Horses on the rampage in Central London.

[Silas Loom]

Because it's good to get rid of old nonsense.

This.

Boil down all the horses for glue and ready meals. Disband the bands and give their instruments to schools. Abolish dress uniforms, swords and silly hats: all personnel should wear their own clothes unless they risk getting muddy or shot. Sell the dismal white-helmeted motorcyclists to a tenth-rate circus.

Do all that, and then we can talk about increasing the defence budget.

 

[Silas Loom]

Oh, and tell the Windsors that if they want public entertainment at their birthdays and funerals, they can book Mr Marvel.

 

[Sweet FA]

Why? Because a couple went for a stroll around Pimlico? Nobody was hurt, very little damage, a bit of disruption and they're all tucked-up nicely at home.

Hardly horsemageddon is it?

Because they're completely pointless.

 

[Spymaster]

Because they're completely pointless.

Ach, ya miserable old bollocks. Everything's pointless to someone. By that measure we'd have to get rid of all the museums and galleries too.

And of course, horses like these wouldn't exist if humans didn't breed and maintain them. They're worth it for that alone and the upholding of British Army tradition is a neat little bonus that can be appreciated by everyone.

 

[ska invita]

Theyre also good for charging at the mob

 

[Spymaster]

Theyre also good for charging at the mob

Police horses probably think army horses are posh wankers, whereas the champagne swilling cavalry mounts want nothing to do with the Old Bill hooligans and are looking forward to a gentle retirement on the polo fields.

 

[ska invita]

Police horses probably think army horses are posh wankers, whereas the champagne swilling cavalry mounts want nothing to do with the Old Bill hooligans and are looking forward to a gentle retirement on the polo fields.

False sense of security come the revolution (Starmers second term)

 

[Silas Loom]

Police horses probably think army horses are posh wankers, whereas the champagne swilling cavalry mounts want nothing to do with the Old Bill hooligans and are looking forward to a gentle retirement on the polo fields.

Police horses do a useful public order job.

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know? Crimea, or did they get involved in WW1?

 

[Elpenor]

Police horses do a useful public order job.

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know? Crimea, or did they get involved in WW1?

1942 in what was then Burma

https://www.historytoday.com/archive/passing-larme-blanche-last-cavalry-charge-british-military-history#:~:text=Search-,The%20Passing%20of%20L'Arme%20Blanche%3A%20The%20Last%20Cavalry%20Charge,a%20Japanese%20machine%2Dgun%20emplacement.

Sasaferrato remembers it well

 

[Spymaster]

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know?

March 1942 apparently, when a British officer charged a Japanese machine gun nest on horseback.

Silly cunt.

 

[Elpenor]

The real question is when is the next one?

 

[Silas Loom]

The real question is when is the next one?

Wouldn’t be surprised if cavalry strategy and doctrine is the gig that allows kebabking to spend all his time canvassing and posting here.

 

[Sasaferrato]

1942 in what was then Burma

https://www.historytoday.com/archive/passing-larme-blanche-last-cavalry-charge-british-military-history#:~:text=Search-,The%20Passing%20of%20L'Arme%20Blanche%3A%20The%20Last%20Cavalry%20Charge,a%20Japanese%20machine%2Dgun%20emplacement.

Sasaferrato remembers it well

Missed that one, horse went lame.

 

[DotCommunist]

Police horses do a useful public order job.

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know? Crimea, or did they get involved in WW1?

cavalry charges against machine guns in ww1, yes, actually happened. Because men and horses if sufficiently noble blooded and brave hearted can deffo defeat 600 rounds a minute coming from multiple directions

 

[Sasaferrato]

This.

Boil down all the horses for glue and ready meals. Disband the bands and give their instruments to schools. Abolish dress uniforms, swords and silly hats: all personnel should wear their own clothes unless they risk getting muddy or shot. Sell the dismal white-helmeted motorcyclists to a tenth-rate circus.

Do all that, and then we can talk about increasing the defence budget.

Philistine!

 

[WouldBe]

Police horses do a useful public order job.

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know? Crimea, or did they get involved in WW1?

You would have thought the army horses would be trained to ignore gunfire and explosions (just incase needed in a battle) so a few misplaced bricks on a building site shouldn't be a problem.

 

[kebabking]

Wouldn’t be surprised if cavalry strategy and doctrine is the gig that allows kebabking to spend all his time canvassing and posting here.

No mate, it's confidence in my teams, and a willingness to accept risk in return for building experience and 'step up' skills in my subordinates.

This, absolutely is a carefully and responsibly planned personnel development system, and not me being idle and palming my responsibilities off on people who are wary about saying 'do it yourself, you lazy bastard...'.

Hmm... Donkey Walloping Doctrine - I like that, it's innovative, agile, and can doubtless be full of impenetrable wankspeak to veil the paucity of detail and usefulness. I'll be getting after it.

 

[Spymaster]

You would have thought the army horses would be trained to ignore gunfire and explosions (just incase needed in a battle) so a few misplaced bricks on a building site shouldn't be a problem.

I think they use armoured vehicles and tanks in combat nowadays, rather than horses.

 

[bcuster]

Police horses do a useful public order job.

When was the last actual British army cavalry charge, anyone know? Crimea, or did they get involved in WW1?

No, they don't. The horses are placed in danger without any good cause. A civil disturbance is no place for these gentle creatures

Horses should be removed from urban areas. It is cruel to do otherwise

 

[WouldBe]

I think they use armoured vehicles and tanks in combat nowadays, rather than horses.

I did say "just incase".

 

[Silas Loom]

No, they don't. The horses are placed in danger without any good cause. A civil disturbance is no place for these gentle creatures

Horses should be removed from urban areas. It is cruel to do otherwise

The horses get much better training and protective kit than your average response officer with a public order ticket. They also get an extra ration of mash and an apple for every ne’er do well frightened from the scene, so they’d be first to complain if the opportunity to serve was withdrawn.

 

[NoXion]

No, they don't. The horses are placed in danger without any good cause. A civil disturbance is no place for these gentle creatures

Horses should be removed from urban areas. It is cruel to do otherwise

Don't worry, with advancing technology horses will be rendered completely obsolete and will be replaced with aerial drones, UGVs, and androids, thus rendering the issue of animal cruelty a moot one.

 

[Silas Loom]

Don't worry, with advancing technology horses will be rendered completely obsolete and will be replaced with aerial drones, UGVs, and androids, thus rendering the issue of animal cruelty a moot one.

Quite right, but horses will be the last mammals to be phased out of police work, long after the humans have been replaced with AI chatbots and the dogs with olfactory sensor drones.

 

[Spymaster]

Don't worry, with advancing technology horses will be rendered completely obsolete and will be replaced with aerial drones, UGVs, and androids, thus rendering the issue of animal cruelty a moot one.

Well we've been there for quite some time but hopefully it'll be a while before drones and androids replace horses for ceremonial stuff and biting tourists.

 

[SpookyFrank]

We needed Hayley Moore at the scene...

I know horse people are generally pretty dim but fuck me those two blokes in the studio sound like they've washed down a lobotomy with half a decanter of sherry.