Help! Everyone I know is scum...:(

[EastEnder]

During my recent acquaintance audit it became clear to me that everyone I know is terribly beneath me, some shockingly so...

Uncouth, uncultured, uncivilised, ghastly to look at, no manners whatsoever & worst of all, embarrassingly poor!!

Fewer than half of my acquaintances even have trust funds!! Seriously!!

I've grown so intolerably weary of being surrounded by all these wage slave, soap dodging, lottery ticket buying peasants, I must expunge the scum & seek out a finer calibre of acquaintance.

But how? I've scanned the classifieds of both Tatler & Country Life to no avail. I had one of my junior butlers spend the week outside Harrods, eyeing up any potential replacements, but he came away empty handed, so I had to dismiss him & have his family deported.

So I'm opening up the floor to suggestions from like minded souls - but please note, only reply if your family name appears prominently in the Doomsday Book & your family crest is, or has recently been, on display in the National Gallery.

 

[Pickman's model]

a few years ago i would have advised the tolling gang or meanwhile at the bar but there are no longer the alternatives to this place there used to be. you're stuck here i'm sorry to say.

 

[BoxRoom]

I would ask a few of my chums but I don't do manual labour. Sorry, old chap.

 

[fizzerbird]

a few years ago i would have advised the tolling gang or meanwhile at the bar but there are no longer the alternatives to this place there used to be. you're stuck here i'm sorry to say.

I remember those..I was Both 'Sparticus" AND "No, I'm Sparticus" got really confusing...

 

[kebabking]

i'm sorry to say, but by a mans friends shall ye know him....

 

[girasol]

Are your friends also a bit dim? And are some of them wimmin?

 

[EastEnder]

Are your friends also a bit dim? And are some of them wimmin?

Even worse, some are both a bit dim & wimmin, and foreigners!!!

I mean it's one thing to have barely literate foreign types scrubbing out the stables or cleaning the chimney, but one shouldn't have to interact with such beasts. God only knows what unspeakable diseases these folk are riddled with!

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Can't you look up some of your old school chums? The old alma mater, what?

 

[Pickman's model]

Can't you look up some of your old school chums? The old alma mater, what?

he looks down on his auld school chums

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Can't you look up some of your old school chums? The old alma mater, what?

That's the problem, so many traditional schools are being overrun by Johnnies from the far east, Russia etc. and to be frank, these people are scum.

Really need to avoid Eton, Harrow, Rugby et al these days, stick to the Gordonstouns for academic indifference, brutality and buggery; but at least there are no oiks.

 

[EastEnder]

That's the problem, so many traditional schools are being overrun by Johnnies from the far east, Russia etc. and to be frank, these people are scum.

The accursed nouveau riche...

God, how I despise them! These "people" don't even have the good grace to pretend they were born into money!

 

[Pseudopsycho]

The accursed nouveau riche...

God, how I despise them! These "people" don't even have the good grace to pretend they were born into money!

They probably bought their furniture too.