Health & Safety notice: Coronavirus quarantine thread for infected urban posters

[editor]

Health & Safety notice:

Please note: if you are unfortunate enough to catch this virus, you will be required to post in this thread only until you are declared fit again. This is for the benefit of your fellow posters.

 

[andysays]

Health & Safety notice:

Please note: if you are unfortunate enough to catch this virus, you will be required to post in this thread only until you are declared fit again. This is for the benefit of your fellow posters.

Are the moderators going to be providing an online testing service?

 

[Supine]

Are the moderators going to be providing an online testing service?

I can do that:

Do you have symptoms of a cold? Yes, you’ve got a cold.
Do you have symptoms of flu? Yes, you’ve got flu.
Do you have a fever, chest pains and / or difficulty breathing? Yes, get off the internet and phone 111.

 

[editor]

Are the moderators going to be providing an online testing service?

We already have cameras installed in all posters' homes, so our crack monitoring team will be on hand to swiftly spot any outbreaks and promptly transfer any infected posts to this quarantine thread.

And we'd like to thanks posters for their cooperation in this matter.

 

[newbie]

surely there should be an exemption for those posters who haven't used their e, t or a keys for 14 days?

 

[Detroit City]

indeed

 

[Pickman's model]

We already have cameras installed in all poster's homes, so our crack monitoring team will be on hand to swiftly spot any outbreaks and promptly transfer any infected posts to this quarantine thread.

And we'd like to thanks posters for their cooperation in this matter.

posters'

and i don't suppose people from the drugs forum will be overjoyed to hear about a crack monitoring team

 

[8ball]

...our crack monitoring team will be on hand to swiftly spot any outbreaks and promptly transfer any infected posts to this quarantine thread.

I don't think you can diagnose coronavirus by monitoring someone's crack.

 

[Private Storm]

Where should we go if we've been to a Chinese supermarket, eaten pizza and thought about going on a cruise and want to self-quarantine, just in case?

 

[8ball]

Where should we go if we've been to a Chinese supermarket, eaten pizza and thought about going on a cruise and want to self-quarantine, just in case?

Dagenham.

 

[SpookyFrank]

I have it on good authority that several posters I don't like have recently returned from Iran, South Korea or northern Italy and have been coughing for days.

 

[editor]

I don't think you can diagnose coronavirus by monitoring someone's crack.

You won't believe the things this new forum software is capable of.

 

[8ball]

You won't believe the things this new forum software is capable of.

<checks privacy settings>

 

[two sheds]

I don't think you can diagnose coronavirus by monitoring someone's crack.

Where else would you stick the thermometer?

 

[editor]

<checks privacy settings>

<quietly overrides privacy settings, sets user cam to 'broadcast'>

 

[farmerbarleymow]

<quietly overrides privacy settings, sets user cam to 'broadcast'>

I always suspected this forum was a front for GCHQ.