Hard Shoulders of the British Isles

[Dogsauce]

Hitching south to Bristol once in the mid 90s, I got dropped on the M1 hard shoulder where the A42 branches off south of Nottingham, as there was no roundabout there to come off and back on again and the driver was heading London way. I had to walk about three miles to a lay-by to get another lift, but on the way I found four hundred duty free bennies (two sleeves) lying on the grass verge that had fallen from a vehicle somehow. Topped up my dole for a few weeks selling them to friends and housemates at a couple of quid a pack. Yay capitalism.

 

[not-bono-ever]

I blew the engine of my first car around here and coasted into the services where i dumped it and hitchiked south

 

[spliff]

Song for a Beautiful Girl Petrol pump Attendant on the Motorway

I wanted your soft verges
But you gave me the hard shoulder..

Adrian Henri

 

[mauvais]

Operation Stack on the M20

View attachment 136805

It's Optimus Prime's birthday and there's a free bar.

(can't remember where I stole this from)

 

[SpookyFrank]

Hard shoulders around the country's motorways are being turned into lanes as part of the 'Smart Motorways' bollocks

Save the hard shoulders!

Terrible idea bound to cause more congestion than it prevents. Accidents too I wouldn't wonder, what with your hard shoulder being narrower than a proper motorway lane.

 

[ringo]

I've urinated on a fair few hard shoulders in my time. Never in a bottle and leave it there though, thats anti social.

I've had to resist starting a photo journal of bottles of piss spotted by kerbs. It makes me laugh but its just a bit too grim.

 

[ringo]

My Dad's Austin Maestros (two in row ) always broke down on the Boxing Day drive to his brother's house. There was usually no heating and the AA would take hours to arrive. My Dad would be shouting and my Mum crying. Utter misery. It was on one of these occasions when my brother, aged 6, told me, aged 4, that we would never meet up on holidays as adults. We've kept to that promise.

 

[Poi E]

I've had to resist starting a photo journal of bottles of piss spotted by kerbs. It makes me laugh but its just a bit too grim.

Grim. I carry an invalids piss bottle these days so don't need to litter the hard shoulder. Too much time spent in traffic with a dodgy bladder.

 

[not-bono-ever]

I've had to resist starting a photo journal of bottles of piss spotted by kerbs. It makes me laugh but its just a bit too grim.

that's an interesting idea. I remember seeing an exhibition / photo essay pictures of flowers and memorials of the A13 hard shoulder.

 

[danny la rouge]

It was on one of these occasions when my brother, aged 6, told me, aged 4, that we would never meet up on holidays as adults. We've kept to that promise.

I love this detail. Thanks.

 

[danny la rouge]

that's an interesting idea. I remember seeing an exhibition / photo essay pictures of flowers and memorials of the A13 hard shoulder.

Does the A13 have a hard shoulder?

 

[ringo]

I love this detail. Thanks.

To be fair we never got on, he's a massive twat, and don't see each other anyway, but it's comforting to know that's been in place since we could first communicate

 

[danny la rouge]

A13. It does: A13 approaching A1306 junction (C) Robin Webster

 

[ringo]

that's an interesting idea. I remember seeing an exhibition / photo essay pictures of flowers and memorials of the A13 hard shoulder.

A mate has a FB group of photos of single lost gloves he finds, called Looking For Glove.

I'd start, but I haven't thought up a snappy title yet, and I don't know if I ever want to be known for being the bottle of piss bloke. But it still has this niggling appeal...

 

[not-bono-ever]

The Kidney cider diaries

 

[not-bono-ever]

The container driver kidney cider diaries

If you want to add a Fall reference

 

[A380]

Hard shoulders...



(Me earlier)

 

[weltweit]

A34 I has broken down on on motorbikes and in cars.

Not since the Newbury bypass though.

 

[Plumdaff]

My one (touch dashboard) hard shoulder breakdown was technically on the very busy Coryton roundabout as pictured below (the two lanes on the left as they merge onto the M4) I was suddenly aware that I could no longer change gear as my clutch cable had snapped but I managed to glide to the relative safety of the start of the hard shoulder. The police turned up very speedily and gave me a lift to Coryton Asda to wait in the cafe for the breakdown service .

 

[Dogsauce]

I ran out of fuel on the A1 just south of Gateshead, but was able to coast downhill to a lay-by (doesn’t appear to be a hard shoulder on that part on aerial maps). Didn’t know it was the fuel as it was a hire car which appeared to have a full tank when I picked it up 80 miles south of there, it just lost power on me. The AA guy discovered someone had got into the tank under the back seat and tied up the float switch in the tank with cable ties so the gauge would show full. Had to put up with people pointing and shaking their heads as the AA van towed me into the nearest service station. Fuckers.

 

[marty21]

I ran out of fuel on the A1 just south of Gateshead, but was able to coast downhill to a lay-by (doesn’t appear to be a hard shoulder on that part on aerial maps). Didn’t know it was the fuel as it was a hire car which appeared to have a full tank when I picked it up 80 miles south of there, it just lost power on me. The AA guy discovered someone had got into the tank under the back seat and tied up the float switch in the tank with cable ties so the gauge would show full. Had to put up with people pointing and shaking their heads as the AA van towed me into the nearest service station. Fuckers.

Fuckers indeed

 

[mauvais]

My one (touch dashboard) hard shoulder breakdown was technically on the very busy Coryton roundabout as pictured below (the two lanes on the left as they merge onto the M4) I was suddenly aware that I could no longer change gear as my clutch cable had snapped but I managed to glide to the relative safety of the start of the hard shoulder. The police turned up very speedily and gave me a lift to Coryton Asda to wait in the cafe for the breakdown service .

What do you need a clutch cable (or to change gear) for?

 

[Plumdaff]

What do you need a clutch cable (or to change gear) for?

It generally helps to be out of first when on a motorway

 

[Rosemary Jest]

I once 'broke down' on a motorbike going west to east on the A66 where there is no hard shoulder. It was right on the top somewhere near the highest point.

Fuck knows what I was doing on a 125 trying to overtake a bus going up hill, but the bike spluttered and then the engine died on my completely. Luckily I coasted it to an abandoned farmhouse by the side of the road. Tried to get the bike started a few times and then realised the choke had turned itself fully on, probably due to the vibrations of the overtake attempt.

It was lucky as well, as there wasn't a phone signal up there, and I reckon the farmhouse had some leather-face type murderer living there. Possibly.

 

[newbie]

Once upon a time, not so many years ago, the wonderful A361 was a relatively minor road with its own celebratory website, wiki page and dedicated fan base. The website seems to have gone, which is a shame, because I wanted to find out if anyone had listed every hard shoulder along its length (if there are any). Perhaps we'll never know

 

[OzT]

I ran out of fuel on the A1 just south of Gateshead,

Ahh glad you brought this up. I was told it is unlawful to run out of fuel on the motorway as you must ensure you have enough when you get on.

so I guess that was an untruth I was told then

 

[existentialist]

Ahh glad you brought this up. I was told it is unlawful to run out of fuel on the motorway as you must ensure you have enough when you get on.

so I guess that was an untruth I was told then

Apparently it's not unlawful in itself:

http://www.dieselcar.com/features/legal-i/the-law-and-running-out-of-fuel-on-a-motorway/

 

[marty21]

I once 'broke down' on a motorbike going west to east on the A66 where there is no hard shoulder. It was right on the top somewhere near the highest point.

Fuck knows what I was doing on a 125 trying to overtake a bus going up hill, but the bike spluttered and then the engine died on my completely. Luckily I coasted it to an abandoned farmhouse by the side of the road. Tried to get the bike started a few times and then realised the choke had turned itself fully on, probably due to the vibrations of the overtake attempt.

It was lucky as well, as there wasn't a phone signal up there, and I reckon the farmhouse had some leather-face type murderer living there. Possibly.

don't go into the abandoned isolated farmhouse

 

[marty21]

Apparently it's not unlawful in itself:

http://www.dieselcar.com/features/legal-i/the-law-and-running-out-of-fuel-on-a-motorway/

There is petrol available on motorways and off motorways - be interesting to know what is the largest gap between fuelling stops in the uk though #justincase

 

[OzT]

don't go into the abandoned isolated farmhouse

Only if you're name's Brad and your pillion's Janet . .. .