and then set that recording of yourself as your background...fuck off to the living room, and voila!

Runs the risk of being seen chuckling at a witty remark from yesterday while a colleague explains a recent family bereavement or something.

 

[existentialist]

Looks like they've got some groundbreaking content
View attachment 221461

Fucking hell, that even LOOKS half-hearted. Were I to even consider a "holistic transitioning" session (my last one was called "Debug your Mind", as a bit of a clue...), I think I could do a better job than this with zero preparation, one arm tied behind my back, while standing on my head in a bucket of custard. In fact, that would be the sum total of the presentation.

 

[existentialist]

Runs the risk of being seen chuckling at a witty remark from yesterday while a colleague explains a recent family bereavement or something.

Yeah, it probably needs to be very neutral video - lots of looking thoughtful by way of an excuse to not be reacting to anything

 

[Sprocket.]

And I understood they had removed the word gullible from the OED.

 

[Chilli.s]

So it's just to prepare you for sacking in case you kick off.

 

[8ball]

And I understood they had removed the word gullible from the OED.

They did that in the early 80's - I remember my mate Barry telling me.

 

[Sprocket.]

They did that in the early 80's - I remember my mate Barry telling me.

Barry told me the same.

 

[equationgirl]

You have my utmost sympathies tim this looks like utter shite.

 

[Winot]

Fucking hell, that even LOOKS half-hearted. Were I to even consider a "holistic transitioning" session (my last one was called "Debug your Mind", as a bit of a clue...), I think I could do a better job than this with zero preparation, one arm tied behind my back, while standing on my head in a bucket of custard. In fact, that would be the sum total of the presentation.

Yeah but do you have an office in Shoreditch?

 

[existentialist]

Yeah but do you have an office in Shoreditch?

No, nor can I ride a skateboard or grow a respectable Mountain Man Beard, far less a man-bun.

I must be a great disappointment to a great many people

 

[dessiato]

I was once made to go on a course to develop my communication skills. At the beginning we had to do a "test." The course deliverer said she couldn't understand why I was there I'd done so well. At the end of the course about half of us scored worse than we did at the beginning. But it was three great days in a nice hotel eating and drinking at the companies expense.

 

[Roadkill]

Plus it'll all be remote so if it's really bad you can just "oh no what's happened to my internet".

Perhaps this should be known as a 'digital sickie'?!

 

[scifisam]

Drink water and get enough sleep. And they're being paid for this!

I live next door to someone whose job title is "colour therapist." She is actually lovely, though.

Hope you get Kip. He says

"I also want to help others honour their bodies and express themselves freely through dance."

I bet he frequently offers to help others "honour their bodies."

 

[quiet guy]

Perhaps this should be known as a 'digital sickie'?!

This when your WiFi drops for no reason whatsoever.

Sympathies Tim if you have to go through this.

 

[Miss-Shelf]

MISSION
To guide individuals and groups through a transitional journey to rediscover their personal and collective power!

The Process:

We are going to use something called dual-focus to integrate the original event through the hippocampus. Then we will use our REM sleep cycles to consolidate the memory. This will take it from implicit to explicit, increasing you awareness and providing options to move forward.WTF

woo is usually my guilty pleasure but even I've got alarm bells with this snake oil shit

Ps only read the OP: you might be a convert by now

 

[Miss-Shelf]

Is it an elaborate hoax and it's really going to be a regular boring training session? But they trick you into enjoying it bc you're so relieved it's not the sound gong bath tastic workshop they set it up as ? Like my daughter just sent me this link and I wondered when she'd turned into a celeb watching stepford millennial

 

[5t3IIa]

Is it an elaborate hoax and it's really going to be a regular boring training session? But they trick you into enjoying it bc you're so relieved it's not the sound gong bath tastic workshop they set it up as ? Like my daughter just sent me this link and I wondered when she'd turned into a celeb watching stepford millennial

Did you click the link to find out who else was let into the marriage?

 

[AnnO'Neemus]

If it's in work time, sounds like a laugh. Will there be a buffet?

Silver lining to every cloud.

 

[Miss-Shelf]

Did you click the link to find out who else was let into the marriage?

Yes should have known my daughter better than that but I am obviously more shallow than her