Most Stupidly Annoying Film Plot?

[Hi-ASL]

I think that rules out any that are intentionally or unintentionally funny.

Gone in 60 Seconds: "A legendary former car thief rounds up his old gang to steal 50 cars in one night in a bid to save his brother's life". O rly? Do I even want to know why that would be necessary? Did you write it on the back of a cig packet? Blow it out yer fookin' arse.

There are undoubtedly many worse ones - but I can't think of any right now. This one really annoys me because the plot is so obviously secondary to the mayhem that follows. I mean, it's almost like they're laughing at us (well.. not me, but you know what I mean).

It's just a personal thing, I suppose. I'm sure you can all do a lot better.

 

[DotCommunist]

Snakes on a Plane

how could you Sam?

 

[fucthest8]

Eyes Wide Shut.

Or, to use the more accurate titles (that for some reason they shied away from): "Eyes Wide Shit" or "Arse Wide Open".

TO be fair I'm not sure it actually had a plot, so that may exclude it entirely.

ETA: this from IMDB: "A New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushes himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him"

Cos that sort of thing is actually what people do isn't it?

I would have been much more interested if it was about a New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushing himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of drinking everything off the top shelf at his local whilst boring the shite out of anyone who comes near about what a bitch his wife is, after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him.

ALMOST cheated on him. Fucking hell.

 

[Hi-ASL]

Snakes on a Plane

how could you Sam?

Intentionally stupid, and amusingly so. You didn't like it then?

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

Air Force One. As if the president would ever do that!

 

[DotCommunist]

Intentionally stupid, and amusingly so. You didn't like it then?

it was shit. I know it was trying to be stupidly funny. It managed the former admirably

 

[poster342002]

American Werewolf in London - whereupon the film's whole story only happens because the two main charecters suddenly veer off the pathway for no reason whatsoever (and despite having been warned to remain on the path) at the start of the film.

 

[stdPikachu]

Has to be The Core. Most mind-bogglingly error-ridden plot I have ever seen, it's like not only did the screenwriters get kicked out of remedial science classes, but they also went on to make their own science class, with blackjack, and hookers.

Yes, I have a geology degree. But I can't see how anyone can watch that film and not bite their own face off at the stupdity of it.

 

[May Kasahara]

Um, no. They lose the path accidentally while walking in thick fog.

 

[Hi-ASL]

ETA: this from IMDB: "A New York City doctor, who is married to an art curator, pushes himself on a harrowing and dangerous night-long odyssey of sexual and moral discovery after his wife admits that she once almost cheated on him"

I'm liking that. They clearly pulled that one right out of their arses. Well done.

I especially like the bit about her "once almost" cheating on him - ooh, the drama.

 

[Badgers]

Schindler's List
The Passion of the Christ

 

[poster342002]

Um, no. They lose the path accidentally while walking in thick fog.

Yes - but the path they were on was straight. To make this flimsy plot device work they had to suddenly divert from walking in a straight line and just veer widely off - for no reason at all. Ludicrous. Utterly, utterly ludicrous.

 

[May Kasahara]

But they were walking across the moors, a place where paths are not necessarily well defined. Even when you're walking across wild ground in the day, the boundaries of path and non-path land are pretty blurred; if you were walking there at night, in thick fog, high on having escaped a very weird and potentially dangerous situation, chattering with adrenalinised relief to your best friend, it's not that difficult to imagine that you might not be paying precise attention to where your foot falls.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

What May said.

 

[zoltan]

Anything by Guy Fuckin Richie

I know its an soft choice, but his stuff really is shite

(I would go for most of the Tarantiono stuff, but would get not get such an easy ride on it Im sure)

 

[poster342002]

But they were walking across the moors, a place where paths are not necessarily well defined. Even when you're walking across wild ground in the day, the boundaries of path and non-path land are pretty blurred; if you were walking there at night, in thick fog, high on having escaped a very weird and potentially dangerous situation, chattering with adrenalinised relief to your best friend, it's not that difficult to imagine that you might not be paying precise attention to where your foot falls.

Yes, but they don't gradually drift off-course - they suddenly veer sharply off to their left. That's straight off the path under their feet onto the grassy moorland. It's just silly nomatter what way you look at it or try to dress it up.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

But it's pretty obscure compared to the ridiculousness of something like Air Force One. Heck, I hadn't even noticed that detail of AWIL until you mentioned it.

 

[poster342002]

Heck, I hadn't even noticed that detail of AWIL until you mentioned it.

I can remember that absurdity flying out at me the very first time I saw it. I just couldn't see past that and just sat there thinking "this film has only ONE flimsy reason, plotwise, any of it is happening".

Always felt that film was really overrated as a result.

 

[Reno]

I always think people completely miss the point and show a tremendous lack of imagination when they pick apart fantastical, tongue in cheek genre films like The Core or American Werewolf because they aren't plausible or realistic. Ever heard of "suspension of disbelief" ?

 

[zoltan]

Ok, beat this one for shite plots

Chinese ( or is it Korean ? I forget ) communists, led by Fu manchu figure burrow tunnels all the way under Las vegas to plant Atom Bombs , as part of their plan to conquer world

All filmed on location at Shepperton with 2 stock American '60s cars to add realism.

final scene ends with man & woman running - yes running - form the atom bombs as they begin their countdown sequence, then appear several minutes later about 20 miles away so watch stock film of Mushroom clouds.

terrible

 

[fucthest8]

What?! Have you been sectioned lately?!!! That film is CLASS.

 

[upsidedownwalrus]

It sounds fantastic! As reno alluded to, these silly films shouldn't be analysed in this way. It's the ones that take themselves a little more seriously that ought to be...

 

[fucthest8]

Precisely. "Battle Beneath the Earth" knew that it was cock and played it like it knew it. Brilliant.

(... and yes, I know I just ascribed sentience to a film. Whatever. Hydraulic legs!)

 

[stdPikachu]

What May said.

Plus anecdata - I've wandered off straight paths in thick fog before. It's remakably easy.

 

[May Kasahara]

Yes, but they don't gradually drift off-course - they suddenly veer sharply off to their left.

That's not my recollection of it - as I recall, you see footage of them walking in the fog at night, chattering away to each other in a semi-scared, semi-relieved way, then they go over what they were told at the Slaughtered Lamb and look down to see they have wandered off the path. When they turn around to try and get back, they walk quickly for several minutes without regaining the path. If they had veered sharply to the left during the onscreen action, the path would only have been a few feet behind them.

I can't believe I'm having an argument this pedantic on a Friday! at self.

 

[stdPikachu]

I always think people completely miss the point and show a tremendous lack of imagination when they pick apart fantastical, tongue in cheek genre films like The Core or American Werewolf because they aren't plausible or realistic. Ever heard of "suspension of disbelief" ?

There's suspension of disbelief, and then there's DIY frontal lobotomy with a circular saw in order to nullify the laws of physics. I've no problem with things doing the unlikely, I have a problem with films doing the absolutely impossible.

 

[Reno]

That's exactly the kind of film I loved as a kid and which still brings out my inner ten year old. Hence my love for The Core, which emulated that kind of 60's hokey sci-fi adventure film perfectly and just added a cast of great character actors to the loopy science. It wasn't supposed to be a geology lesson ffs !

Here is another one I watched whenever it was on the telly:

"...the world totters on the brink of destruction !"

 

[poster342002]

Ever heard of "suspension of disbelief" ?

I've got no problem suspending disbelief for fantasy/scifi films at all - but silly plot-devices and deux-ex-machinas that are crowbarred in to make the whole thing work are another matter entirely.

 

[poster342002]

There's suspension of disbelief, and then there's DIY frontal lobotomy with a circular saw in order to nullify the laws of physics. I've no problem with things doing the unlikely, I have a problem with films doing the absolutely impossible.

Well put.

 

[Reno]

You people are trash philistines.